Life Anew
by Gweatherwax
Summary: Where Naruto and Sasuke form their family and start dealing with a thousand-year rift between continents. Second part of the Sage Wisdom series (breakaway from chapter 672 of the mangaverse), Prequel to When Worlds Collide. YAOI. Adoption. Mature themes. Assorted citrus.
1. Chapter 1

*****************WARNING***************************

I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, Kishimoto does. But Ishoo is mine. So's Amachi. Also, this story contains Yaoi, sex, smut, lemons, limes, cherries, violence and a lot of even more controversial content, so beware.

"Oi Naruto, wake your lazy ass up!"

Sasuke pulled the blankets off in a fit of anger, and Naruto fell headfirst on the bedroom floor.

"Ouch, ttebayo!"

"Ouch nothing, it was YOUR idea to wake up this early on a Sunday to go see Hinata, now get moving, it' the third time I call you and I am NOT reheating your ramen, it's disgusting enough fresh!" Sasuke kicked him in the butt to mark his annoyance.

Naruto gathered himself yawning and wiping at his eyes, wondering if old Tsunade would mind him filing for divorce after less than a year of marriage. He loved Sasuke, but damn it, the man was bitchy early in the morning.

'Yeah, but he was ALWAYS bitchy in the morning, he never hid that from anyone, kit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself' Kurama whispered inside his mind, and he could hear the other tailed beasts laughing.

And THAT was another little present the Sage gave him without warning: he had the ability to use all of the tailed beasts' chakra because they had ALL moved into him of their own accord; apparently they found living inside his body and watching his life immensely entertaining.

Worse part, Kurama was right and Sasuke had ALWAYS been a bitch in the mornings, it was just Naruto's wishful thinking that it was all the revenge-driven angst that made him that way when they were kids. His husband was definitely NOT a morning person, and made it quite clear when they had slowly gone back to missions: he was perfectly all right with doing the most ridiculously easy, or the hardest (people being what they were, peace actually existed amongst the nations, but that didn't deter criminals of every type from making everyday life a pain in the butt), as long as they did NOT involve waking up before at least 10 am.

Naruto scratched his belly, rising and dragging himself out of the bedroom. It really wasn't fair, Sasuke had got the sweetest deal out after the war, being paired with Shikamaru and Kakashi and doing all the fun covert night missions, while he was forced to do all the damn boring bureaucratic jobs Tsunade ran away from in lieu of "Hokage training". Yeah, like SHE had any…

His train of thought stopped as he smelled the ramen on the breakfast table, along with his annoyance.

"Oi, you made me breakfast! Thank you!" He hugged Sasuke from behind, almost dropping his black coffee.

"Hn. Drop my coffee and die."

"I love you too, asshole" Naruto laughed, kissing his ear and settling down for his ramen. That was a plus in their relationship, Sasuke would always make him cup ramen for breakfast, saying it was because the milk was always so old it'd bite him if he went near it, but actually out of pure morning grogginess.

"Why the fuck did you agree to meet Hinata so early anyway, it's not as if the orphanage is going anywhere."

"Because I want to talk to her while the kids are in class, they take up all her time later. I wanna see how she's hanging on; I hardly had time to really talk to her after the war."

"You still feel guilty about Neji." Sasuke went to the cupboard to refill his coffee mug, reminding himself to write another very heartfelt thank you letter for the steady supply of coffee beans from A. He had apologized for cutting off the Raikage's arm, but was really surprised when the first bag of coffee had arrived with a note saying the Raikage had heard how horrible he felt in the morning, that he related to the feeling and wanted to share his own personal cure for it. Since then he grudgingly felt a sincere admiration for the man.

"Um, er. Yes. And for her." Naruto was looking dejected now; Sasuke knew that was because Naruto knew that Sasuke was always uneasy around Hinata and her bottomless, heady love for her dobe. Not because of jealousy: both of them knew Naruto only had that kind of love for Sasuke; but because being around Hinata made Sasuke remember, deep in his bones, the idiot he had been for all those years, and all the pain and suffering his continuing stupidity had brought everyone.

"Go get dressed, dobe." Sasuke's face was hidden from him by his hair and the mug, but Naruto could sense his shame, so he finished the ramen quickly and went back to the bedroom quietly.

* * *

The streets were already packed with people as they left Naruto's apartment a few minutes later. It was the middle of fall season, and the sun shone brightly despite the cold. They made their way to the school quietly for a few blocks, and then heard the sound of running behind them.

"Oi! Ooooooiii Double-U!"

Sasuke covered his face with his palm while the dobe turned around to greet Konohamaru. Ok, it had been HIS idea to introduce Konoha to the northern habit of adding surnames when marrying, a common usage he learned in the land of Ice and something he found incredibly useful, since it made sure no clan names were lost when the couple being married had lost most of their relatives, which was a regular occurrence in such a harsh, unforgiving environment. It didn't help that the people were fiercely aggressive and bloodthirsty, either – Sasuke almost giggled when he remembered Orochimaru's band running for their lives with an entire village chasing them: he had to use crutches for weeks after they finally left the accursed place, even the oldest grannies were tough as teak, angry as rabid polar bears, and twice as ruthless – but the ink had barely dried on his and Naruto's marriage contracts when Killer B started calling them "Double-U", and even though Sasuke had put the fear of death in most villagers, Konohamaru, being almost a carbon-copy of his dobe, especially when it came to being clueless, had never stopped using the "affectionate nickname", as Kakashi dubbed it.

"Konohamaru! I didn't know you had come back already!" Naruto was throwing the young chunnin up in the air, laughing.

"I just got in, nii-san, was gonna get breakfast before going home when I saw you guys and decided to say hello. Eh, where are you going so early?"

"We're gonna go see Hinata, wanna tag along?"

Konohamaru stopped on his tracks and went slightly pale.

"Uh, um, you're going to the little-kids school then."

Naruto caught the serious tone in Konohamaru's voice and stopped. "Yeah, is there any trouble there? Is Hinata ok?"

"Uh, eh, Hinata is fine; it's just that… eh… one of the orphans there is really weird." Konohamaru was now looking at his feet, knowing it was a sensitive subject for Naruto.

"Kono-yarou, how can you say that about those little kids? We're orphans too, remember?" Naruto was angry and more than a little hurt.

"Naruto, you don't understand, it's not like us, Hinata had to separate her from the rest of the kids, they're afraid of her."

Naruto looked completely shocked at Konohamaru. "Konohamaru…"

"Hn. Let's go, dobe, I want to see that for myself."

Sasuke pulled Naruto away, suddenly eager to get to the school. He felt the rage boiling inside him, the same rage he felt when he realized what Naruto had gone through when he was a kid. To think there was another, as lost and shunned as Naruto was, as lonely as he himself had been… it was not acceptable.

* * *

They crossed the gates of the little compound that doubled as kindergarden and orphanage in silence, and were soon greeted by Hinata.

After the war, Hinata had decided to give up missions for a while and devote her time to the war orphans, along with leading her clan away from the old ways of branch and main houses. She said it made her feel more useful than shinobi work, but her friends knew how much Neji's death had hurt her and all agreed that her peaceful nature needed the break from their violent routine.

She came to greet them wearing a simple pink apron over her regular clothing, a friendly smile in her face, but got serious as she saw both ninja's angry faces.

"Naruto-kun? Sasuke? What's wrong?"

"You drive a little kid who hasn't got anyone away from everybody and you ask US what's wrong? That's not you, Hinata! How could you do something like that?" Naruto had angry tears welling on his eyes.

"Oh. Naruto-kun, it's not like that, you don't understand!" She said in a quavering voice.

"We understand, Hinata. We understand it too well" Sasuke said quietly, looking straight at her.

Hinata faced him and regained some of her composure.

"No, you DON'T. She almost killed another child, we HAD to keep her away from the others after that!" She roared at them.

"Baka! Why didn't you talk to her? Ask her why?" Sasuke raged, immediately relating, while Naruto stared at her, unbelieving.

"BECAUSE SHE'S TWO YEARS OLD!" Hinata yelled.

* * *

The three of them approached the little garden where the toddler played by herself. She was tall for a two year-old, not chubby, but slightly bigger than the others. She was lying on her stomach in a sandy patch, tickling quarry lice. She'd tickle the lice into a ball, roll it around delicately, and then watch as it stopped rolling.

"That little kid almost killed a five years old boy?" Naruto asked, amazed.

"Yes. The boy was a biter, he had already hurt some of the other kids, but then he decided to bite her leg. She didn't cry or scream or anything, she just lifted an iron chair and banged it on his head until he passed out." Hinata said, worry in her voice. "I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't seen it, those chairs weight almost 25 pounds each."

Sasuke watched the little girl as she watched the quarry lice intently. The small insect uncoiled, walked around a little, and ran straight to her finger again.

"She was defending herself, dattebayo! Nobody told me she was being attacked by a bully!" Naruto said firmly. "Is the boy all right, then?" He said, almost as an afterthought.

Sasuke watched as the quarry lice nudged the toddler's finger until she sighed and tickled it again. She rolled the insect away, just as another came close and climbed on her thumb.

"Yes, his skull was cracked but he's fine." She said ironically.

"Naruto-kun, that is not the only issue. We have no idea where she came from. And she is different from the other children. Really, really… different." Hinata said softly, turning to watch the little girl with sad eyes.

Sasuke watched as the girl blew softly on the insect in her thumb. It reared itself on its hind legs, she blew on it again and it fell backwards, rolling into a ball off her knuckle and into the sand. The first lice was already eagerly climbing her hand.

He was just too curious about the insects' behavior. Was she related to the Aburame clan? She didn't look like it, with her dark ash-blond pigtailed hair and extremely rosy complexion, but maybe the insects were a clue, and he activated his Sharingan.

"That… that… that's IMPOSSIBLE" Sasuke gasped, trembling.

Hinata looked at him and nodded. "Same thing I thought when I used the Byakugan on her. But it obviously is."

"What? What's wrong?" Naruto asked loudly, clearly peeved that he couldn't see.

"She has no chakra, Naruto." Sasuke was examining the kid again, flabbergasted at what he saw.

The girl was perfectly fine, alive, and healthy, but there were no chakra pathways in her body whatsoever. The sharingan could see the outline of her physical body, but he could imagine Hinata's shock when she saw it. The kid would be completely invisible to the Byakugan.

"WHAT?" Naruto was staring at the kid open mouthed when he yelled, and the child turned to face them, startled out of her play.

Sasuke fainted.

"Oi! Oi! Sasuke!" Naruto bent to raise him, worried to death. Hinata went to help.

"Hmmmm… I'm ok. I'm ok, stop fanning me!" Sasuke said, sitting up. His eyes widened then.

"Sowwy."

The little girl was standing at the metal grate separating them, looking at Sasuke with a concerned look in her brown eyes. Naruto and Hinata looked at her, and she took a step backwards.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault." Sasuke smiled at the little girl, and came closer to the grate. "What's your name?"

"Ishoo!" She smiled and gave a very clumsy bow.

"Ishoo..." Sasuke's eyes filled with unshed tears as he whispered "Of course".

Naruto scratched his head as his teme smiled like an idiot. "Who gave her that name?" he asked Hinata.

"Um, no one. We found her in a rice field nearby after the war, and the first thing she did was say Ishoo and point to herself."

Ishoo was currently staring intently at Naruto's belly, and he felt more than a little uncomfortable.

"Hi, ttebayo!" He said, smiling at her hungry eyes. 'Konohamaru was right, she is weird.', he thought.

"Can I play with your puppy please?" Ishoo asked, fidgeting with her hands, a little embarrassed blush coloring her face even more.

"Heh heh, uh, my puppy?" Naruto looked completely lost for words.

"Yes. That puppy." She pointed straight at where his seal used to be. "Please?"

Naruto froze, suddenly terrified of the little girl. 'She can't be asking that' he thought.

Suddenly he felt the strangest thing, a warmth all over his mind, and closing his eyes he saw Kurama as he was when just a pup, all huge hopeful eyes and wagging tails. He opened his eyes and blurted out "Sure".

The kid alighted with happiness.

"Thank you oni-san! Thank you thank you thank you!" she jumped and tried to hug him through the grate, then took a large breath and clapped. Naruto felt like a rushing wind passed through his whole body, and then Kurama was just there, yapping and jumping at her excitedly.

* * *

Naruto fell shakily into a chair in Hinata's office, and thankfully accepted a cup of tea from her assistant.

"Hinata… does Tsunade baa-chan know about this?" He could barely think straight after seeing a pint-sized Kurama simply jump out of him to play with a child he had met for the first time. He could still feel his link to Kurama, knew that he hadn't entirely _left_ him entirely, but what happened had shaken him to his core.

"She… she never did anything like that before…" Hinata also looked stunned. "Please… please don't think ill of Ishoo-chan, though… she… she is different, but she never hurt or was mean to anyone except the boy that bit her, she's strange, but she is little more than a baby…" her eyes were filling with tears.

"Hinata, I'm not angry at her. I seriously doubt Kurama would have… gone to play with her, if she was evil."

Naruto took one of Hinata's hands in his.

"It's just… it's just that the other children were so afraid of her when she hurt Tetsuo-chan…" she frowned. "And she… she saw it, Naruto-kun. She looked exactly like you did when the villagers shunned you, and she stayed away from them, so I put her away from the children, because she's just so LITTLE to feel that sadness yet, Naruto-kun, I didn't know what else to do, if Tsunade-sama knows… if she knows the girl isn't human, she might want to kill her, and I… I can't deal with it, Naruto-kun, I can't let them kill her just for existing, I know she hurt Tetsuo-chan, but so many died in the war and it's not even her FAULT!"

She was crying openly now, holding her head on her hands desperately.

"Hinata…" Naruto had come around the table and was now crouching beside her, trying to comfort her and feeling miserable himself. Hinata was right, Ishoo wasn't human, even if she was almost a baby yet, and the fourth war was just too fresh for any of the Kages to feel safe letting her live. But then, maybe because of that, it'd be safer that way…

'NO!' Nine voices yelled in unison.

The pain he felt inside was so huge he fell on his back, whimpering.

'HOW CAN YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DARE THINK THAT? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?'

His own body rebelled at his thoughts, his chakra suddenly burning painfully.

'But… but how can we know she's not a threat?'

'I can't believe that of the two of you, the _Uchiha_ is able to understand and not you, Baka! Can't you FEEL it in her?' Kurama snarled.

"Sasuke…" he whimpered.

'IT COMES. FEEL IT, CHILD!' Nine voices commanded, in a joyous scream.

And suddenly the pain gave way to everything.

* * *

Sasuke was sitting near Ishoo, under a pear tree. He had refused to go inside, using "watching Kurama" as an excuse to stay with the little girl.

"Ishoo-chan, Hinata-sama says you hurt someone the other day." He watched the kid as she sat beside him and crossed her legs, Kurama happily curling in her lap. She was all sweaty and flustered, and the fox kit - 'Who could ever see the Kyuubi as a kit', Sasuke mused – panted. They had run around the garden for a full half hour.

"Mhhmmm. Tetsuo-chan." She said noncomitally.

"Why did you hurt him?" He asked, looking at her eyes. Without activating the Sharingan, from this close he could see they looked exactly like human eyes, except for the fact that her iris seemed to have different colors on each layer, brown mostly, but vivid green, shocking orange, and metallic gold underneath, colors that appeared or disappeared as the muscular tissue moved. The very border of her iris was a deep navy blue. He forced himself not to look at the pupil.

"Tetsuo-chan was biting all the babies. The babies cried, I pushed him, and he bit me." She held her head low.

"Why didn't you call Hinata-sama?"

"Because he had to stop. Hinata-sama just takes him away, and then he comes back and bites again."

"And then you stopped him." It wasn't a question, but she nodded.

"Hinata-sama says he was hurt real bad."

"I had to make him stop biting. He bit me and bit me and bit me and I hurt him so he would stop." She mumbled.

"Ishoo-chan, I know it hurt, but he could have died. Do you know what dying is?" Sasuke knew she might not understand, but he had to talk to her, and that was the only way he knew how. Hinata was right, she was small, so small.

"Yes". She answered in a cold voice.

Sasuke trembled in fear, real fear then. He said, very carefully, "Tetsuo-chan could have died, Ishoo-chan.".

She shivered, and then looked straight at him, sad anger in her face.

"No, he could not. Nothing dies, even if I hurt it bad. It just hurts, and he had to hurt to stop biting."

The brown in her eyes was almost gone, faint specks in a myriad of colors. He shuddered, trying to remain calm, and looked at Kurama in her lap; the red kitsune pup was completely relaxed, and gave him an amused look.

Ishoo sighed, an adult sound, and delicately put Kurama on his arms, standing up.

"I'll show you, but then I have to go back to being what I am now, or I won't be able to help, and you and Naruto won't be able to be my fathers. And I want that very much, Sasuke."

He felt his mouth hang open. He had never told her his name.

She raised her hand, and a squirrel jumped from the pear tree to her hand, and bowed to her.

She turned to face him, and in a quick movement wrung the squirrel with her tiny hands, breaking all its bones. It didn't even squeak.

Sasuke almost wet his pants in shock.

"Look at it with your purple eye." She stretched her hands, the poor dead, mangled furball splayed across them.

Sasuke activated the Rinnegan and looked. The squirrel was alive. Completely, utterly crushed, broken, but his chakra remained, outlining the body as it should be.

Ishoo closed her eyes and drew a large breath. Sasuke saw everything around distort for a heartbeat, and then a little ball of white energy was spinning in her chest, first slowly, and then gaining speed as she held her breath.

He watched breathless as it spun faster and faster, the energy rising in frequency until it was invisible even to the Rinnegan. Ishoo then sobbed inwardly and he felt the unseen energy spread out through her arms into her hands. The squirrel's body twisted and turned in her hands, making small popping noises as the very atoms that composed it rearranged themselves back around its chakra.

Ishoo left her breath out, and all Sasuke could see was color, all the colors the Rinnegan could see, jumbled and pulsing together. He cried out as the energy hit him, pushed him physically back and thrummed through his body and mind. He closed his eyes on instinct, his own breath knocked out of him while he held on his consciousness desperately. He could feel every single cell in his body bathed in it, could hear everything in and out of his body, from the proteins walking around carrying things inside his cells 'Gods, proteins have little FEET, I never believed that when Kabuto talked about it' to the thunderous flap of bird wings above, water gushing upwards the plants xylems like waterfalls in reverse, tiny roots plundering the earth under him, a cacophony of sounds as life itself, not the tiny part of it that was chakra, coursed through his body, mind and soul.

He could physically FEEL what it was like to be anything alive, made acquaintance with all the microscopic biota that not only lived, but was a part of him; could feel the entire circle of existence that happened on him, in him, WAS him, and through all that he could feel Kurama writhing and moaning in pleasure in his lap, could feel the oni's energy rising in frequency to respond to what was going on inside it, and wondered how could anything alive be other than terrified at the size of the experience.

It felt like an eternity had passed, but eventually his senses dulled again to normal levels, and he gasped out, opening his teary eyes.

In front of him, Ishoo was again just a two year-old girl, looking very scared at him, with an extremely alive and very healthy squirrel sitting on her head.

* * *

Naruto slowly felt the energy fade, and his heart almost crushed with the loss of it, but he realized it was stopping like the last drops of the first spring storm after a droughty winter, and that it was right for it to stop, to let the parched earth rest and absorb the water, lest it carried everything away.

He opened his eyes to see Hinata and Sakura fussing over him, looking terrified.

"Naruto-kun! Naruto-kun! Thank Gods, I thought you were having a seizure or something!" Hinata bent down to hug him, the fear having dried her previous tears.

"I'm fine. I'm… I'm fine." Naruto patted her on the back and sat when she finally let go of him.

"Sakura-chan, why are you here?" He looked at her angry face.

"Making a fool of myself and leaving people who actually NEED me behind because of nothing, baka!" She raged and hit him over the head, before gathering her medical kit and stomping out.

"Uh, what was that for?" Naruto rubbed his head.

"You fell back and it looked like you had passed out. Sakura said you were only sleeping, that you were completely fine, but I was afraid…" Hinata said, blushing.

"Hinata-chan, I am really fine, seriously" he stopped. "Can you hear crying?"

'Naruto, COME NOW! She needs you!' He felt Kurama's calling more than heard it, and as he saw the fox-puppy in the doorway he scrambled to his feet, running after it.

* * *

They ran inside the small garden to find a very startled Sasuke standing up with the crying toddler in his arms, clumsily trying to soothe her.

"Naruto… Naruto help please… Ishoo-chan honey, I'm sorry, we're here, we're fine…"

Seeing the toddler crying and sobbing in his lover's arms almost broke Naruto's heart. He ran to put his arms around them, kissing the little girl as she grabbed his shirt with a little hand, holding Sasuke fast with the other.

"It's ok baby, it's ok…" he felt a sob on his throat as he hugged her, and knew. "Tou-chan's here… Tou-chan's here, dattebayo."

Sasuke pulled him closer and kissed him deeply.

* * *

"What?"

"She's coming with us, I need a copy of her health records, whatever clothes she has…"

"Not many, we're buying more" Sasuke interrupted, cradling the sleeping child.

"And I need you to write down what she eats and whatever we need to get her that she can't be without. You know, diapers or stuff."

"Naruto, she's two, she doesn't use diapers anymore, we have to get her a potty." Sasuke had opened one of Hinata's archives and was rummaging in it with one hand, after having balanced the toddler's head on his shoulder.

"Ew." Naruto made a face.

"Uh, guys? Would you sit down for a second?" Hinata was trying to stop Naruto from shuffling the papers in her desk.

"Oi Hinata-chan, where are your "How to take care of" leaflets? Kiba told me they have one on the pound for when people go get puppies or something, it's in a box right at the front desk, you guys should really do stuff like them, Kiba said it's really practical" Naruto rambled while looking through a stack of papers.

Hinata was trying to decide how to catch the two young men's attention without waking up the sleeping child. 'Calm down and think, Hinata. What would Sakura do?'

She sighed, knowing what Sakura would do. She hoped they would react the same as when she did it.

She calmly walked to Sasuke and hauled him to her desk by the ear.

"Ouch! Be careful, Hyuuga, you'll wake her!" he hissed, letting himself drop on one of the chairs as she pulled on Naruto's ear with her other hand.

"I am going to sit on my chair and the both of you will calmly explain to me what the hell is going on, or else."

She let them go, composed herself and sat daintily on her chair, smoothing her apron and looking seriously at them.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other warily, as if deciding who would be the one doing the talking. Hinata heard a small thump as Naruto kicked Sasuke's leg, saw the scowl on Sasuke's face, Naruto's frown, and after a whole minute of violent, but blissfully silent, interactions, Sasuke scowled again and started speaking.

"We're adopting Ishoo-chan. We know what happened to Tetsuo-kun, she never meant to hurt him so much. She beat the crap out of him, but only because when she pushed him off from biting the other kids, he bit her. That is a perfectly reasonable reaction for a two year-old and nothing she should be segregated for. She's adorable, we want her, and besides the kitsune refuses to return to Naruto's body unless we keep her" – Kurama, currently sprawled out just inside Hinata's office, let out a growl too deep for its current size – "and we need her documentation now. Yes, we will be informing the Hokage, and will follow all legal procedures, but right now all we want is the minimum paperwork and to go home, preferably before your lunch break."

He looked at her haughtily.

Hinata put her hands on her face. "Look, I know you are both angry that she's restricted from contact with the other children. I also know that she is a nice little girl. I do. I don't want anything bad happening to her. But you guys have met her a couple of hours ago, you can't just decide to become fathers of a child that you just met."

"Why not? It's not like it's any different from having a baby, no one knows what kind of person their child is before it's born, and yet nobody tells parents to leave their kids in the hospital and wait until they're better acquainted."

"Naruto-kun, that's different."

"Yes, it is different; we already know she's kind, polite, and stronger than any other child her age. That is an advantage." Sasuke said, scowling again.

"Sasuke-kun, she's not even human. Can't you see she's safer here?" Hinata pleaded.

"Yes she is, she has chakra just like any of us, it's just that hers has a higher frequency than ours, beyond what we can see, so it looks invisible to the Byakugan and the Sharingan. But not to the Rinnegan. I examined her with it while you were talking inside, and saw it."

He had to hand it to Naruto, that was a brilliant and steel-proof lie. It solved all their immediate issues, at least until they could get Sakura on their side.

"Besides, Kabuto isn't completely human anymore, neither is Orochimaru, and Tsunade baa-chan accepted BOTH of them back even though they're criminals, ttebayo."

Hinata knew when she was cornered. She had to give it to them, the Rinnegan thing made sense. So did the references to Kabuto and Orochimaru, even though Orochimaru's jutsu had been sealed and Kabuto had been restricted from contact with anyone until his more blatant mutations had been removed. Which was a problem Ishoo didn't have; people just saw her as another regular orphan.

She made her last draw.

"Guys, I'll be honest with you. Ishoo-chan is really well-behaved for a two year-old, but even so she will be a handful. Children take most of the time from their parents, require more attention than almost anything, can be extremely annoying even when they are just being children, and basically demand any parent to make enormous sacrifices for them. I have learned all that in the short time I've been here, and I just take care of them here. Being a full-time parent can be overwhelming, and it is a lifetime commitment. No matter how angry, how tired, how exasperated you are, how much you miss your sleep, your free time, your routine, your freedom and your privacy, you cannot, ever, get rid of the responsibility. You have no way, really NO WAY OUT of being a parent and the only people responsible to how happy and balanced your child will be are YOU. Are you definitely sure you want this? And want this now? Please, please think about what YOU want before answering, not just what is best for her."

They both looked at each other and then at their feet, for a long time.

Naruto thought about the way he was as a young child, about all the trouble he caused, all the times the old lady who raised him until he was 7 years old had to apologize for his behavior, all the work she went through for him. He thought of washing potties, of having to clean up after a child had drawn all over the walls, of spending nights awake and worried, of having to argue and say no even if the child cried her head off. Of having to make time to spend with a child, even if he was tired, or hurt, or had better things to do. Of having to be really quiet with Sasuke. Of not being able to fistfight in the house anymore – well, Sasuke would probably love that, he was always complaining when they broke something – or not being able to just walk around nude if he wanted – that one would probably not go down so well with him.

He also thought of being again in front of the Academy and standing, this time, among the parents as the children were admitted. Of not being alone when Sasuke was away on a mission. Of little drawings of him and Sasuke stuck on the refrigerator. Of buying blue popsicles and having who to share with that wasn't Sasuke (who hated them). Most of all, he thought about the feeling he had when he saw Ishoo playing with the quarry lice, all alone, and how he himself felt when she was crying in Sasuke's hands, and had grabbed him to come near her, and had hugged him, had hugged them both, and only then calmed down and slept.

He had felt sadness when her energy outburst from earlier passed; but as he held her with Sasuke, he felt the energy return, subdued, warm, seeping from her and settling deep in his heart. It felt exactly the same as when he had sensed Sasuke's chakra at their final reunion to fight Madara, when they knew they were two sides of the same thing, the same energy.

He felt himself in her energy; but he also felt Sasuke in it, someway, and wondered if maybe in that battle almost a year ago there had been something, some kind of energy crash fallout that had mingled his and Sasuke's essence and produced this strange little child.

He smirked at that; she was older than the war. But it sure felt so, and he wasn't going to throw that away. Damn, he hadn't given up on Sasuke, and the son of a bitch had not only repeatedly told him to give up but tried to kill him, resorting to kicking the living shit out of him when that didn't work, and still frequently tried to reason with him using his fists, even though they were now respectably married and that every time they fought they had to replace half their furniture.

Even so, it took both of them to decide on this. He raised his head hoping like hell that Sasuke would be thinking along the same lines as he, and was relieved to see his teme hugging the sleeping little girl protectively and giving him a challenging glare.

Naruto found the mother hen stance incredibly amusing, especially coming from the former avenger, the terror of the five ninja nations, the man who killed Orochimaru, Danzou and his own brother without blinking his eye. He couldn't stop the giggles if his life depended on it.

"Hn" Sasuke snarled. Naruto moved and nuzzled his nose, sat back and gave Hinata a huge grin.

"So, as we were saying, we need her medical records, clothes, other urgent personal stuff and things, and a list of stuff we have to get before we get home, please."

* * *

"Ok, first thing, finding a baby supply shop. Hmmmm, we could ask Ayame, it's almost lunch time… raaaamen…"

"Mmmm… ohayo, Papa" Ishoo opened her eyes lazily and wiggled a little to rest her head better on his shoulder.

"Ohayo, baby. Naruto, remember what Hinata said about fatty foods before deciding to feed her crap."

"Hey, I eat at Ichiraku's since I was a baby, it's healthy!"

"Hn, yeah, like the idea of turning Ishoo into a dobe like you is going to make me feed her there. No thanks, one braindead moron in the family is enough."

"Hey, it's not as if ALL I eat comes from Ichiraku!"

Sasuke gave him a considering look. "True. Remind me of throwing out all that instant crap when we get home."

"Hey!"


	2. Chapter 2

Caring for a small child was supposed to be difficult, but in the first week they found Ishoo to be amazingly easy to cater for. Almost too easy.

The child was fiercely independent; the potty had been given to the orphanage, since Ishoo much preferred to use the 2-step ladder they kept in the house to use the toilet (which made Naruto very happy). She also hated frilly clothing, preferring t-shirts and shorts (which made them both happy, since that would mean no ironing). She also made a point with sleeping with one of the 9 beasts, for which Naruto was annoyed at first, until they explained it was not only a pleasure for them to watch over her at sleep, but also extremely convenient for the parents, since it allowed them their privacy. He then agreed wholeheartedly.

However, she hated wearing shoes with a passion, and no amount of reasoning, cajoling or threatening would keep them on her feet for more than five minutes outside, after which they always mysteriously disappeared. Socks were also out of question, even inside. They tried for three whole days, and gave up on the tenth pair.

She also never, ever ate spontaneously, or complained about hunger. They were warned about it by Hinata: the girl had her preferences (mostly fruit, root vegetables and flowers, specially cauliflower; she also enjoyed milk. On the other hand, much to Sasuke's relief, she hated most sweets), but never asked for food at all, and never ate much. Hinata told them that in the orphanage they'd feed her a little bit five times a day; she was concerned that she might have had some food poisoning issue that had affected her appetite, though her growth rate was unexpectedly high.

"Hmmm, no, that´s not it. Apparently, she hasn't developed her gastric bacteria well, yet. Which is weird, and why I'm here. It can be related to the lack of hunger, though."

Sakura was looking at Ishoo's lab results, and frowning.

"What do nasty bacteria have to do with being hungry? All it ever did was make me sick." Naruto asked, while getting them tea. Sakura had come to their apartment with the results.

"We need bacteria in our bodies for digestion, vitamin absorption, and immunity, baka. However, that is usually much better established by the second year of life than in her case. Which means she should stay clear of the hospital until hers develop better; there's nothing on the lab results showing it won't fix itself up, but it's safer she grows a respectable amount of good bacteria before she's exposed to more harmful germs."

"So what do we do, give her a medicine or something?"

"No, just let nature run its course. I see that she walks without shoes, that is actually good for her. Eating non-processed food and yogurt will speed up the process, too. Besides the chakra issue and that, she's perfectly healthy."

"What chakra issue?" Sasuke let Ishoo run in and throw herself with a delighted squeal on Naruto's lap, before closing the door.

"Hi, sweetheart. Did you tire Papa out today?" Naruto nuzzled her nose and picked her up.

She nodded. "Akamaru ran too, Tou-chan!"

She then bent over to kiss Sakura. "Sakura-chan!"

Sakura kissed her and closed the folder.

"The chakra issue is that since we can't see or sense her chakra, we can't use medical jutsu on her."

Naruto hugged ishoo close. Sasuke took a breath and pulled a chair near the couch.

"So… what now?" asked Sasuke.

"So, now, we work on getting her the best immunity possible, a good vitamin regimen, and see what happens. As of now, the only thing I can say is that she can't go around breaking her bones all the time like most ninja do, because her chakra frequency makes the chakra-based healing techniques we have useless, and possibly dangerous not only to her, but to the healer as well."

"Why would it harm a healer?" Ishoo asked to get to the floor, and Naruto reluctantly let her go while asking.

"Her chakra frequency is too high for any normal human tissue to withstand. Remember when you went Kyuubi before getting better related to Kurama? His chakra burned your tissues, the only reason you didn't get horribly hurt is that Kurama healed you quickly afterwards." Naruto nodded, and Sakura continued "Turns out that while you subdued and later reasoned with Kurama you two were actually synchronizing your chakra frequencies, so when you use his chakra now, or any of the beasts', your own chakra rises in frequency to meet his. The process of synchronization changed your cells so they can adapt to the modulation."

"Now, when it comes to Ishoo, her chakra's – if that is what it really is, and yes I'm looking at you, Sasuke – frequency is so high, it's impossible for our level of understanding how to control and module our own chakra to treat her without her frequency burning our pathways for good. A healer would certainly be unable to use jutsu, any jutsu, for the rest of their life, and possibly develop neural damage or, in an extreme case, er… death."

The men looked crestfallen.

"But then, of course, we have absolutely no idea of what, if any, jutsu habilities she'll develop. What we do know now is that she's strong enough to deal with any usual threat without getting seriously injured."

* * *

It was now the end of winter, and due to Sasuke's protective hysterics about colds and whatnot, and Ishoo's adamant refusal at wearing shoes, she hadn't gone outside for a month. The child's boredom was grating on her parent's nerves. Sasuke was trying to write a report on a week-long mission, while Naruto was out at the Hokage compound with no estimate time to be off.

'Damn sneaky unsupportive asshole' Sasuke thought as he heard Ishoo's persistent, monotonous knocking on the window. The kid had been at it for the last hour and a half.

"Ishoo-chan honey, can you stop making that noise, please? Papa is working."

"I want out, Papa."

"If you go out without shoes your feet will freeze and then you'll have no feet to run around with anymore."

"No shoes."

Sasuke combed his fingers through his hair and covered his face. They had gone through this before.

"No going out then."

Ishoo blew, whined and lied back on the table. Sasuke barely had the time to move paper and pen away.

"Papa… whatchoo doing?" she asked him, her expression miserable with boredom.

"I'm writing a report telling Tsunade-sama what I did last week while I was out working."

"Hn. What's writing?"

"Oh. Writing is talking to people through paper, honey."

Her eyes widened. "You put your mouth on the paper and give it to people?"

He laughed, that one was new.

"No, I draw symbols to form words, that's called writing; and then people see the symbols and because they know what they mean, they can understand what I said to them."

"Oooh." She turned her head and looked at his partially written scroll. "If I can do that I can tell you and Tou-chan things even when I'm not with you?"

"Yeah, that's the idea. And whatever you say when you write, you can keep with the paper, so it doesn't matter if you forget about it later, because you just have to get the paper and read it, it's stored there."

"Hn."

He smiled at that. Soon she'd be calling Naruto a dobe, too.

She turned around on the table and looked at him with her face in her hands.

"Teach me, dattebayo!"


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto tried to make as little noise as possible when getting inside the apartment. It was tiny with only one bedroom, and Ishoo slept in the living room's couch. He tiptoed to the bedroom.

Sasuke was sleeping on his side, hugging a pillow. Naruto quietly closed the door.

He hissed as Matatabi popped up, and shushed as it tried to scratch the door. He let the small beast out and closed the door again, sighing contentedly.

He pulled his clothes off and slid under the covers to tug at the pillow.

"Mhmmmmmhmmm"

Naruto nuzzled at Sasuke's neck, impressed at how fragile he still looked while sleeping alone. The only times he looked really relaxed, in actual deep sleep, were when Ishoo and him took a nap together, or when he was wrapping his arms and legs around Naruto.

"Dobe, I'm gonna start charging Tsunade overtime fees if you keep getting home this late." Sasuke whispered.

"I had a good reason for it today"

"Mmmmmmm?" Sasuke moaned sleepily while Naruto undressed him.

"I'll tell you in the morning. But now…"

He bent to kiss Sasuke softly, teasing his lips with his tongue until they opened for him, and ran a finger over his nipple, which hardened immediately.

"Yum"

"Yum my ass, your hands are freezing"

"As you wish"

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's ass, and was rewarded a muffled yelp.

"Shit Naruto, I'm not kidding, damn it." Sasuke pulled Naruto's hands up into his, massaging and huffing over the bluish fingertips. Naruto moaned and felt a shiver up his spine when his fingers were sucked on one by one until they were warm.

"Baka-yarou, you could've caught your death outside this late." Sasuke sat on the bed. "Feet. Now."

Naruto stretched to sit by the headstand and put his feet on Sasuke's lap.

"Damn usuratonkachi trying to die from frostbite and leave me with a kid to raise by myself"

"Yeah and then you'd be able to be Hokage like you said you wanted when we fought Madara" Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke pinched the back of his foot while still massaging his toes.

"Ouch"

"I was worried to death trying to get to you so you wouldn't go belly up trying to kill Madara and Obito by yourself, dumbass. What did you want me to tell everyone? 'Oh, now that I can see clearly for a change I'll go run and save my boyfriend, I can't let him die without letting him know I love him'?" Sasuke whispered, blushing heavily in the dark, saying the last in a very bad falsetto. "Catch me dead doing something so shameless in front of your father, of all people. Stop throwing that in my face."

"You had no problem calling him Giri no Chichi, asshole" Naruto snickered.

Sasuke bit his little toe and Naruto winced, hissing.

"Do not dare make fun of me because of that. I honorably earned your sorry ass in a respectable, virile way." He said, going back to sucking Naruto's toes.

The sight of the former bane of the 5 ninja nations blushing and sucking on his toes while massaging warmth on his feet was just too sexy to just watch, and Naruto started to stroke his nascent hard-on slowly.

Sasuke began to lick the tip of Naruto's big toe, teasing a bit, and going back to sucking it.

Naruto moaned and embraced Sasuke with his free leg, arching his back and motioning him closer. Sasuke then straddled his waist, lowering to kiss him deep. He wanted to punish Naruto for his cheekiness, but most of all he wanted him to swallow his tongue, and Naruto hungrily obliged him, both of them grinding now.

Sasuke reached under the pillows while licking Naruto's ear, and gave him a mouthful of cloth when he gasped as he nibbled the lobe.

"Shhhhhh"

Wih the dobe sufficiently gagged, Sasuke started assaulting him with his teeth and tongue, biting hard on his neck, sucking his pulse, licking from his neck to his shoulder. Naruto turned his face to watch his lover raise his arm and smell his arousal, rolling eyes in pleasure as he licked the sensitive skin. Sasuke then pulled a strip of cloth from under the pillow and tied his arms quickly.

"Hnnnnnnnnnnfffffffff mmphhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh, you saw it coming" Sasuke whispered.

Yes, he had. Ever since their third time in bed, Naruto had found that the more pissed off he made Sasuke, the better the sex, even more if he got the bastard embarrassed. He kept slowly winding his mate until, just once in a while, he'd get him over the edge. Never enough to get boring, never too sparsely to mistakenly hurt his feelings.

Sasuke bit his nipple hard, the sharp pain mixing with the pleasure building in Naruto's loins and driving him crazy. He tried the knot and Sasuke snarled low at him, pressing down on his cock with his own and locking his thighs hard around his hips.

"Hshhhhhhhhhh" Naruto grinned and shushed through the makeshift gag, drooling a bit. He knew the bonds were just for show, they couldn't risk too much with their daughter asleep in the next room. Coarse cotton was weak enough to snap if needed, while resistant enough to hold against him thrashing.

Sasuke scowled and scratched his sides, while continuing to mark him mercilessly with his teeth and grinding against him, now with his chest as he slid down. Naruto sucked his breath in so he could reach his lower rib easily, moaning, drool now starting to pool at the base of his neck.

Sasuke fit his teeth around the base of his rib, sucked hard and bit even harder, making his rival, partner, enemy, lover, and spouse buck under him. He was rock hard now, raising his own hips from the bed to prevent coming too soon and messing up all the fun. He sucked his way down the middle of Naruto's belly, planting a path of hickeys to his navel, which he plundered with his tongue and nibbled on. Naruto whimpered, his cock smashed up between him and Sasuke, painfully hard.

Sasuke smirked, got up from the bed and grabbed a small vial of almond oil, before straddling Naruto again to lap at the drool pooled at the junction of neck and chest while grinding even harder.

"Mmmphhhhhhh tmhhhhhhh….. 'm gnnn cmmmm… mmmphhhhh" Naruto moaned low, feeling tears come to his eyes.

Sasuke straightened up and reached behind him to pinch his cock. "Shhhhhh, not yet, usuratonkachi."

'Holy fuck… can't come yet… gotta work tomorrow… can't come yet…" Naruto thought and breathed slow and deep, knowing that if he came now, Sasuke would fuck his brains out until he was hard again AND mount him until he himself could come a second time. That would last until dawn, and he really needed at least a couple of hours of sleep before going back to bureaucratic slavery while Tsunade baa-chan spent the day gambling, damn oni-baba.

Sasuke untied his hands and removed the gag only to shove his cock in instead.

"Prepare-me, bitch." He hissed, dropping oil in Naruto's right hand while holding his left arm up against the headstand.

Naruto began coating Sasuke's butt-hole, massaging the entrance with his fingers, while dutifully sucking and licking the pre-cum off his cock.

When he felt the muscles relax and Sasuke open his legs wider, he slipped a finger in, and Sasuke stuck the cloth in his own mouth to suppress a loud moan.

Naruto watched that grinning around Sasuke's cock. He started to slowly circle his finger inside, reaching deeper and deeper until he hit jackpot and his mate almost broke his wrist in ecstasy. He massaged a little longer until the muscles were loose again, and added a second finger, repeating the inner movements and watching him wince in concentration while fucking his mouth.

He began scissoring him deep inside. Sasuke shuddered and took his cock out of Naruto's mouth, rubbing it with his free hand all over his face, eyes glazing over while he let go of Naruto's arm and took the cloth out of his own mouth.

"Enough" he breathed, and Naruto obediently, but slowly, removed his fingers out of him and braced his arms together over his head. Sasuke put the now drenched wad of cloth on his own mouth again and began working himself down Naruto's cock slowly.

Naruto rolled his eyes back and panted, arching his body with the maddening pressure, praying to any god that would listen not to move before Sasuke was ready or to come before he did, as his lover took him inch by maddening inch, rolling his hips around his shaft.

"Mmmmmmmmphhhhhhhhhhhhh" Sasuke moaned and leaned back as he finished his descent, Naruto's cock striking his prostate dead on. He breathed out and began to move, slowy at first, leaning forward to rise and back to sink against Naruto's groin, supporting himself on Naruto's thighs.

Naruto went dizzy as soon as Sasuke began speeding up, not daring to move; watching Sasuke riding his cock like that and feeling him milking him hard with the movements was driving him crazy with sensory overload.

"Mmmmmmmmphhhhhhh… mmmmmmmphhhhhh… mmmmmmmphhhhhhhh" Now it was Sasuke's drool slipping down his chest from the makeshift gag. He quickened the pace.

"Now?" Naruto whispered softly.

"Mhmmm… mmmph…" Sasuke nodded firmly once, concentrated on his movements. Naruto stretched his arms, starting to stroke Sasuke's cock quickly, while spreading the slipping drool on his belly and chest with the other.

"Mmmmmmmmmmphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, mmmmmmmmphhhhh, mmmmphhhhhhh" Sasuke panted, humping him so hard Naruto hazily wondered if his cock could break from sheer pressure, his lover savagely leaning back and impaling himself while Naruto held onto his hips for dear life, digging his nails in his flesh.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sasuke sunk down as he came, and Naruto could not hope to hold back as he felt his cock being mercilessly caught in the undulating vice of Sasuke's orgasm. He held his breath and bit his lip hard as he also came, whimpering as low as he could.

Sasuke slowly rose and fell a few times, his breath slowing down, before he finally rose up and collapsed on top of Naruto, who delicately took the cloth out of his mouth and tossed it under the bed so they could be sure no curious small hands could find it before they washed it, and kissed his forehead lovingly.

"This" Sasuke whispered, still breathless "Was so you don't forget what happens when you vex me, dobe."

Naruto snickered under his breath and pulled his husband's chin up for a deep, but tender, kiss.

"Oh, I won't forget it so easily, dattebayo." He hugged him contently.

"Hn. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

* * *

The alarm clock rang at 6 am.

"Mmmmmm… 5 more minutes…" Naruto stretched his hand to smack at the snooze button, and slipped back into Sasuke's deliciously warm embrace.

He woke up again a few minutes later to the sound of a something thumping at the door, desperately meowling.

"Shhhhhh… come back here, shower's running, it's all right…" Sasuke mumbled sleepily as he tried to get up.

He giggled as he heard his daughter scowling the blue cat for not wanting to shower.

"Matatabi-chan, come here, you're gonna get Tou-chan all dirty inside! Come bathe with me!"

He started laughing loudly, all woken up now, and Sasuke snickered softly, rubbing his eyes.

Naruto got up from the bed and slipped his boxers and a t-shirt on before opening the door. Immediately the blue cat jumped on his stomach and disappeared.

"Ohayo, Ishoo-chan!" He said, picking her up and kissing her cheek.

"Ohayo, Tou-chan! Sorry, Matatabi-chan doesn't like water." She pouted.

"Yeah, but I do, dattebayo! Go kiss Papa before shower, I'll help you with your pajamas." He ruffled her hair and let her down, shuffling to the bathroom with a yawn and a scratch to his butt as she threw herself on the bed.

"Ohayo, Papa! Wake up sleepy head!" She crawled on top of Sasuke, who lied on his back with his arm over his eyes.

"Hmmmmm… let Papa sleep just a little bit…"

She leaned on his face, moved his arm and pulled his eyelids open.

"Ouch! That hurts!"

"Teach me more words today, Papa?" She whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" He whispered back, all hope of getting more sleep gone.

"I want to make Tou-chan a surprise, shhhhhhhhhh" She whispered back, putting a finger over her lips as she shushed, then kissed his nose and hugged him.

He smiled and hugged her back, nodding.

"Ishoo-chan, are you ready for bath?" Naruto called from the bathroom. She let go of his neck and jumped up on his belly, making him wince a bit. "Coming, Tou-chan!"

She crawled out of bed and ran to the bathroom, leaving Sasuke to muse how much his life had changed. It was little more than two years after his brother's death (who he had paid his honors to at the Konoha graveyard, where they had buried his remains after Kabuto had led them to the place he had kept the body, with Naruto and Sakura at his side. He had built a little shrine to his and Naruto's family in the apartment, and there he presented his daughter to the ancestors; they had tried taking Ishoo-chan to his brother's burial, but she had been suddenly and frighteningly sick at the graveyard's entrance, falling down on her knees and holding her stomach while throwing up so much that they had asked Sakura to take her away, after Tsunade had resorted to summoning Katsuyu, and the slug told them that the place's energy disagreed with Ishoo's.), and if he were to go back there and tell his former self that he would not only make peace with his brother, but with himself and Konoha as well, let alone drop his pride and dreams of grandeur, marry Naruto and become a parent to a child which, even though not of his blood, loved him fiercely and was not only behaving, but even looking more like him and Naruto every day, he knew he'd be slaughtered on the spot for saying so much nonsense.

He sighed contentedly, hearing the laughter of his family in the bathroom. Soon Ishoo-chan would chase Naruto around the house with a comb in her hands, and he'd jump on the bed trying to hide under the covers while she and Sasuke giggled themselves silly, Sasuke holding a struggling and yelping Naruto while she attempted to make his stubborn hair presentable.

He had never been happier in his life.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I have news for you. We're going to move out in a week, to a real house, ttebayo!" Naruto announced at the breakfast table.

Sasuke let his mouth hang, halfway into cutting a pear in half to share with Ishoo, whose eyes were large and round with surprise.

"I went with Tsunade baa-chan to the capital city yesterday and turns out my family's estate had some money left in a savings account after I started paying for my own bills as a genin, and Tsunade baa-chan made the Council agree to instate you as a Jounin, with effects retroacting to the first mission you did after the war was over. The back pay and my left over money are just enough for down payment, and the money we saved is just enough to buy the stuff we need to furnish the house, dattebayo!" He grinned smugly.

"A house? Tou-chan, a real house? With a garden? And trees?" Ishoo said, dreamily.

Sasuke didn't know what to say. The Uchiha estate had been confiscated to pay for the village's reconstruction, as a penalty for his involvement with Akatsuki, and he had been acutely embarrassed for earning only Genin wages from his missions, even though most of them were A-rank or higher.

He had always hated feeling like a burden to anyone, so he had taken to grab all the missions he could to help make ends meet. He knew Naruto had been saving money for emergencies ever since Ishoo's sick spell at the burial, and that had gnawed at his pride ever since. He sighed, feeling much lighter and a little dizzy. Good pay! A real house!

"You bet, and a sleeping room just for you, and a place for a proper garden shrine, and even a small dojo! The house is near the Inuzuka clan's place, so it's going to be a longer walk to get to the Hokage compound, but Tsunade baa-chan said that since we have a kid now we have to move closer to the other families and children so Ishoo-chan can make friends." Naruto was hugging the back of his head now.

Ishoo gasped and widened her eyes even more. "I'm gonna get to play with Ashi-kun?"

Ashi was Kiba's nephew, the first child in Konoha to befriend their daughter, and the two were thick as thieves.

"Yeah, and with Motoyo-chan too, so you can play and train and go to school together!" Motoyo was Asuma and Kurenai's little girl, half a year younger than Ishoo-chan, but as fierce and smart as her parents.

"Haaaaaaaaaaa! Arigato, Tou-chan!" Ishoo yelled and jumped from her chair to his lap, hugging and kissing him.

Sasuke was still stunned when Naruto pulled him close. He nuzzled Naruto's neck, and then raised his head to kiss him, hugging his family close.

"Told you I had a good reason for getting late" Naruto whispered at his ear. Sasuke shivered in pleasure remembering the previous night, and smiled softly. Naruto licked his ear playfully and went back to chatting with their daughter, who was jumping up and down on his lap, making plans.

* * *

The place was smaller than Sasuke's childhood home, but it was cozy, and Kiba pointed out that its position on the crest of a low slope was great for safety. The garden wasn't formed yet, but it had a nice pine in the front yard, and a few fruit trees in the back, around which Ashi and Ishoo were running around excitedly, the little girl having agreed on wearing socks and sandals, her parents' condition to take her to see the house.

They walked around the rooms, marveling at the very large (for their current standards) living room with attached open kitchen, and noting on the tatami floor in the main bedroom.

"The builders put a thick paper lining under the tatami to keep out the cold; we can even use a futon bed here." Naruto commented.

Sasuke closed his eyes and smelled the scent of fresh tatami. Standard ninja apartments came either with cheap linoleum floors, like Naruto's old place and their current home, or carpeting, as was in the more luxurious unit he occupied as a Genin before leaving Konoha. Tatami brought memories of his baa-chan, of sitting with his family in the common room, of Itachi helping him out with his lessons. He felt it was right. The house, though brand new, smelled like family and childhood.

He surveyed the closet, built with bamboo-grated sliding doors, to keep mold out of the clothes in the rainy season, and the shoji leading to the small terrace around the house. He could see a wide angle of the garden, and the side of the small dojo behind the house, separated by a few stone steps. The room was big enough for a nice futon bed, and a decent desk for them to do paperwork.

"We can watch the kids playing while we work, too." He mentioned.

"Yeah, you should see the look on Tsunade baa-chan's face when she brought me to see this place, she said the same thing." Naruto made a face, remembering her sly smile when she mentioned he could even work from home now. He massaged his wrist, trying to stop thinking of hours spent stamping papers.

They continued their house tour. There was a smaller room just opposite theirs. "Great for Ishoo-chan", Sasuke said, and Naruto agreed. There was even a Sakura tree right outside it.

The last two rooms were a rather obvious library, with built in shelving everywhere, 'Tsunade's orders for the next Hokage, probably' Sasuke thought, not minding much, since Naruto working at home really was quite convenient for them; across the hall was a nice bathroom, with a large tub and adjacent shower.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm I can't believe it, ttebayo, we get to soak at home!" Naruto whispered, grinning.

They opened the door at the end of the hall and stepped out into the garden. The children were clumsily "sparring" in the snow, under Akamaru's watchful eyes.

Kiba went on to open the dojo, but Sasuke held Naruto back a bit, hugging him from behind.

"She looks like you, dobe" He said, kissing him in the neck, as Ishoo burst red faced out of a snowbank, hauling snowballs at Ashi until the boy fell down, breathless with laughter.

"Only when playing rough, though. She looks more like you when she's paying attention to stuff, bastard." Naruto replied in an affectionate tone, and tugged at his hand. "Let's go see the dojo before Kiba decides to move there, it's the only part I already finished for us."

Sasuke looked at him questioningly, and followed.

"Whoa! Who decorated this place, Rock Lee?" Kiba exclaimed, slipping off his sandals and coming inside.

The place wasn't very large, but it was still about twice the size of their living room. Weapon racks adorned the walls on the back wall and a large tatami was set for practice. The wall facing the garden had a large shoji that let plenty of light in.

The opposite wall had two lines of hooks running from almost floor level almost to the low roof, and there were a couple of ropes hanging down from two beams that crossed the structure from one side to the other. Besides that was a towel rack.

Near the small back door they had used to go inside an exercise iron bar was set between two large posts, and in the corner were a sink and a small cabinet with different sized cubed metal weights, each with a string tied to one of its sides, and a box for kunai and shuriken on top. A large round target hung on the wall right behind the bar.

"Gotta find a way to keep something in my body sharp besides my wrist while Baa-chan makes me take out her huge backlog, heh." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head.

Sasuke went to the middle of the room and took in all the details, while his dobe watched him.

'Don't blush in front of Kiba… holy crap, hooks AND complementary ropes, the shameless slut… oh fuck, do NOT get hard in front of Kiba!'

Only the weapon racks hadn't been built with second intentions in mind, and Sasuke wasn't even sure about that. He could only imagine what sort of "training supplies" was inside that cabinet. He felt a shiver run up his neck and hoped like hell nobody noticed.

"Well, what do you think?" Naruto asked him with a lecherous grin.

Sasuke coughed. "It's… adequate." He followed Kiba out the door, turning back to glare murder when the dobe grabbed his ass on the way out.

Two days later they gratefully dropped Ishoo off at the Inuzuka home.

"Thank you so much for taking care of her, Tsume-san." Naruto bowed to the matriarch while Sasuke took Ishoo's pack inside.

"Don't mention it, it's no good to have a small child around on moving day, they tend to get more lost than dogs." She laughed. "Besides, Ashi-kun loves playing with her, and whatever makes my grandson happy, makes me happy."

The kids were already neck-deep in tail wagging wolves, laughing themselves silly with the nuzzling and the licking from the happy canines.

"Tsume-san" Sasuke came out and bowed.

"No need to bow, boys. Now go do your male work, we'll see you tomorrow." She smiled and waved them away. They called at Ishoo, who blew kisses and waved goodbye absentmindedly, completely engrossed in the play, and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Eight hours, various trips to town to buy missing tools, supplies or to pick up something they had forgot at the old apartment, and many heated arguments about assembly manuals later…

"Ooooohhhhhh my back…" Naruto winced as he slipped inside the steaming tub.

"Your back? My thumb! Trust a dobe not to know how to wield a simple hammer…" Sasuke raised the offended appendage out of the hot water.

"I'm a ninja, not a carpenter, asshole." Naruto mumbled. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I never want to move house again as long as I live… thank gods for the Kage Bunshin, ttebayo!"

They soaked in silence for some time.

Naruto sighed and pulled Sasuke to his lap.

"Lemme see that thumb."

Sasuke raised his hand and Naruto started sucking on the maimed finger.

"Mmmmmm…" Sasuke closed his eyes and relaxed on the hot water.

"Better?" Naruto asked and continued sucking.

"Mmmmhmmmmmm…"

The dobe slid his other hand down his chest and held him closer.

"Don't sleep on me, teme."

"I'm not sleeping; I'm resting my eyes for a minute."

Naruto snickered, let go of his thumb and started kissing the back of his neck, earning a sigh. He kissed around and started nibbling on an ear, massaging his lover's shoulders. He earned a moan.

Feeling encouraged, he buried his nose on Sasuke's hair, as his hands wandered down and found his nipples.

"You know what I just noticed?" He whispered.

"Hmmmm?" Sasuke asked, squirming with his ass to grind against the half-hard cock behind him.

"Our baby is having a sleepover in probably the safest clan home in town and we're all alone tonight…" Naruto sucked on his shoulder.

Soon after, they were collapsed on the futon, hair still dripping wet and taking turns sucking each other's tongues.

Sasuke broke the kiss. "Dobe…" he whispered. Naruto grumbled against his neck in response.

"Kage Bunshin."

Naruto felt heat spread all over his body.

"Mine or yours?" Naruto sat down.

"Yours. In the dojo. Move. I need to report for a mission tomorrow." Sasuke gave him a predatory smirk.

Naruto winced at that, but moved anyway.

* * *

Just as Sasuke's angry, embarrassment-fueled attacks at him were Naruto's favorite sex, Kage Bunshin play was Sasuke's. Naruto was for some reason insanely jealous of his clones, and would plunder him for all he was worth after the clone was dismissed. More than that, he'd do it after feeling every single thing the clone had gone through, but without having had it done to him, which fueled his jealousy even more and made his passion twice as ruthless. Not to mention that the fact it was a clone made Sasuke guilt free from doing things he'd never even consider doing to anyone, let alone his beloved original.

As to what happened when they used Sasuke's shadow clones…

Sometimes Naruto wondered what Jiraya would think if he knew the sort of utterly lecherous, filthy pervert his disciple had married. He'd probably say he had seen it coming; the man had actually tried to kill him enough times.

He followed a very uncharacteristically giddy Sasuke into the dojo, wondering what the man had on his mind. They hadn't done this kind of thing ever since becoming parents, time, enough private space and the necessity of being extremely quiet preventing it, and he was sure his teme missed it a lot.

Sasuke tested the exercise bar's strength. He hung on it and turned upside down, slipping his legs over and hanging by his hands and knees. He thrashed around a bit, feeling for any indication that the bar might give under Naruto's heavier frame. Unsure, he dropped down and repeated the process, holding some weights. Satisfied, he dropped from the bar with a grunt, as Naruto watched, increasingly alarmed.

He opened the cabinet and whistled, selecting a few pieces of heavy leather woven string, a large vial of oil and a piece of wide rope.

He let a slow, self-satisfied smirk form on his face as he beckoned his blond dobe.

"Robe off, summon clone, on the bar the same way I was."

"Upside down? What if I get sick?" Naruto was shaking a bit now, looking at him with a deer under headlights look.

"Hn." Sasuke kicked a small bucket under the bar, and raised an eyebrow, still smirking.

Naruto sighed, took off his robe and made the clone, who shrugged apologetically at him while he hung himself upside down the bar. Sasuke expertly tied up his ankles to his wrists with the leather string, positioned the bucket under his head and walked to the tatami dragging the clone behind him.

He stood, fully hard, with his back to the wall between the two columns of hooks, and tied the sheepish-looking clone's hands, one on each side of himself. "Suck me."

The clone looked sideways at Naruto before he kneeled down, half hard himself, and took Sasuke's cock into his mouth.

Naruto watched, feeling the deep, irrational jealous anger start boiling inside, along with his lust at seeing Sasuke getting head. He stirred in his bonds as the clone lovingly licked, sucked and nipped, looking up at his teme in adoration. He whimpered as Sasuke arched his back and threw his head back, grabbing the clone's hair and wantonly fucking his mouth, and started thrashing against his bonds when he saw his lover play at his clone's hard, wet cock with one of his feet.

Sasuke looked at him with fire in his eyes and smiled, opening his legs so the clone could lap with his tongue under his balls. Naruto glared murder at him, hearing his clone moaning and seeing him drool around his teme's cock, his own rock hard erection pulling enough blood out of his brain to prevent dizziness from being upside down.

After a few grueling minutes of this, Sasuke pulled the clone to a standing position and whispered something in his ear, before pulling him close and kissing deeply. He slipped under the clone's left arm and came close to Naruto; close enough that the blonde's cock was almost brushing his face.

"Enjoying the show?" He said, with an evil glint in his eyes. Naruto tried to move his head and grab his cock in his mouth, and got a slap on the butt.

"Naughty bitch." Sasuke purred playfully, putting Naruto's head between his thighs and pressing it until he felt the dobe still his body. He slipped a rubber band on his erection, licked and sucked on it until he heard a wail from between his thighs. Satisfied, he kissed it and went back to the clone, smiling at Naruto's angry cursing.

He pulled the trembling clone down on his knees and away from the wall until his arms were hanging from the hooks, pushed his head down and separated his legs far enough so the clone was precariously balanced and his ass was sticking up in the air. He grabbed the oil vial and coated his right hand with it as Naruto howled.

"Teme I'm gonna get your for this! Let me down!" Naruto screamed. 'It should be ME in there, gods damn it', he thought, but did not say. He growled menacingly at his clone instead, who was moaning wantonly as Sasuke stretched his ass and rubbed at his cock slowly.

The clone yelled in pleasure as Sasuke slid his cock in, and the bastard trembled, feeling the tight constriction. He started moving slowly, looking straight at Naruto as he pulled back and shoved himself to the hilt in his clone's ass.

"So tight, Naruto…" he moaned, looking at Naruto devilishly as he thrashed furiously. His clone turned to look at him, and also smiled, closing his eyes and gasping as Sasuke increased the pace.

"Sasuke… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh… fuck me… harder…" the clone tried to thrust back, whimpering, but his restraints held well. Sasuke slapped his ass, but obligingly got up and crouched, thrusting back in even deeper and faster.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… fuck, so good…" Sasuke panted, licking his lips as he saw Naruto roar in blue-balled rage, thrashing desperately against the bonds. He was too close now, the pleasure he was getting from seeing Naruto's rage almost as good as fucking his clone senseless. He felt his gut clench.

"Don't you fucking come in him, you filthy bastard!" Naruto snarled, sending Sasuke over the edge.

"Too late, dobe…" He purred, and screamed as he pushed inside the clone, coming hard, making the clone cry out in pleasure. He breathed and thrust in a couple of times before quickly withdrawing and pinching the clone's weeping cock.

"I'm not done with you yet."

'Not done yet? What the fuck does he want to do, turn my balls into lead?' Naruto thought. "Stop playing and get me the fuck out of here, you son of a bitch!" He yelled.

Sasuke only gave him another evil giggle, kneeling behind the clone again. He dropped more oil on his hand, coating it generously halfway his arm. He shoved three fingers up the clone's ass, biting his lower lip as the clone gasped and thrust back, and started scissoring with all three fingers.

Naruto watched, cursing, thrashing and with ever wider eyes as Sasuke inserted a fourth finger, thrust some more, and then folded his thumb against his palm. Sasuke looked at him with a sultry look before slowly inserting his whole hand into the clone's rectum.

The clone screamed in pain and pleasure at the same time Naruto roared in rage and want again. Sasuke let his hand rest inside the clone and reached for his cock, stroking it slowly until the clone relaxed his inner muscles.

"Whuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh… ahhhhhhhhhhhh… move… move… please… Sasukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" the clone begged, cross-eyed and drooling with pleasure. Sasuke started pumping him with one hand and thrusting the other in him at the same time, going deeper and deeper, watching Naruto growl and thrash in the iron bar, drool flying everywhere. Soon he was up to half his lower arm and the clone was hanging limp by his arms, making incoherent noises and shuddering with pleasure at every thrust. Sasuke decided Naruto had enough, and started rotating his wrist inside the clone, making it scream and buck. He quickened his strokes and soon the clone exploded in a roaring orgasm and puffed out of existence, earning him the view of an uncontrollably howling, thrashing, foaming, red-eyed Naruto.

Naruto was completely unhinged, his irrational anger and jealously of the clone heightened a thousand fold by its memories and feelings as they flooded him. He howled, growled and snapped as Sasuke got up, fully hard again, and calmly washed and dried himself, then doused himself with oil in preparation for the inevitable payback.

"See if you can keep that smug face when I'm through with you, bastard!" Naruto growled, as Sasuke grabbed a kunai and approached his back. He cut through the leather bonds and Naruto fell face first on the floor, jumping up and turning for him with a ferocious grin. He snapped the rubber band and his precum flowed freely.

"MINE!" He rumbled deeply, pulling Sasuke into a rough, toothy kiss, before throwing him over his shoulder and almost knocking the doors out of their hinges as he made the way back into their bedroom. He threw Sasuke on the futon on his hands and knees and buried himself in him in one deep, swift thrust.

"Ah Naruto, yes!" Sasuke screamed, as his enraged lover pumped hard into him, all care and sense forgotten. His nails dug into his skin, on his right hip and his left shoulder. His arms wavered and he fell on his face as he came hard on the bedding, shuddering and milking Naruto's cock inside him.

Naruto growled as he came, pulling him back and biting on the back of his neck. He then pulled off and turned Sasuke around on his back, still rock hard; he shoved his cock back in Sasuke's ass, raising his lover's legs over his shouders, and started pumping again, just as hard.

"Fuck, haaaa... yes… aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh fuck me!" It was Sasuke's turn to drool and moan, scratching at Naruto's back and pulling his face down for deep kisses. He could feel his jaws getting sore from sucking Naruto's tongue so hard, but he could not care less, crazy Naruto was a rare delicacy and he wanted to gorge himself on it.

"Tell me who you belong to" Naruto grumbled, grabbing his cock and stroking it roughly.

Sasuke yelled in pleasure. Naruto pulled his hips up with one hand and plundered even deeper, reaching inhuman speed.

"Tell me!" Naruto snarled, pounding into him harder and stroking even faster.

"I'M YOURS! FUCK, NARUTO, I'M YOURS, BAKA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Sasuke screamed his head off as he came yet again, and felt Naruto release inside him a second time, filling his guts and roaring his victory.

A few more thrusts and Naruto let him slide back down in the futon. He licked the mess on his belly and chest, and lied beside him on his own stomach, covering him possessively with his right arm and leg, panting.

"Don't you fucking forget it, dattebayo.", he snarled, before collapsing into sleep. Sasuke knew he would get all sorts of funny looks next morning from his limping, but he didn't care in the least. 'Totally worth it' he thought, as he fell asleep, still shuddering with waves of pleasure.

* * *

Sasuke had entered the Godaime's office in a bad mood.

"Don't forget to cook at lunchtime, dobe." He had warned Naruto in the morning.

"Meh, don't worry about it, if I forget we'll have lunch at Ichiraku's, dattebayo!" The moron answered him distractedly while eating toast. Sasuke punched his head for good measure.

"Ouch, asshole! Ayame's child menu is healthy!"

"That was for you, so you don't stuff yourself and turn into a fart machine afterwards." Sasuke smirked at him and looked into the refrigerator. "Don't forget to get umeboshi, we're running out already."

And that was exactly why he was in a bad mood; Naruto hated umeboshi and he was sure his dobe would "forget" all about it; being horrible at grocery shopping as he was, he'd probably bring 10 boxes of that horrid chestnut jelly he and Tsunade loved so much. Urgh.

The Hokage was currently reading a report. Her table was incredibly devoid of huge piles of paperwork, which currently sat on their library at home, much to Naruto's dismay. The boxes had arrived as soon as they had started to put their furniture together yesterday.

"Ohayo, Tsunade-sama. What do you have for me today?" He asked.

"Hn. I have an extremely important mission for you; you'll be going with Shizune and Kiba to Tanigakure pick up a shipment of extremely rare and FRAGILE consumables, and escort a very important person with business here on your way back. You should leave now and come back at sundown today, no later." Tsunade smiled as she uttered the last phrase.

* * *

Naruto read the shopping list again while walking to the Inuzuka compound.

"Milk, fruit, chard leaves *yuck*, cauliflower, beets, radishes, tomatoes… where the hell am I supposed to find tomatoes in the middle of winter? Bamboo shoots, mackerel *yuck*, four jars of umeboshi, double yuck, dattebayo…"

"Yo Naruto!", greeted Kiba.

"Ohayo! Has Ishoo-chan been too much trouble?" Naruto asked, seeing Kiba's troubled face.

"Uh. No. Er. But." The dog master looked at him sheepishly.

"Kiba! What happened to my baby?" Naruto felt ice forming in his gut.

"Er… the kids decided to wake up early and play hide and seek… and… wait!" Kiba raised his hands in defense as Naruto marched towards him with his fists ready. "We just haven't found her yet!"

Naruto stopped on his tracks. "Kiba, how can you lose A WHOLE CHILD in the INUZUKA home?" He growled and stomped into the gardens.

"We tried everything, but we just can't find her scent anywhere, but since NO ONE has breached the compound she must still be here!" Kiba pleaded.

Naruto went in the middle of the commotion caused by various family members, dogs and wolves searching, feeling desperate.

"Ishoo-chan!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Shizune and Sasuke waited at the gates.

"Strange, Kiba isn't usually late for missions." Shizune said.

"Naruto went to his house to pick Ishoo-chan up this morning, he's probably holding Kiba back. Should be here soon, though, he's got errands of his own." Sasuke mused. Trust his dobe to chat and make people lose time.

* * *

At his wit's end after 10 minutes of futile search, Naruto decided to enter Sage mode to run around the compound faster. He forcibly composed himself, attuned his chakra and opened his eyes.

Ishoo was sitting on top of a barrel in the middle of the courtyard, laughing her ass off.

He grabbed her up and hugged her close, too relieved to pay attention to the sudden silence around them.

"Ohayo, Tou-chan!" Ishoo hugged him back and kissed his cheek. "You looked funny!" She said and laughed again.

Kiba's mother put her hand on his shoulder.

"Kiba, go to your mission before Godaime-sama makes a coat out of your hide. Naruto, you should come inside. We have to talk."

Naruto turned, his face lathered with tears of relief, and followed her inside.

* * *

Sasuke met Kiba halfway between the dog master's house and the village's gates.

"What happened to my family?" He snarled, Rinnegan activated.

"Nothing, Uchiha. Let's go and get our work done." Kiba never called Sasuke "Uchiha" nowadays unless he felt the man was being obnoxious for no reason, so Sasuke forced himself to calm down.

"Everything fine then?" He asked anyway.

"Yeah, Naruto is talking to my mother, we chatted a bit and I lost track of time, that's all". Kiba knew better than to lie to Sasuke, but the half-truth was harmless enough, and he didn't want Sasuke fucking-Uchiha's homicidal rage upon him.

"Hn." Sasuke measured Kiba's chakra. The man was not lying, so he decided to let matters lie until he got home and punched Naruto for delaying his mission.


	5. Chapter 5

Tsume-san and Naruto sat in the couch, and the matriarch asked for tea.

"Tou-chan, are you ok? Why are you crying?" Ishoo asked, cleaning the tears on his face.

"Ishoo-chan, where did you hide when you were playing?" Tsume-san asked tactfully.

"I hid in the closet under the stairs" The little girl answered.

"How did you end up where your Oto-san found you?" Tsume ruffled her hair. "It was very clever!"

"I was in the closet and I was really, really quiet, and when nobody found me I got out and it was funny to see everyone running and looking, but Ashi-kun told me they had to touch me and say they found me if they did, so when they didn't I sat on the barrel and waited." She said, and frowned. "Tou-chan is that why you're crying? I thought you were playing too, gomen-dasai!" She took his face in his hands and kissed him again.

"Gomen-dasai Tou-chan! I promise I won't make you cry again!" She had tears on her eyes.

Naruto hugged and kissed her, short for words. He had been so terrified, so desperate.

He nuzzled her tiny nose and smiled. "It's all right, ttebayo! I found you, didn't I?"

Ishoo smiled and wiped her own tears.

"Ishoo-chan, why don't you go in the kitchen and eat something before you go home? We have umeboshi oniguiri." Tsume-san said with a smile and a wink. Ishoo jumped up with a hungry grin and ran to the kitchen. It was her favorite food.

"Naruto, it's time she went to the Academy." Tsume-san said gravely, handing Naruto a tissue.

"But…" He started, taking the tissue thankfully.

"No buts. I'm a mother, and I know how much it hurts to send our puppies to school so early, but she's not the first to enroll at such a young age, and the teachers' tutelage will help her understand when and how to best use her jutsu… if that's what it was." She said firmly.

"Hai."

* * *

They came across Sakura and Rock Lee on the way, a few minutes after setting off. After hailing and chatting for a bit, they set off again on a brisk pace.

"Guys, is it me or Sakura-chan was walking a lot closer to Rock Lee than she usually does?" asked Shizune, in lieu of conversation.

"Walking closer? Hn, I don't think that was all she did with Lee on this mission…" Sasuke answered with a smirk. "Am I right Kiba?"

The dog master nodded and almost fell down Akamaru laughing.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shizune asked, feigning innocence.

"Apparently our married friend knows something about women even though he chained himself to another guy" Kiba guffawed.

"I had a lot of experience with all the silly looks girls used to give me, that's all." Sasuke grumbled, blushing.

"Yeah, right, sorry to break your bubble, but Sakura's scent was a lot different now than what it was when she was around you!" Kiba said and expertly dodged the shuriken Sasuke tossed his way, still laughing.

* * *

Sakura and Rock Lee were almost at the village when she suddenly grabbed his jacket and dragged him to a nearby stream with one hand.

"Oi, oi, Sakura-chan! Be careful, I almost dropped my load!" He complained, balancing the bags he was carrying.

She hung her own bags up in a low branch, doing the same with his.

"We should bathe before we deliver these." She said, approaching him and blushing.

"Bathe? But the water is going to be cold, we could take a shower in an hour…"

She pinched his nose and started undressing him. "After the looks those three perverts gave us I would like to bathe right NOW, please."

"Uh? Oh? Oooohhhh…" He blushed beet-red when realization finally hit him. "Sa-Sakura-chan, are you embarrassed of… well… you and me?"

Sakura stopped fumbling with his belt and looked at him, blushing brightly.

"No, Lee… I'm definitely NOT embarrassed of us. It's just that I'd like to be able to TELL people we're together, instead of having them smell it on us!" She laughed, and shivered when he bent down to kiss her.

'So intense…' she thought. It had been TOO intense for her, when she was still a dumb, naïve girl, but all that had changed in the last three months, when she was assigned to give him his physical exam.

She could still remember her inner-Sakura all but GLOATING at how well-developed Lee's body had become, now that he was twenty years old. He had grown out of his teenaged thin body, growing all the right muscles in all the right places. If in adolescence she thought Sasuke was gorgeous, as an adult the heady masculinity of Lee's body called to her feminine instincts in a way Sasuke never had. Sasuke was still beautiful as a man, Naruto had grown up to look like a savage, wild version of his father and so was also extremely good-looking, but of all the men in Konoha only Lee had such a shameless male presence.

She had grown to be a firm supporter of green leotards and bowl-shaped haircuts since making the decision of taking this anatomically perfect present to womanhood from the gods for herself alone, before the other women realized what was under his horrible fashion sense.

At first she had been afraid he'd turn out to be just like Sasuke and Naruto, what with spandex leotards and all, but on one mission to a nearby village to help build a pharmacy she had managed to be alone with him and found out that he not only was strictly into women, but all the stamina and vicious one-mindedness Guy had grown in him had quite a different use from training. The man treated sex the same way he treated taijutsu, something to be utterly mastered and trained to perfection, no matter how long or how much effort it took.

She started taking yoga classes right after that.

* * *

Naruto called Ishoo to the living room after putting the groceries away.

He took her in his arms when she came running, and lifted her up.

"Ishoo-chan, how would you like to start training like me and Papa trained when we were kids?"

Ishoo's eyes widened hugely. "Now?"

"Hai" He grinned at her.

"Uh, not TODAY now, but very soon. Would you like that?" He said.

She grinned ear to ear and hugged him.

"Hai Tou-chan! Yay!"

He let her down.

"I'm going to call a friend for you to meet, watch this" he grinned. He bit on his finger.

"Kuchiose-no-Jutsu!"

Shima appeared in a puff, wearing an apron and holding a wooden spoon, which she promptly used to bonk Naruto.

"Naruto! Don't you know it's almost lunch time?"

"Ouch… sorry, Sennin baa-chan, I wanted to do this at a better time, but we need your help."

Shima looked around and took a good look at Naruto, then Ishoo, who was crouched next to him and blinking at her, and glared at Naruto, fuming.

Naruto realized he was at his new home, with his daughter, whom he had not introduced to the toads yet. He gave an apologetic smile.

"Um, Sennin Baa-chan, this is my daughter Ishoo. Ishoo-chan, this is Shima-sama, Mother of the Toad Ways."

Ishoo bowed to her, and Shima nodded back. She then turned to Naruto, fuming.

"You give me a great-granddaughter and introduce me to her like THIS? Baka! Baka! Baka!" she yelled at Naruto, beating him up with the wooden spoon.

"Gomen-dasai, Sennin Baa-chan, ouch! Please stop! Ouch! We need your help!"

"Hmph." She stopped and took a good look at Ishoo, entered sage-mode and stared at the little girl, who started blushing and fidgeting, for a long time.

"Naruto, you have been given a great gift…" the toad said in awe.

Naruto grinned proudly. "I know that, dattebayo. But…" he went serious "She needs training and I thought maybe you could help."

The toad walked around Ishoo, then hummed something and put a hand over the child's eyes. Ishoo blinked drowsily and crawled to Naruto's lap, falling asleep right afterwards.

"Hey, why did you do that? And how did you do that, ttebayo? Genjutsu?" Naruto asked.

"That is not genjutsu and we need to talk in private." Shima dropped the sage mode. "Be a decent host and get us some tea, would you?"

Naruto blushed and nodded, taking his daughter to bed. He returned to find Shima sitting on the kitchen table.

"Be a good boy and find me a tall stool to use when I'm here later on, would you?"

"Uh, hai" Naruto mumbled and put the kettle on.

"I think you have no idea what she is, right?"

He nodded, picking up a tiny shot glass and a mug for himself.

"Gamamaru-sama told us that when he himself was little more than a tadpole, the Ougama Sennin before him visited the Lands of Eternal Summer, and met one like her."

Naruto almost dropped the kettle.

"How could you travel so far back then? We only know about that continent from the few people who cross the ocean for a year to get here, and none of them are ninja."

Shima nodded.

"One ninja left these lands and traveled there, and when he got there, he used the kuchiose so our elder could help him understand how things work there."

"The people there are very different from us, Naruto. The then Ougama Sennin said that when the flower of chakra was consumed here, the gods forbade the people from there to come to these lands, and filled the people's energy pathways with their own holy energies, so they wouldn't be able to ever use chakra."

Naruto gasped.

"So they can't use jutsu at all? How do they defend themselves?"

"They used some kinds of taijutsu, and when there was a matter of great dispute, they should consult their ancestor spirits, who mediate between them and the gods, through people who are born with the ability to summon them."

"Ancestor spirits? Like, um, uh, ghosts?" Naruto shivered.

Shima sighed. Naruto had always been afraid of ghosts.

"Yes. They say the gods decided to do things this way so that people would forcibly have to rely on each other and nobody would be able to become insane with lust for power. The ancestor spirits are bound to the gods, and their powers are limited by them."

Naruto pondered about that. "Seems like a sensible way to prevent war."

Shima chuckled.

"Oh, that doesn't prevent war. They have their wars, and politics, and all the other problems we have, for they are free people, like us. The only difference is that nobody is able to wage war without support from their whole nation, and since most people don't like their lives to be perturbed, their wars are much fewer and in a lesser scale than ours."

"That doesn't explain people like my daughter."

"That is a different thing. The gods send people like her, who they call emissaries, to help restore natural balance after great wars. It's like you and the prophecy, but emissaries aren't exactly human. Their bodies are made by the gods from their own energies, and because there are many different gods, who each command different aspects of nature, there can be summoned different types of emissaries for different tasks. Though I don't know why an emissary would be sent here, neither do I intend to understand. The gods have their reasons."

Naruto put his chin on his hands and pondered.

"Hmmmm, so maybe that's why I could see Ishoo-chan when nobody else could sense her today…"

"What?" Shima asked.

"Yesterday me and Sasuke left her at the Inuzuka's so we could move house, and Ishoo-chan disappeared while playing hide and seek with their kids this morning. Nobody could sense her, but then I got desperate, entered sage mode and saw her. She was laughing her head off at everyone, the little brat." He smiled at that.

"Hmmm". Shima stood up on the table and entered sage mode, studying Naruto, who blinked at her.

"You didn't see her because of sage mode, you saw her because she melded her being with you." She stated, and took a sip of tea.

"Huh? I don't understand, Sennin Baa-chan."

Naruto looked at her uncomprehendingly, and wished Sasuke was here. His husband had a much better head for understanding complicated stuff like that.

"Somehow she absorbed some of your essence within her. It's that part of her that is yours that you see when you enter sage mode."

Naruto remembered the day they had adopted her.

"The day we met her, the beasts told me to feel something, and then everything went crazy, like… like… like going on sage mode, but not because I was drawing the energy. It felt like I was carried away by a tsunami, and drowned on it. After that, I just knew… just knew she was ours." He whispered the last part.

Shima nodded.

"And now she has started developing her abilities." She said.

"Yeah. But… that didn't feel like anything I ever sensed. Even though I could see her, I couldn't sense anything. That's why I called you here, so maybe you could help us out on how to train her, so she won't get into trouble."

"Hmmm. Let's wake her up and see what it was." Shima got up again and looked expectantly at Naruto, who got up and turned to go to Ishoo's room.

"Hey!" She bopped him. "Carry me, you inconsiderate dobe!"

* * *

It was lunchtime when Sasuke and his team reached Tanigakure.

"Ok, let's see where we can get some grub to go while picking up these supplies…" Kiba said.

"No need, we're escorting a cook. He will make us lunch when we reach him." Shizune explained.

"A what? We came all this way to escort A COOK?" Sasuke complained.

"Not ANY cook, the BEST okonomiyaki and dorayaki cook in all the lands!" Shizune smirked.

"Okonomiyaki…" both men drooled. The closest thing they had to that in Konoha was takoyaki, and it didn't come close.

* * *

They were outside now, the sun being kind enough to warm the air a bit. Ishoo had put up such a huge fight not to wear shoes or socks that Naruto gave in and let her walk barefoot, after Shima told him to just let the child do as she pleased.

"Ishoo-chan, show me how you hid from everyone this morning, please? But don't move from wherever you are." Shima asked and watched.

"Hai!"

Ishoo stood beside one of the trees and closed her eyes. They felt distracted for a second, and then she was just not there.

Naruto stood there quietly, like Shima had asked him to be. He watched the toad turn on sage mode and look around.

"Thank you, dear, you can come back now."

Naruto felt a tug inside him, and could see her again. He picked her up and they went inside.

He sat Ishoo on a chair and kneeled to rub her feet, which were still warm. He smiled and tickled them instead, and the girl almost fell off the chair laughing.

"What do you want for lunch, Ishoo-chan? It's time to eat, let's see how good your Tou-chan's cooking is" Shima said, occupying a corner of the table. Naruto froze. He had no idea what to serve Sannin baa-chan.

"Hn. Tou-chan can make us yummy chards, and soft warm eggs, and Tsume-sama gave us a bunch of yum-yum umeboshi oniguiri!" Ishoo said, after a thought.

"That would be excellent, Ishoo-chan, I also like warm soft eggs and chard very much. Be about your business, Naruto, I'll take care of her while you cook."

Naruto looked crestfallen at them, but sighed and got up to make their (overly, to him) healthy meal.

* * *

"Who could ever imagine YOU eating junk food…" Kiba chuckled as Sasuke munched contentedly on his tomato, mackerel and umeboshi okonomiyaki.

"Tch. There's a lot you don't know about me, Inuzuka. My grandmother made these for me when father was away for a few days." Sasuke smiled at the memory. Ever since they had their daughter, the memories of his own childhood brought more happiness than angst, and he was grateful for that. He had missed being able to remember his own family without the pain.

"Why only when he was out?" Shizune asked.

"Yeah, Choji's mom makes them every day for breakfast." Kiba added.

"Exactly." Sasuke gave them a meaningful smirk.

They pictured a fat Sasuke and laughed themselves silly.

* * *

The team was exhausted when they finally entered the gates. Coming back with a cartload of goods – ingredients for the cook, who was nice, but mostly silent, through the entire trip, and a ridiculous amount of booze, mostly sake, but also three boxes of evil looking hard liquor neither Kiba nor Sasuke had ever seen, but had made Shizune widen her eyes – had been tough, even with Akamaru pulling it.

It didn't help that bandits had ambushed them on the way back. Apparently, the liquor was ridiculously expensive, and since the war every original member of Konoha's 11 was worth a lot of money, along with Sasuke's coveted state of the art Rinnegan. However, exactly BECAUSE of that, and also because Naruto and Sasuke's marriage had been THE biggest gossip everywhere, no elite ninjas would lay a hand on them. Sasuke's powers could be dealt with by an organized, well strategized group, with some creativity, but Naruto's were at least 10 levels higher and nobody wanted to risk having the last Jinchuuriki alive after them, especially now that he had not one, but nine beasts at his disposal, AND all the other powers of the Sage of the Six Paths.

So it was a very large group of non-elite, but very hopeful ninjas that jumped on them, and it took over an hour to get rid of them all due to their sheer number – there were over fifty of them.

They entered the Hokage compound and delivered the cook and their load to the staff gratefully as the last rays of sun left the sky, and dragged themselves up the stairs to report at Tsunade's office.

"You're back." She remarked without even looking at them. Shizune rolled her eyes and excused herself.

"Anything else before we can get home, Hokage-sama?" Asked a very tired Kiba.

"Oh? Oh, yes. Sasuke, tell Naruto I will dock his pay for today for not showing up." Sasuke raised his eyebrows at that. "And prepare your home for the party tomorrow night." His mouth fell.

"Excuse-me, what?"

"You didn't think you would get away with marrying and becoming parents and moving house without a celebration, did you? We'll make it a housewarming party. Expect about thirty guests, tomorrow at six pm. And prepare the dojo to serve as sleeping quarters for the children, it should be an all-nighter." Tsunade didn't blink when she saw the look on Sasuke's face. "You will find instructions in this envelope. That is all."


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto woke up with a start when Sasuke touched him. He carefully moved the sleeping child on the couch and followed the frowning man outside, rubbing his eyes.

"Blurt it out." Sasuke said.

"Huh?"

"Tsunade said you didn't show up today – by the way, she's docking your wages for the day – and Kiba was late for the mission. I'm giving you five minutes to explain yourself, and count your blessings for that; Tsunade put it in her mind to make us host a damn housewarming party tomorrow for half the village."

"Huh? What? A party?"

Sasuke hit him over the head.

"Wake up and tell me what the fuck happened while I was out, dumbass!"

Naruto rubbed his eyes again and focused.

"I had to take care of Ishoo-chan's training; she scared the Inuzukas and me half to death today." He said, yawning.

"The kids were playing hide and seek in the morning before I got there, and nobody could find her. I didn't either, until I used sage mode" he yawned again "and so when I got home with her I called in Sannin baa-chan. She and Iruka-sensei will be working together to train her and get her ready to enter the Academy next fall. After everything was settled and all it was too late for work anyway, so we showed Ishoo-chan some of the stuff she'll see with Iruka, and then she was tired, I was tired, everybody left and we decided to take a nap."

Sasuke was standing in front of him with his arms crossed, his eyebrow up and his mouth hanging open. Naruto kissed him.

"Let's go inside, it's cold out here. I'll make us something to eat and you can tell me about this party later, sounds cool."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sasuke decided not to waste more brain cells with his husband and went to the couch to get their daughter up for dinner, hoping she would make more sense than him.

He sat down next to her, quietly raised her shirt and blew on her tummy. She woke up with a sleepy grin.

"Hi Papa…"

"Hi, sleepyhead, time for dinner, how was your day?" He picked her up.

She looked at him, widened her eyes and started clapping and jumping on his lap.

"Papa! Papa! Papa! I'm going to the Academy! Iruka-sensei came and said I can start next year! And I met Shima-sensei, she's a lady frog and she's really funny and she hit Tou-chan on the head a lot! And we played hide and seek and Tou-chan couldn't find me but then his face looked funny like Nagumi-san's and he did and then we played more later and Shima-sensei and Iruka-sensei didn't but they said that I can play hide and seek as much as I want in the Academy and that they're gonna teach me a bunch of fun stuff and then Shima-sensei sang a frog song and Iruka-sensei made hand signs but I don't know what they were and then he looked funny and PAPA I'M GONNA GO TO THE ACADEMY!" She actually screamed the last on his ear, and he winced, and then chuckled as he remembered that Nagumi-san, who sold greens at the market, had rather glaring taste for bright yellow eyeshadow. He also decided to talk to Iruka or Shima whenever he got his hands on them.

He carried her to the table, where Naruto was ladling some leftover okayu.

"Don't even try to complain, it's almost one in the morning." He said, yawning.

They sat and ate listening to Ishoo-chan telling her account of what had happened, played with her a bit and when she got sleepy again they both put her to bed. Naruto lingered at her door for a few minutes, and then gave Ishoo a plump worm Choumei to sleep with, which the girl promptly hugged, half-asleep.

He took his clothes off and slipped under the covers.

"Naruto" Sasuke said as he snuggled close to him.

"Hmmmmmm?"

"I set the alarm clock for 6 am so you can wake up and start prepping whatever she wants, there's an instruction paper on the coffee table and I've already got everything that had to be arranged today done. Don't wake me up until 10 am or I'll make pantyhose out of your intestines; we had to fight a shitload of people over her booze today. Good night." Sasuke kissed him, hugged him and threw his leg over his hip.

"Love you too, teme." Naruto mumbled, and fell asleep.

* * *

Naruto woke to the sound of the alarm clock being thrown to the wall and a satisfied sigh from behind him right after.

He quietly slipped out of the futon, pulled some clothes out of the closet, and tiptoed out of the room.

Halfway into his shower, a very sleepy little girl carrying a plump pillow-sized worm got in and pulled the shower curtain, pushed said worm into his belly, where upon it disappeared with a small popping sound, and raised her arms with her eyes closed, pretending to be snoring.

Naruto pulled her pajamas off and picked her up.

"Ishoo-chan, we have to be really quiet this morning so Papa can sleep some more, so don't scream, but me and you are going out to get some things after breakfast, 'cause we're gonna have a party today, ok?" He whispered.

"A…" Ishoo covered her mouth and whispered instead "A party?" goggle eyed.

Naruto nodded and put his finger in front of his mouth. Ishoo nodded.

"Shhhhhhh" She hushed.

* * *

They went over the instructions during breakfast.

"Lemme see… Soda or juice for the kids" he looked at Ishoo and calculated his chances of survival until the end of the day if he bought soda.

"Juice."

Ishoo looked at him and raised her thumb. She also remembered the epic chewing out Naruto had got when he had tried walking home with carbonated sugary beverages.

"What kind?"

"Um, apple, lychee…" she put her finger in her chin. "Pear… mugi tea… and peach. Oh, and tomato!"

"Ok, that's done… next, disposable plates and cups for everyone… oh wait, no chopsticks?" He frowned and read further "Ooooooooooooh, Tsunade baa-chan got okonomiyaki and dorayaki for us, no cutlery needed, ttebayo!"

"Oko… okonomi… what's that, Tou-chan?" Ishoo asked, unsure how to say the word.

"Okonomiyaki, it's like a pancake that you put whatever you want on top, mushrooms, green onions, tofu or cheese, meat, fish… it's really tasty, dattebayo. I used to eat it with Ero-sennin, sometimes." His face went soft when remembering the old pervert.

"I wish I had met Ojichan Jiraya, Tou-chan."

"Me too. He would get all dopey with you." Naruto squeezed her hand. "Now, what's next?"

* * *

It took them two hours and a half to get everything, but thanks to Ino's mom lending them a cart and Ino lending a hand to them herself, they only had to make one trip.

"Oooi! We're home!" Naruto yelled, holding the front door open. "Ladies first."

Ino and Ishoo went in, carrying flowers.

"Sasuke! Get your lazy ass up and come help me out, this crap is heavy, dattebayo!"

Ino and the little girl giggled while getting vases for the flowers.

"Hn." Sasuke came out of the corridor, holding a coffee cup. "Ino". He nodded at her.

"Ohayo, Double-U!" She greeted, and he rolled his eyes.

"Sasuke if you don't help me out with this cart I'll make you EAT IT!" Naruto yelled, trying to make it pass through the door. His husband calmly walked over, grabbed a pack of juice bottles and put them on the table. He repeated the process, and then went back to finishing his coffee.

"What the fuck?"

"I just helped you, baka. Stop fighting with the damn thing and pick up the packages one by one."

Naruto shot eye-darts at him, but started to unload the cart.

"So, how many people are on the guest list?" Ino asked.

"Let me see… B, Gaara plus brother plus sister plus Shikamaru, Iruka-sensei with Kurenai-sensei and her daughter, Kiba and his sister, plus most of the Inuzuka pups…" Sasuke started reading the list as he sat down and pulled his daughter to his lap, kissing her and helping her reach the flowers to arrange on a vase. "Kakashi-sensei, Guy-sensei, Hinata 'and guest'" he looked at Ino and Naruto questioningly, and both shrugged. "Konohamaru and his team, Sakura with Rock Lee…"

Ino and Naruto looked at each other and both said "Wait, WHAT?" at the same time.

"Yeah, we ran into them yesterday on our way out, if they walked any closer together you'd think they were glued." He smirked.

"Seriously? Sakura and Rock Lee?" Ino said, sitting down.

"Ask Kiba and Shizune, they saw it too. And smelled, or so Kiba says."

"Hey, Bushy brows is a cool match for Sakura-chan, he's nice, responsible, got a steady job…" Naruto said defensively.

"No sense of fashion…" Ino said, giggling.

"And who are you coming with, Ino?" Naruto asked.

"Um… Chouji." She blushed.

"I see you decided to stop dieting." Sasuke said sarcastically, and smirked when Ino tried to hit him from across the table.

"Chouji is NOT fat anymore!"

"Yeah, and I'll bet partial Baika-no-Jutsu is a handy talent on a boyfriend!" Naruto laughed, and ducked to avoid her punch.

"Wait wait wait, look here, Shizune with Ten Ten?" Sasuke looked twice to confirm the names.

"Holy crap, isn't that pedophilia or something?" Ino commented, trying to read the paper upside down.

"I always thought Shizune and Tsunade baa-chan had an, er, agreement." Said Naruto, doing the same.

"Apparently not."

"Damn, this party gonna be good!" Naruto said, almost falling over with laughter.

* * *

"By the gods, Ishoo-chan, you're growing like bamboo! Soon you'll be as tall as I am! And so pretty, too!" Tsunade said, hugging the little girl, who was really growing much faster than any other child in Konoha, already reaching up to Naruto's waist.

Ishoo bowed to her and showed her in, wearing a red and orange kimono, silk sakura flowers entwined on her hair (thanks to Sakura herself, who had come by earlier mumbling about her honorary niece needing female assistance), which she had battled (and won) with her parents to have cut short.

Tsunade went straight for the bar, serving herself a dose of sake before commenting with said (beaming) parents how well behaved their daughter was.

"Iruka-sensei came to talk to me this morning." She sipped her sake watching their faces.

"And now the break in protocol is explained." Sasuke remarked ironically. Tsunade gave him a stern look.

"I already have to deal with a prophecy-bound jinchuuriki and the owner of the rarest eyes in all the lands, why am I not surprised the gods decided to throw me a vessel of holy power that no one can detect when she wants to hide and on whom neither ninjitsu nor genjutsu works to worry about?" She quaffed the sake and motioned for a refill. "If my daily curses actually work, Jiraya will reincarnate as a eunuch."

"What's this about ninjitsu and genjutsu?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, didn't your baka tell you? Iruka and the Sannin frog tried using them on her, ninjitsu doesn't even scratch her and she can't even sense the genjutsu. Iruka said he'd have to have you try it with her, but he's pretty sure she's completely immune."

"Naruto?" He poked the aforementioned baka.

"Um, yeah, I forgot to mention that. I even used the Rasengann, she said it tickled." Naruto said with a yellow smile.

"You used the Rasengann on our daughter."

"Um, yeah, and the Kage Bunshin. Their attacks go straight through her like regular bunshin."

"Can I talk to you outside a moment? Tsunade-sama, would you mind greeting the guests for a minute with Ishoo-chan?" Sasuke asked, in a controlled, polite voice.

"Sure, I'll be here, have fun."

Five minutes later Sasuke came back, fixing his clothing.

"Any trouble?" He asked Tsunade.

"Not at all, only a few people have shown up, Ishoo-chan is proving to be an adorable host." Tsunade said with a smirk.

Ten more minutes and a freshly bathed and dressed Naruto came out, sporting matching black eyes and several bruises.

* * *

It was now around 10 pm, all the kids had been moved to the dojo, after four whole hours of playing, jumping, dancing, running around everywhere and stuffing themselves silly. B was watching over them, with Gyuuki and Konohamaru's team. Naruto was more than happy to have the beast scurry out of him and into B's lap; the two had been best friends for many years and sorely missed each other.

The adults were spread out chatting; Iruka-sensei, Kurenai, Naruto and Sasuke doing what parents do all the time, which is politely trying to convince the others that their kid was much better than theirs while at the same time complaining about the burdens of parenthood.

Tenten and Temari were quietly chatting, with Shizune and Shikamaru sitting at their feet. Naruto and Sasuke had taken a look at the open display of the nature of their relationships, then at each other, and resolutely said "No way" at the same time.

Hinata and her 'guest' (a very happy, and quite at ease Darui, much to everyone's surprise) were in a corner with Kiba, Sakura and Rock Lee, talking animatedly.

Ino and Chouji had strategically positioned themselves near the food table, Sai having found himself completely in love with the hot dorayaki and practically hogging the cook.

"Naruto, go get me another tomato okonomiyaki, and get us a jar of that fruit punch Tsunade made earlier" Sasuke said.

"Another one?" Naruto had never seen Sasuke eat more than one serving of anything except fresh tomatoes, and even though the okonomiyaki had been made half the usual size, it would be his fourth. He looked at his husband's thin frame and reasoned that whatever put some more meat on those bones would be to his benefit.

"Anybody else wants something? Gonna get me some dorayaki too."

Iruka-sensei asked for more sake with a blush, and Naruto went to the table.

"Oi Sai, stop hogging the food, dattebayo."

"Shut up and have one of these, dickless. They are amazing."

"The okonomiyaki are even better than my mom's, where does this guy get his ingredients? He even got fresh lime juice for the shrimp in the middle of winter!" Chouji said between mouthfuls.

"I have no idea, but I have to get his anko recipe, it's so damn good I'm afraid to look back at myself in the mirror tomorrow, all this is going to go straight to my ass." Ino remarked, and Chouji slapped her butt, grinning.

"Bodacious bottoms!"

They all laughed and Naruto went back balancing his stuff precariously, feeling light-headed from the alcohol.

* * *

At midnight the cook had been dismissed and people were getting seriously drunk.

By somebody's suggestion, Sai drew a shuriken target on a large paper and people were laughing themselves silly trying to hit bullseye. Kakashi tried using his Sharingan, only to have Guy cover both his eyes, and threw his shuriken through the shoji. He elbowed his eternal rival, who fell on the floor laughing.

Sai and Kiba were singing and howling loudly an old song about women and their treacherous hearts.

On opposite dark corners of the room Sakura and Ino were competing to see who could make out with their boyfriend harder, while around the couch Gaara, Tsunade, Naruto (with a napping Sasuke resting his head on his lap) and Darui tried to discuss politics amidst their drunken haze, agreeing only when Gaara stated that if Daimyos in general weren't such conceited dumbasses, their lives would be a lot easier. They all drank to that.

* * *

At two am, Iruka-sensei and Kurenai left, blushing and throwing lustful looks at each other, promising to return for Motoyo in the morning. Gaara took his leave also. Half an hour later, Kiba's sister left hurriedly, cursing about hysterical clients and their "emergencies".

* * *

At three am Tenten and Temari were comparing spanking techniques, using a very blushing Hinata (who blushed even deeper after hearing something Darui had whispered her), Naruto and Sasuke as judges. The men argued and debated that spanking people with their clothes on was no fun, but settled on it as Shikamaru threatened to use his jutsu on them and force them to perform embarrassing acts with it.

Various people were missing from the main room, Kankurou and Sai among them, after the latter expressed the wish to take a better look on the former's "body artwork" for, he said, "purely artistic reasons".

Shino decided to go outside for some air, hoping to clear his head a bit.

He walked around the house slowly, trying to breathe some of the alcohol off his body, when a sound coming from a window caught his attention. Not wanting to intrude, but giving in to his drunken curiosity, he sent one of his insects.

Less than a minute later he went inside and dragged Kiba out.

Three minutes later, Kiba got in and hauled a complaining Hinata (who was surreptitiously caressing Darui's hair as he dozed on her lap) out.

Five minutes after that the three came in and started quietly calling everyone not currently passed out.

"Yo guys, do you have a camera?" Kiba asked, with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Uh, yeah, what for?" Naruto said.

"Nothing much… Kakashi has his mask off." Kiba said nonchalantly.

Sasuke jumped up and hurried to their room, almost tripping over Sakura and Rock Lee and making them break their kissing.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" She asked, whispering.

He came out of the room with something on his hand.

"Kakashi's got his mask off and we're going to catch him on camera."

Her eyes bulged and she ran after him.

* * *

"Are you SURE it's Kakashi with his mask off in there?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, yeah." Kiba said.

"Most assuredly" Shino nodded.

"With Guy-sensei. And somebody else." Hinata added, her blush going all the way down into her cleavage.

"I knew Guy-sensei had to be a pervert, hanging out with Kakashi-sensei all the time!" Chouji snickered.

"Don't you talk like that about Guy-sensei!" Lee growled.

"Shush, be quiet! I've been waiting all my life for this moment!" Sakura whispered, and the rest of the former team seven nodded in approval.

They approached the library window quietly and gathered.

"Fine, how are we going to do this?"

"I can use my insects to get the camera up"

"You're drunk, Aburame, we'll never get a clean picture"

"Does this camera also film or only takes still pics?"

"It films, lemme set it to night vision"

"Cool stuff, where did you get it?"

"Never mind where they got it, Ino-pig, we got to find a way to put it there without them noticing it!"

"Shhhhhhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhh they're coming closer to the window!"

They could hardly see anything in the sparse moonlight, due to the frost creeping up the window panes, but then they saw a reflection of light.

"Omg that's Kakashi's jaw in there!"

Something brushed against the window and they heard a muffled moan from inside.

"That's Guy's NAKED ASS! What did I just tell you?"

Lee began shedding silent tears and Sakura tried to console him.

"Wait, weren't there three people?"

They watched as a feminine arm went around the two apparently grinding males, the moonlight reflecting off blonde hair.

They all scurried off quietly to a safe distance.

"That…"

"Was…"

"Godaime-sama!"

"Tsunade-shishou!"

"Holy shit what do we do? What do we do?"

"She'll kill whoever she senses near that window!"

"Guy-senseeeeei!"

"What do we do now?"

"Chaaaana-ro! We get there and film them, duh!"

"I'm not going, I got a kid to raise and a house to pay"

"Me neither, I just stopped being the fat kid, ain't dying now"

"Dying is too troublesome."

"I'll go, I'll pretend I was pissing outside if she catches me, she won't kill her own successor, dattebayo"

"No you won't, usuratonkachi, getting a mortgage was your idea!"

"Will too!"

"Shut up! I got an idea, gimme the camera"

Kiba slowly crawled towards the window. They all held their breaths.

He slowly raised a clawed finger over the edge of the windowsill and cut a small circle on the glass, setting the camera lens in it, while Hinata watched the three figures inside with her Byakugan.

Kiba looked back and Hinata raised her thumb.

They all sidled back around the house and went inside on their tiptoes.

* * *

"Did you hear something?" Guy asked.

"Shut up and move" Kakashi and Tsunade purred at the same time.

* * *

At four thirty am, Tsunade was escorted home by them.

* * *

At four-thirty and thirty seconds am, the tv had been carried into the main bedroom, while the camera was recovered from the library's windowsill.

Bowls of popcorn were distributed shortly after, and everyone tried to sit comfortably.

"Teme, get out of my way! I can't see shit!" Naruto poked Sasuke in the ribs, who then turned sideways, but did not get down from his lap, and bonked heads with Ino, who was in Chouji's.

"You guys think Tsunade-sama's age-concealing henge held with all the action?" Tenten asked. Shizune covered her face with her hands.

Everyone considered that for a second.

"Naaahhh, if it dropped they would have stopped things much earlier." Shikamaru said in a hopeful tone.

"Everyone shut up and let's watch it already!" Sai said from Kankurou's lap.

They started the video.

"Get the sound up!"

"Are you crazy? There's kids in the house!"

"They're all the way back in the dojo, they're not gonna hear anything!"

"Yeah, but the bathroom is right next door! No sound!"

"Ok, no sound, now everyone shut the hell up!"

Everyone turned their heads to the screen.

Darui's lollipop fell from his open mouth.

"Whoa…" they said in unison.

"Yo, what y'all watching? I smelled popcorn" Killer B opened the shoji. Popcorn was thrown at his face.

"Get out of the way, you're blocking the view!" Sakura exclaimed.

B looked at the screen and saw the back of a blonde head, apparently sucking two men at the same time.

"Oh. I done that." He said, sidling to take a place on the back of the room.

Sasuke paused the video while everyone turned to look at the giant rapper.

"You what?" Darui was taken aback.

"Yeah. Groupies, man, why do y'all think I rap? Ladies go crazy." B answered with a huge grin.

"Fine, let's not lose focus on the important thing here, the important thing is Kakashi's FACE" Sasuke said and unpaused.

After a couple of minutes the scenery changed.

"Gods damn it, Kakashi just HAD to get on top of the table, didn't he?"

"That's a fine girth there though."

"Are those Guy's hands on her ass?"

"Oh my innocent Guy-sensei!"

"Done that too."

Sasuke pressed fast-forward, and Ino grabbed the remote from his hand.

"What, I was trying to get to where his face shows!"

"Nuh-huh, I wanna see where this is going!" Ino pressed pause.

"Yeah, it's actually… fascinating"

"Like watching an ox-cart wreck"

"Who could imagine geriatric sex to be this entertaining?"

"Or amusing?"

"Quite educational, too"

Ino pressed play again.

"What the hell Kakashi, get your fucking head in a decent angle!"

"Yeah, all we can see is his hair and… Tsunade shishou's…"

Sasuke covered Naruto's eyes. Naruto pushed his fingers open.

"Done that also."

"That… that… can you actually BLINK with that?"

A few minutes later Kakashi started crawling on his back and they all held their breaths.

"Woooooooooah" they all sighed.

"That was actually a close one, if only he hadn't turned his face the other way."

Kakashi was now seen lengthwise on the table, head in line with the camera. Tsunade mounted him.

"And that."

"Tch, who hasn't done THAT?"

"I haven't."

"Don't worry, Sai, we won't be leaving for Sand for the next three days, I'll bet nii-chan and you will have plenty of opportunities to get better acquainted."

"Oh, ok"

Guy's lower half came near Kakashi's head.

"Holy shit!"

"Uh, I ain't done THAT!"

They saw Tsunade drool a bit next to Kakashi's hidden face.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwww"

"What? Drool is actually sexy"

And then Guy got up on the table, positioning himself behind Tsunade. They even saw a glint on his smile.

"Oh. OH. Yeah, on second thought…"

"Tsunade! You go girl!"

"Whooooohoooooooooo!"

"Well, WE'VE done that"

"How the hell are two women gonna do THAT?"

"Toys"

"Oh. Forget I asked"

"Uh, does, um, that hurt?"

"Actually when some girls are REALLY aroused, no, not a bit."

"Are you kidding? He didn't even stretch her!"

"Some women don't need that either when they're that aroused."

"Lucky bitches."

"Wait, don't tell me the two of YOU haven't done that, Sexy-no-Jutsu and all"

"Uh, no, it's a regular henge, it don't change your insides."

Many minutes passed.

Heads turned this way and that.

Darui whispered something on Hinata's ear and moved her hands from her eyes. She blushed all the way to her toes.

"Ok, I'm fast-forwarding."

"No!"

"It's getting boring!"

"Touch that button and die, Uchiha!"

"What the fuck, I thought the idea was to see Kakashi's face, get Ino's hand out of your pants, you pervert!"

"Shut up, they're gonna do something!"

"Nah, they're probably all spent after that workout."

"Yeah, who knew old Tsunade had that much stamina."

"Wait… ohohoooooooooo, speaking of stamina!"

"Oh… OH MYYYYYY!"

"Holy crap! I swear I ain't EVER doing that!"

"THAT'S the power of youth right there, boys and girls!"

"Guy-senseeeeeeeeeeei, don't let the pervert do that to you, he's your RIVAL!"

"Chuga, chuga, chuga, tchoo tchoo!"

"Tchoo tchoo!"

"Tchoo tchoo!"

"Now THAT'S gotta hurt!"

"Not that much really, vaginal fluids are natural lubricants."

"Too much information, Shikamaru."

"Uh, I thought it was useful!"

"Hinata!"

"Uh, what? They seem to be enjoying themselves…"

"Not every male likes that, it's… a manliness issue."

"Hear, hear!"

"Dunno why not, Sasuke loves it and he's manly!"

"Hn."

"Naruto! It's all your fault, you made Guy-sensei uke with your hentai chakra!"

"More like Kakashi did that with his huge hentai cock!"

"Holy balls, Guy's prostate must be going all the way up to his stomach with that pounding!"

"What's a prostate?"

"You'll know all about it soon enough, Sai, don't worry about it."

"Oh. Ok then. Promise?"

"Hahahahahahahahaa Kankurou's face is as dark as his make-up, dattebayo!"

"It's NOT make-up!"

"Holy shit, how much longer can Guy take this?"

"I told you, it's the power of youth, Lee can last even longer."

"Sakura-chan!"

"What? I can brag if I want to!"

"Without some kind of cock ring? Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Yeah, but when you and Lee do it there isn't somebody else up his ass at the same time, that makes it easier to last unaided."

"For eight hours?"

Somebody whistled.

"Sakura, I'm RIGHT HERE!"

"How can you freaking WALK afterwards?"

"Yoga."

"Eight HOURS. EIGHT hours? Never mind walking, she wouldn't be able to SIT. Stop lying, Forehead-girl!"

"I'm not lying. Stop pinching me, Lee!"

Everyone stared at Rock Lee, who was currently simultaneously covering his face with one hand while surreptitiously watching the video chronometer, and pinching Sakura's ass with the other.

"You HAVE to be lying."

"Nope."

"NO ONE can keep their dick up for EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT, Sakura!"

"Lee can."

"It's physically impossible, woman!"

"I don't know, maybe I'm just very good, but he can."

"Billboard-face, are you ADVERTISING yourself?"

"It doesn't matter how talented you are, it's impossible."

"Yeah, actually, the best you are, the harder it is to hold back."

"I never said he holds back."

A collective gasp.

"That's even worse, his balls would have to reach his feet to keep up with demand, baka-yarou!"

"Uh… she's right, though…"

Lee's face was purple.

"About what? That she's the best lay in the known universe or that you can last longer than a Duracell bunny?"

"Um, er. The latter."

"Lee!"

"Sakura-chan, I love you very much…"

"LEE!"

"But… but… uh, it's, er… training."

"Say what?"

"Uh, it's part of my Taijutsu training."

"The fuck it is, everybody here has trained Taijutsu and we never heard of anything like THAT!"

"I'm telling you, it's Taijutsu."

"And here was I thinking that Ero-sennin was the biggest pervert of all time…"

"When the fuck did Guy-sensei teach you that? He never taught ME!"

"You're a girl."

"Neji never talked about that either!"

"You fucked Neji?"

"No, but I got him drunk a couple of times, and he always bragged about everything he could do when he got drunk."

"Uh, it's part of the inner gates training, Guy-sensei taught me only."

"Daaaaaaaamn wait until we tell Gaara, we're gonna have to make Temari Kazekage, he'll never leave Konoha without learning how to do that."

"I didn't know Gaara was interested in this kind of stuff!"

"He will be when he hears about this!"

"By the way, how long does it take to learn that? Just the important bits, yo, I ain't interested in no suicidal shit."

"Yeah, give us some good info, Lee!"

"Uh, it took me a couple of years."

"Years? Damn, that's troublesome."

"Shut up Shika, I'm interested."

"Awwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn damn it…"

"Hey, looks like they're finishing it!"

The lovers in the screen were lying down on top of each other, but only a portion of Kakashi's chest was visible.

"This is it! His face HAS to appear as soon as he goes for his pants!"

They craned their necks.

"Come on, Kakashi!"

"Aaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh Tsunade-shishou, GET OUT OF THE WAY! People are trying to SEE!"

"You do realize this isn't a live transmission."

"O wait, Tsunade-sama doesn't wear panties?"

"I got dibs on tripping her over!"

"Damn it!"

"Slow the video! Kakashi is getting dressed!"

They watched as Kakashi turned his back and walked near the door, then bent to pick up his clothes, holding their breaths.

"Motherfucker HAD to put his mask on first!"

"Shit."

"Awwwwwwwww."

"Seriously?"

"A whole hour of waiting for nothing!"

"Wouldn't say for nothing…"

"Shut up, Chouji! And if our sheets are wet when you get up from there, I'm sending the dry-cleaning bill to your house!"

They were already starting to get up when B shout out.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Rewind that a bit!"

Another collective gasp as they saw Kakashi flip his middle finger at the camera as the lovers left the room.

"Son of a bitch!"

"He saw the camera!"

"O shit we're dead"

"We're SO dead"

"Guy-sensei will NEVER want to see my face again!"

"Nah, he will. Once. For the last time."

"Wait, no, only Naruto and Sasuke are dead, they don't know we all did it!"

"Fucking GREAT friends you all are, dattebayo!"

"And Kiba."

"What about ME?"

"You're the only one with claws that can cut glass, moron."

"Argh! They're gonna tell my MOTHER about this, I'm SO dead!"

"Oooohhh Kiba-kun is still afraid of his Mama!"

"Kankurou, you don't know what an Inuzuka mother is."

"But he's an adult!"

"So am I and I'M afraid of her, and I'm not even her son!"

"Ha, no fear there, Tsunade-shishou is going to kill you before you ever talk to anyone again"

"Guys"

"O man, she's gonna rip our balls off and make us eat them…"

"Guys"

"You? What do you think she's going to do to ME? I've been her assistant all my life!"

"GUYS!"

"What?"

"How come we aren't dead yet?"

They turned to Shikamaru with hopeful eyes.

"You're right, we should have had our guts decorating the walls by now"

"I think only Kakashi saw it."

"That's sort of a relief."

"Relief? Did you see what he did to Guy-sensei? What if he decides to add new dishes to his menu?"

"What are we gonna do?"

Everyone turned to Shika again, who rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Are you all SERIOUSLY waiting on me to decide?"

Everyone nodded.

"Ok. Nobody does ANYTHING, then. If Kakashi didn't rat us out right then and there, it's because he wants something. Let's hope it's something easy like money or the stack of unfinished Icha Icha novels Jiraya left for Naruto. And NOBODY FUCKING LAUGH when you see them, or else we're toast. We'll all just pretend this never happened. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

"Swear it on your honor as ninjas."

They all – including Shikamaru – swore they wouldn't do anything, much less laugh.

Before they all left – nobody was in the mood to party anymore and it was already morning – Shika turned to Naruto and Sasuke.

"Both of you guard that tape with your lives until Kakashi asks for it, or we destroy it after a week, whichever comes quicker."


	7. Chapter 7

Naruto and Sasuke rested their backs on the door after seeing the last of them out, and looked at the aftermath of the previous night.

"Holy crap"

"Yup, ttebayo"

"Have we even got enough garbage bags to pick all this up?"

Naruto sighed. "We better, gonna be a bunch of hungry kids barging in for breakfast in a few."

"At least we don't have to go out to work today."

"Wait!" Naruto gave Sasuke a wicked grin. "We got a whole ninja team back in the dojo. How about we make them earn their breakfast?"

Sasuke returned the grin. "Actually that is a damn good idea, dobe."

They purposely set out to the dojo.

* * *

"What. The. Fuck. Happened. Here, Konohamaru!" Sasuke growled, shaking the chunnin by his collar.

Konohamaru shushed him desperately. "Shut up! The damn kids just fell asleep!"

The dojo was a complete mess. Pillow feathers were scattered everywhere, shuriken and kunai were stuck all over the walls and ceiling, and Udon was snoring while hanging upside down, his ankles tied to the iron exercise bar. Various extremely pointy weapons were outlining his figure in the target behind him. The children were sleeping every which way on the tatami, with Ashi, little Motoyo and Ishoo in a bundle, Gyuuki spread over them. A small downy feather flew up and came down with the beast's snoring.

Sasuke and Naruto dragged Konohamaru away inside the house.

"Explain yourself, Sarutobi."

"Explain MYSELF? Explain TO ME why you never told me you were training your kid to go to the Academy! She decided to train the kids in shuriken and kunai throwing and when we tried to dissuade her the damn eight tails tried to EAT US! Killer B and the kids were LAUGHING at us while we tried to escape! It all went downhill from there, all the kids decided to HELP the damn beast by beating the crap out of us with their pillows, and then they tied up Udon and used him for target practice… and B was holding Motoyo up so she could target my poor teammate's BALLS!"

Naruto and Sasuke had their shoulders shaking with suppressed giggles.

Konohamaru continued, completely livid.

"And then those HORRIBLE Inuzuka kids decided to train that damn Inuzuka piss-marking jutsu on MOEGI! She had to run away from them for HOURS, and when she came back she was shocked because she saw… she saw… that HENTAI Kankurou and Sai doing weird stuff with a puppet! What the hell were you adults THINKING?"

Sasuke was now lying on the floor, guffawing his lungs out, while Naruto was holding his belly and leaning on the wall, his knees soft with laughter.

"What the fuck are you too laughing about? Have you any idea of what it feels to be mobbed up by a dozen demonic brats and have snow stuffed down your clothes because, so the little devils said, they wanted to make a life-like snowman?"

"Holy crap…" Naruto huffed and tried to breathe, while Sasuke beat his hands on the floor, hollering. "Konohamaru… stop… I'm gonna pee my pants… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Konohamaru watched the display, unimpressed.

"I swear to the gods, the younger generation has NO respect whatsoever." He snarled. "Just like the previous one."

* * *

Back in the dojo, Ishoo dreamt.

She was standing in a field, looking up at the dark sky, holding a white flower. The stars were swirling quickly, and thunder rumbled. She looked to her side, and a dark figure smiled at her.

"Aniki…" she whispered.

Then the dream shifted. She was beside a very sad man, sitting in the ground, covered in evil-looking snakes. She offered him her hand, and he took it, looking at her through round eyeglasses.

The dream shifted again. Now she was in a room, looking at another man, standing there with a snake head, looking at her Papa. She could hear Tou-chan screaming outside, and she knew the snake-man wanted to eat her Papa, but she felt no fear. Papa raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

She was now in a forest, running, running, running hidden like when she played, running faster and faster, the forest floor pushing her feet faster than her feet could push the ground back.

Gyuuki woke up and hugged her trembling body, nuzzling her hair until she stilled in her sleep.

* * *

Three days later Sasuke packed the mini-tape on a hunch. He would be leaving for a day-long mission with Kakashi and Shikamaru again that day.

As soon as they were out of sight of the gates, Kakashi stopped and extended his hand. Sasuke gave him the tape.

"I hope you all have learned your lesson." He said, nonchalantly, and summoned Pakkun.

"You know what to do with this."

Pakkun took the small tape and poofed.

"Is… is that it?" Shikamaru asked hesitantly.

"For now." And with that Kakashi ended the discussion.

* * *

The boy made his way through the swamps, cursing his small body. He was very tall for a seven year old, but even so, carrying the old man on his back was a grueling task.

"Amachi, turn right. I see a place where you can rest." The old man whispered in his ear.

"Yes, Babalawo." He turned and ran.

After a few minutes he spotted an outcrop hidden amongst the swamp tree roots. He stopped, let the old man down and bowed, clapping three times. The roots opened, making way for them to crawl in.

Amachi gratefully dropped in the mound of dry leaves inside, after seeing to his master's comfort.

"Tomorrow we reach the end of this country. We will soon reach the land of demons, and there we will find help."

"I trust the strength of your asè."

"I hope you learn to trust more than that, child."

* * *

They took a week to reach the Land of Demons.

Amachi smirked at the name. Only those without full asè running through their bodies called the elemental beings that represented facets of the life-force that. In his own land, demon was a title reserved for beings that dared disrupt the nature of the world due to ignorance, greed, or hate.

They walked at night, knowing that, this close to the Land of Swamp, their appearance would raise comments.

After another week of grueling progress, they reached the grounds of the priestess Shion's palace.

Amachi gathered wood for a small fire while his master cloaked their small camp in a dark corner of the vast palace courtyards.

When he came back, a woman was bowed in front of the old man.

"Amachi, this is Shion, the high-priestess of these lands. Shion-sama, this is my ward, who I am escorting as is the gods' will."

"Hajimimashite." The boy bowed to her and began to build the fire.

"Here. I can light it for you." The priestess smiled and began forming the signs for a jutsu, but Amachi covered her hands with his."

"Please, don't. It won't work." He turned to light the fire with matches.

"The boy is right, Shion-sama. And good for him to remember, for I had forgotten." The old man chuckled.

"Monifa-sama lives to his name yet again." The boy said with a smirk.

"Thank you again for meeting us, Shion-sama. Your help is highly appreciated." The old man bowed to her.

"I once thought Naruto was the one to help me pass my powers forward… alas, it was not to be, but who am I to question the gods? Especially now… the world begins to tumble." She said with a sad smile.

"Yes. But fear not, Shion-sama. The gods are wise, and your heritage is more than just power. In the end, power is not what makes us be ourselves."

The priestess smiled and bowed to them, then rose up.

"I will begin the preparations for your voyage. We will talk again in the morning."

She left.

"Master, are you sure we can trust her?" Amachi asked quietly, a few minutes later, while skewering a small animal to cook.

"We can only trust those that the gods put in our way, Amachi. In this voyage, we are in the dark until we reach the light. And this priestess knows in her heart what her purpose is. Do not let the fact that the people in this land are different from us cloud your judgment, child. They are as much the children of asè as we are."

"I know, master. It's just that they feel so… incomplete."

"Some would say you are incomplete as well." Monifa blinked at him, while lighting his pipe.

Amachi felt his face flush with embarrassment.

"You don't have to remind me, Babalawo."

"And you mustn't be embarrassed by your nature, child. It serves the world that you ibeji walk the path of this life as you are now."

"Yes, master."

Amachi kept quiet for the rest of the evening, though.

In the morning, Shion came back with an ox and two lesser priests. On the beast's back there was a saddle, and a bushel hung at each of its sides.

"These are Noriko and Satoru, they will guide and protect you until you reach Sunagakure. I have also brought typical garments for you; they will help keep prying eyes away."

The old man accepted the clothes gratefully.

"Thank you, Shion-sama. May the gods repay your kindness twofold." He thanked her.

"They have already blessed me with being able to partake on your task."

She bowed low, and watched as they left.

Four uneventful months passed by as they journeyed to the land of Wind.

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto was more and more engrossed in diplomacy work. He was sent abroad to meet the different Daimyo and lesser ninja villages, as special envoy for the Godaime Hokage in a commercial treaty voyage. He felt being away from his family and his daughter's training a painful payback from the party's indiscretion, but said nothing. At least, he mused, he was not only being semi-officially granted the status of future Hokage, but also learning a great deal.

He often received letters from home, the first of them being the most precious. It had been written by Ishoo, and with it there were pictures. It was addressed in a bit shaky, but quite readable script, to "The future Rokudaime Hokage", and he almost cried when he read it.

It said:

"To my future Rokudaime Tou-chan

Me and Papa send you kisses. We miss you very much. I am proud of you and I am training a lot so you can be proud of me too.

Sakura-chan says she misses you too. She comes here a lot, we make cookies for Papa and for Lee-san. Papa is taking classes with Sakura-chan at night and when they go I stay at Motoyo's with Iruka-sensei and Kurenai-chan.

Iruka-sensei always walks me home from the training grounds and he sometimes asks me to walk hidden. He says that I can hide so well if you and Papa allow me, I can start learning how to walk in the village all by myself soon. Tou-chan, can I do that? Please? Please? I want to be a great ninja like you and Papa and all the big kids in the Academy do it, so I have to do it too even if I'm a bit smaller. I promise not to scare anyone.

Love you very much,

Uchiha-Uzumaki Ishoo."

The first picture showed Ishoo writing the letter, biting her tongue and with the same focused look Sasuke had when he was a child at the Academy. There were also pictures of her and Sasuke making dinner, of her with Shima-sama and Iruka-sensei training, of Lee carrying the little girl on his shoulders with a blushing Sakura holding his arm at the market, a few somewhat shaky shots of Sasuke sleeping, writing a report, or looking out the window with a faraway look on his face (he supposed his daughter had taken those). The last picture was one of him in a complex-looking yoga posture, and behind the picture was written, in Sasuke's elegant script:

"Be home soon, usuratonkachi."

**A/N:**

Asè is a Yoruba concept that signifies the power to make things happen and change. It is given by Olodumare (who is one of the three facets of the Supreme God, which in this work is basically the Universe as a living being) to everything - gods, ancestors, spirits, humans, animals, plants, rocks, rivers, and voiced words such as songs, prayers, praises, curses, or even everyday conversation. Existence, according to Yoruba thought, is dependent upon it. In this story, it is the life-force imbued into the people of the Lands of Eternal Summer by the gods, in opposition to the chakra energy that exists in people of the ninja continent. It is also what Ishoo is physically made of.

Amachi is a Nigerian Ibo name meaning "Who knows what the gods have brought us through this child".

Babalawo is a Yorùbá chieftaincy title that denotes a Priest of Ifá. Ifá is a divination system that represents the teachings of the Orisha Orunmila, the Spirit of Wisdom, who in turn serves as the oracular representative of the gods.

Ibeji is a Yoruba term that means twin, and in this work it works pretty much as in Yoruba traditional religion; there, each person is one soul in the long line of ancestral souls, and twins are complex beings who share the same soul. In this work, it is one soul in service of the gods, with two faces; it can either live in one body (one of the faces being the dominant, living the mortal life, while the other is in constant contact with the spiritual world) or in separate bodies, both straddling the mortal and spiritual worlds.

Monifa is a Yoruba name meaning "I'm lucky".

Yes, African-based mythology is being used, along and intertwined with the canon japanese mythology, in this story. I am not African and the base of what I'll be using, although originated in Africa, is much more in line with the religions that arose in the American continent with the slave trade (and that includes the use of many names and terms from different African ethnic groups by different ones, since slaves were usually dumped together in the same place, having to work out their differences and common grounds together to form one community, in order to survive the hardships of enslavement). Don't worry; ancestor-based religions have enough in common not to make the story too confusing.


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke woke up gasping, sat down and hugged his legs. He then rubbed his eyes and tried to massage some of the tension out of his shoulders.

'Fucking nightmares… fucking Godaime… fucking Naruto… and fucking stupid me for not realizing how bad this six-month fucking trip of his would be to my nerves' he thought, grabbing the sheets with a shaky hand.

He heard the noise of a door being quietly opened, then heard Ishoo whisper.

"Papa? Are you awake?"

"Yeah… bad dream." He answered groggily.

"Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream too."

She came inside holding something on her hand, and ran to the futon after closing the door.

"If you don't tell Tou-chan that Papa is afraid for him, I won't tell him you are either." He smiled and kissed her forehead.

Ishoo nodded and opened a hand with her palm up.

"My dream was so bad my tooth ran away, Papa." She said, and grinned to show the gap between her teeth.

He picked up the small tooth and smiled.

"I think I know exactly who to send this… but the next one is mine, ok?"

She nodded solemnly. He got up, put the tooth in an envelope, stuck the envelope to the desk with tape, and lied down again. Ishoo snuggled next to him.

* * *

A month later, Naruto opened a parcel to find his daughter's baby tooth in a thin gold chain. He kissed it, before putting it on.

'Two more months' he thought, and sighed.

* * *

The desert was unforgiving in midsummer, and even traveling only at night had many risks, especially if you had a beast of burden, since those meant food, transportation and money, all in one self-moving package.

Amachi sighed as he saw the four desperate bandits blocking their way.

"We gave everything we could spare already, but if you have a smaller beast that can carry my master, you can keep this one." He repeated the line his master made him use for the last 4 robberies. He couldn't carry his master all the way to Sunagakure, and there was no way a 115 year old man would survive the trek on his own feet.

And without reaching Sunagakure, they would never reach Leaf, and complete the process that the Sage of the Six Paths had begun. That would not do.

"Ha! As if the likes of you deserved luxury to cross a desert!" One of the bandits sneered at them.

The boy sighed and pulled off the senbon he had hidden in his sleeve.

"Any of you who does NOT want to die, please leave." He waited.

"No takers? Hn."

The boy closed his eyes, and all the torches went out. The darkness became oppressive.

"Hah! Your genjutsu is weaker than genin level! We -"

The bandit dropped dead.

"One down. Y'all would be wise to leave now." Monifa counted.

"Fuuton!" A second bandit had formed the seals, turned around at a noise, and set one of his remaining comrades on fire.

"Two… come on, people, there is no need for more of you to die, please be sensible and give up." Monifa pleaded.

"You should hear the Babalawo" they heard an impossibly deep bass voice talking. "The boy doesn't like wastefulness, and there is enough for me to consume already."

At those words, both the fire-jutsu wielder and the last bandit took to their heels.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Hitokui jinshu!"

"Hitokui Bakemonooooooo !"

Their screams mingled with horrifying laughter.

"And now the Suna ninja will think we're cannibals; thank you very much, Baraa." Amachi said mostly to himself, in an annoyed tone.

"Yes… but the blood was useful. You cannot deny that." The deep voice almost purred, fading at the end.

The darkness faded to a normal level.

"Would you rather there were four deaths? Fear can kill, but respect out of fear saves lives, Amachi." Monifa stated quietly.

The boy put the senbon back and began pulling the ox again.

* * *

Sasuke moved quietly through the rooftops, following his daughter. Recognizing his energy in her was easier for him than for Naruto, as was understanding Shima-sama's explanation of how she worked. Personal space was something he treasured, and Orochimaru had been extremely skilled at human psychology.

"What she does is play with our personal space and the architecture of our brains." Shima had explained to him and Iruka-sensei after a training session. "In order to maintain their sense of self, all living creatures develop a level of insensitivity to life-force. If we were aware of it around us all the time, we would never be able to focus on anything because of the sensory overload.

Hence, we mortal creatures have restricted our complete awareness of it Sto the area we calculate is enough for us to escape or prepare for fighting. That is what personal space means. When we focus on someone, depending on the intensity of the energy we spend on it, we can touch someone's personal space, and that is what makes people realize when someone is staring at them even when that someone is unseen.

However, there are situations where we allow other people in our personal space, either willingly, as is when we're in a crowded room, or unwillingly, when we're extremely focused on something. That is what allows people to startle us, for example.

What I believe she does is raise the frequency of her energy to match what our brains automatically ignore. She then has only to sense people's personal spaces and avoid them."

"So" Iruka-sensei said "It's not that she hides from us, she just uses our brains' natural defense against sensory overload. That is actually damn clever."

"And because it's a part of our own awareness mechanism that was built into our genes right at the roots of the tree of life, no amount of training or sophisticated jutsu can overrule it." Sasuke mused. "That doesn't explain how I can sense her easily, even Naruto has to use sage mode to do it."

"Your line has always been selected to sense and avoid genjutsu, which works in a similar way. The difference is that genjutsu forces the brain into it by synchronizing the victim's chakra waves with the caster, while what she does is adjust herself with the life force that surrounds everything around us naturally and which the brain has no defense against. But since she has some of your energy in her, and your line is more sensible to fluctuations of personal space, you can sense it and pinpoint where it is easier than Naruto. He has to use sage mode to see his own energy on her because, well…" Shima shrugged.

"He has no true concept of personal space to begin with, because he's a moron." Sasuke snickered.

"I'll never confess to agreeing, but you can say that again." Iruka had laughed.

Sasuke came out of his reverie as he sensed a familiar chakra signature nearby, and his daughter stopping.

They were in the empty training grounds now, and he hid on a tree branch, lowering his chakra levels so he wouldn't be detected by the sitting figure, but held firmly on the kunai on his left hand.

Kabuto was sitting under a tree, and his sadness radiated from him, as he watched the silent grounds. Sasuke knew why: the amount of experiments and body altering techniques he had used on himself had made his appearance so grotesque that he only allowed himself to leave the hospital, where he now worked with Sakura developing new medical jutsu, in the middle of the night, when the village was quiet and no one but the guards would see him.

The former right hand to Orochimaru had finally found himself in Itachi's genjutsu, but he had gone so far in his mad quest for self-worth that any hope of being accepted as a human being by his fellow orphan brethren had been destroyed.

Sasuke felt the part of his daughter that was also his move nearer, and Ishoo "uncloaked" herself behind one of the tree stumps used for training. It was far enough from Kabuto that he wouldn't sense her with his personal space.

He repressed an impulse to jump between them. If there was something he knew about ninja training, it was that novices needed to feel free to build their own confidence and judgment skills. Interfering now would shatter her trust in him, and he didn't want that.

She timidly came out of hiding. Kabuto rose hurriedly.

"Wait, please. Don't be scared." Ishoo called out.

"Don't come closer." Kabuto warned, taking a step back towards the shadows.

"Don't be afraid, the snakes won't bite me." She told him, walking slowly.

Kabuto froze under his robes, as the child approached. She looked young to be in the Academy, but as he paid attention, she saw her confident, calm look. He sat down again, trying to hide his form as best he could, as she sat near him.

Sasuke nodded in approval. Close enough to talk, but still giving Kabuto room to run if he had to, and under the street lights where she could be easily seen.

"Does it hurt?" she asked, looking down and fiddling with the grass.

"Y-yes." Kabuto answered, wearily but grateful she was not staring at him.

A large snake head slithered from a fold of his robes and looked at her.

"They're sad too."

"Huh?" Kabuto was startled.

"The snakes. They like you, but they're not free."

"I'm… I'm not free either." He lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Would you like to be?" She asked carefully.

Kabuto was still for a long time. Sasuke almost felt sympathy for the man.

"I can't. I have… I have done things. Bad things. To my body. And now they're part of me. I can't go back to what I was, can't separate myself from them anymore."

"Hn. I can. But you have to want to." Ishoo said, still fiddling with the grass.

Sasuke felt the same strange sensation he had felt when Ishoo had talked to him, long ago, the day they had met, and he tensed. He remembered…

' "I'll show you, but then I have to go back to being what I am now, or I won't be able to help, and you and Naruto won't be able to be my fathers. And I want that very much, Sasuke." '

He watched as the girl rose and closed her eyes. He felt something tugging at his gut as she started to breathe slowly.

Kabuto felt the earth tugging at him, felt the snake burrow in it, bracing itself. His body felt incredibly heavy, his head dizzy, but most of all he felt something almost like hope as the child offered her hand, so he took it.

Ishoo held his hand firmly, and pulled him slowly.

"Don't let go of my hand" Ishoo warned, sweating as she tugged him up.

Sasuke watched as Kabuto began screeching in pain, his head facing upwards, the snake markings slowly leaving his face as he was pulled up. He felt the world spin faster and faster, and hugged the tree where he stood with arms and legs for dear life.

Kabuto felt his whole body tear open as it was relentlessly pulled from both sides, as if the earth and the child were using him to play tug of war with.

'Maybe death in the hands of a child is a fitting end for someone who killed the child within himself' he mused, bracing his teeth to stop screaming. He could feel as if every single nerve of his body carried pain signals, and saw purple lights dancing in front of his eyes, heard his own heartbeat faultering, and tasted his coppery blood as the snake fangs retracted in his mouth.

Ishoo grunted as she pulled, her arm shaking with the effort, taking a step behind with each tug.

Sasuke saw the dark scaled flesh burrowing in the earth behind Kabuto as he was pulled up, the chakra pulsing through it as the snakes pulled themselves free from his body.

"One more, don't give in, onii-san!" Ishoo grunted.

Kabuto whimpered, unable to even scream, as he felt his chakra rip with the last titanic tug. He was up, and stumbled forward as he was pulled, falling on his knees in front of a tree stump.

A very large snake tail disappeared under the earth.

Sasuke let his body fall from the tree branch, rolled over and ran to where Ishoo was lying and panting on the ground.

He slowed as the child sat up and waved at him. She then moved to Kabuto and slapped his face softly.

"Onii-san?"

Sasuke touched Kabuto's shoulder, and the man whimpered, crying softly. His robes lay in tatters around him.

"Come on home, Ishoo-chan." He raised the man and threw him over his shoulder. "I'll help you out."

* * *

Kabuto began to come to his senses as he was manhandled under a shower. He gasped as a bucketful of freezing water was dropped on his head.

"HAHHFFFGGGGHHHHH!"

"Sorry, had to make sure you woke up" Sasuke said.

"Where… where am I?" Kabuto looked around at the room, trying to focus his eyes.

"My bathroom. I got some clean stuff you can wear after you're washed up."

"Sasuke-kun…" Kabuto muttered, still coming out of his shock.

"Papa, make sure he drinks his tea." Ishoo said from outside the bathroom, between yawns.

"That… that was…"

"My daughter." Sasuke pushed the cup on the med-nin's hands. "Drink that."

Kabuto gulped the hot tea, and Sasuke pulled him up.

"Can you stand on your feet?"

The med nin nodded weakly. Sasuke poured antiseptic soap on a washcloth and started scrubbing him furiously under the hot shower.

"Gonna have to wash the whole bathroom to get this muck out" he muttered.

"What… what happened?" Kabuto asked.

"You'll know when you get a good look at yourself. As for this… spread your legs. Urk, thank heavens for Sakura, no way regular soap would get THIS kind of stench out… consider it payment for when you saved my life."

Sasuke held him under the shower until the water ran clear under him, then turned off the water, dried him up briskly, and held the clothes up. He then rolled his eyes as the med-nin gave him a confused look, and dressed the man himself, heading him towards the main room afterwards.

"You sleep on the couch for tonight, we'll talk later".

* * *

Kabuto woke up and saw a small serious face studying him.

"Ohayo." The little girl said in a low voice. She was sitting on the coffee table, holding her face in her hands.

He blushed. "Oh… ohayo…?"

"Uchiha-Uzumaki Ishoo." She whispered, nodding at him. "Please keep quiet, Papa is sleeping."

'Uchiha-Uzumaki?' Kabuto made an effort to think. 'Yes, Sasuke mentioned a daughter, this must be her.'

"Hajimimashite, my name is Kabuto." He whispered through dry lips.

"Papa will make us breakfast when he gets up, won't be much longer now." She said in an even voice. "But first, tell me about the snake man."

* * *

Monifa watched as the boy slept, still as a stone. He sighed and threw the shells again, getting the same answer as the three previous times.

Time – his time – was at an end. He knew that, he had been living off the boy's energy since they had fled Swamp, and knew he had to finish his task before he could finally let go. Still, it was hard on him, taxing the boy like that.

He remembered the day the child had woken crying in the hut, two years ago. The day half of the boy's soul had been ripped, the half of him that had held many of his emotions, his hope, his sanity together through all he had gone through until then. Monifa had been prepared, had bathed him the night before in the right herbs, and had given him the tea that would shield his body from the temporary tear on his soul, but nothing could soothe the despair of feeling so incomplete, so alone.

He had held the boy until the tears stopped, the last tears he would shed until he was whole again, and watched, hiding his own pain as the boy's eyes went hard and emotionless, as his mind weighted with his duty and the slowing of his body's energy.

Monifa wanted to take to the air, to fly as fast as the wind, to take the boy to the only family that he could ever have faster, but he knew he could not do it, and the knowledge hurt. But he had chosen to fulfill his task.

Patience, he mused, was a painful virtue to keep.

* * *

Kabuto tried to raise himself on the couch, and fell back with a grunt. He felt as weak as a newborn, and the motion had made him drowsy. He heard the soft patter of running feet fading away, along with everything else.

He woke up to a tangy, extremely salty taste in his mouth. He grimaced.

"It's umeboshi. Chew and swallow, I've pitted it for you. It should keep you up long enough for breakfast to be ready." Sasuke said, and went back to the kitchen.

"As for you," he pointed at his daughter, who was sitting on the kitchen counter "good call." He smiled.

She kept a serious face. "Papa."

"Yes?" He asked, putting the kettle on, and grabbing a large iron skillet.

"I have to know about the snake man."

He turned around.

"What?"

"Not him. The other one. The snakes that went away yesterday were afraid."

Sasuke dropped the skillet and stalked purposely to the couch. He grabbed Kabuto by the shirt collar.

"Where is Orochimaru?"

"Papa…" Ishoo sighed and put her hands on her face.

Kabuto looked at him, then at the little girl, completely confused and still groggy.

"In prison?" He muttered. Sasuke let him drop back on the couch and ran his hands through his hair.

He wanted to think straight, but the mere mention of Orochimaru by his daughter had sunk in his guts like a bag of ice. He paced around the room, oblivious to the insistent tugs on his t-shirt.

Ishoo rolled her eyes, walked to the kitchen, grabbed the skillet, walked back, stood on the coffee table and whacked her father's back as he passed, using all her considerable strength and effectively knocking him face down on the floor.

"Can you hear me now?" She asked. Sasuke nodded and sat down, effectively stunned out of his panic-induced hysteria.

"Good. Go make breakfast."

Kabuto watched, fascinated, as Sasuke got up, took the skillet and went back to the kitchen without protesting. He tried sitting up again, found that he could, and turned around to see the child walk away into a room.

"How old is she? Six? Seven?" He asked in a tentative voice.

"Four." Sasuke grumbled as he made omelet and toast.

"Like Itachi." Kabuto remarked, and said in an afterthought "Sorry.".

"Hn. She's better." Sasuke pushed a plate on Kabuto's hands. "Eat. We have to go to Tsunade."


	9. Chapter 9

Naruto's entourage entered the Land of Wind and stopped at a small village to rest. It had been a month since he had received news from Konoha, and he was relieved as he saw a nin-courier walking his way. He picked up the letters and sent a stack of his own to be delivered.

Shikamaru came to his room later.

"Any news?" He asked.

"Lemme see… a letter for the Anbu escort, that's for Sai… another for the trade negotiators…" Naruto grinned lecherously while handing a parcel to Shika "orders for Mr. Slave…"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and took the parcel from Temari.

"Ah, Tsunade baa-chan's." He gave the letter to Shikamaru, who rolled his eyes yet again, cracked the seal with a kunai and began to read.

"To Uzumaki Naruto, envoy… you know, reading your own orders now and again wouldn't hurt…" He slid eyes down the paper and grunted as he read. 'Damn, Naruto is gonna go apeshit.' he thought.

"Let me give the letters to Sai, I'll be right back." He grabbed the Anbu parcel and ran as soon as he closed the door.

"Sai! Sai!" He called out when he reached the lobby. "Come up and help me restrain Naruto." He whispered to the newly appointed Anbu captain as he came closer.

Sai nodded and followed him upstairs without asking anything. Naruto frowned when he saw Sai approach and open the window shutters behind him, letting the sunlight in.

Shikamaru quickly formed the seals and took hold of Naruto's shadow. Sai grabbed Naruto from behind.

"What the fuck?" Naruto gasped.

"STAY CALM. Orochimaru escaped." Shikamaru held fast on his jutsu.

Naruto's chakra rolled like a hurricane in the room. "MY FAMILY!" He roared.

"I SAID STAY CALM, DAMN IT!"

Sai hung on to Naruto for dear life. Shikamaru shook all over with the effort of holding him still.

"They're going to Suna, we'll meet them there! CALM THE FUCK DOWN, NARUTO! THEY ARE FINE!"

Sai saw a letter with the brand-new Uchiha-Uzumaki seal (the Uchiha fan with the Uzumaki swirl in its center) flying and reached out to grab it on pure reflex. "Naruto! Naruto! They sent you a letter!" He waved the letter in front of him desperately while repeating the phrase on Naruto's ear, wincing from his burning chakra.

Naruto came to his senses and grabbed the letter in the exact moment Shikamaru's jutsu gave out.

'Naruto,

DON'T FUCKING FRET.

We are fine, and going to Suna under cover as a precaution. Kakashi, Hinata and Kabuto are going with us. Orochimaru is still weak, we have time. Kiba and Ashi-chan will be acting as decoys for us at home.

DO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID. Trust me.

We'll meet you soon.

Sasuke'

He took a long breath, and turned to the other side of the paper.

'Tou-chan,

Don't worry. I'm much bigger. I can take care of Papa.

Love you,

Ishoo'

There was a picture of her standing next to Sasuke, and she really had grown like a beanstalk. She looked about four years older than she really was.

He looked up at Sai.

"I know. Be patient. We will meet them in two weeks." Sai said, and hugged him.

* * *

Orochimaru headed for the one hideout he had never taken Sasuke to. He had known the Uchiha whelp would want him contained after the war, but trusted his arrogance, and a measure of gratefulness from Naruto, to prevent his death.

As always, he was right. The boy was arrogant, and arrogance was a form of stupidity that Orochimaru could use.

He licked his lips thinking of Sasuke's Rinnegan and Sharingan. Soon, they would be his.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Monifa stared at Amachi. They had found a tiny oasis, and the old man filled water skins.

"Are you sure you can take traveling during the day too, child?"

"We have to" the boy answered, while tying up a makeshift cushion made from a rough sack filled with sand on the ox's back. "The snake is coming. It's not safe to stop anymore." He finished setting it up as the ox drank greedily from the spring.

"This should help you not to hurt so much." The boy helped his master up.

Monifa sighed. So much for patience.

Kakashi was impressed with Ishoo's resilience. The child took to traveling from tree to tree easily enough even without depending on chakra, after a few rough falls, and was able to shoulder the pain in her ankle, which must have been twisted somewhere earlier, better than most genin; however, it was swollen, and turning an alarming purple. That would become a huge problem in the desert, and they were almost there.

He got down and called for a stop. Sasuke had to actually pull her kicking and complaining down the tree.

"Why did we stop? I'm not slowing you down!"

"Ishoo-chan, your ankle is hurt badly; we have to fix it now." Kakashi said with one of his eye-smiles. The brat kicked his shin with her injured foot, and he hissed, grabbing it.

"See! Not that bad. It will fix by itself, let's GO!" she was already climbing on a tree using two kunai for balance, and obviously favoring her uninjured foot. Sasuke patiently picked the protesting child off it and sat down, trying his best to hold her still.

"Papa STOP IT! LEMME GO!"

"Ishoo-chan, let Kabuto look at it, when we get to the desert it will only get worse." Hinata tried to reason.

"NO! Lemme GO! You can't fix it ANYWAY!" Ishoo spit out in shame and anger.

Hinata and Sasuke sighed and closed their eyes.

Kabuto sat in front of her, with his first aid kit.

"Ishoo-chan, let me try to help."

She stilled, panting, red as a tomato and spilling frustrated tears.

"You can't help me. I don't have chakra. You can't fix me because I'm different." She said through her teeth. Sasuke hugged her closer.

"Maaaah, maybe I can do something." They all looked up at Kakashi, who pushed Kabuto to the side and sat facing the angry child.

"Everyone in Anbu has to train dealing with injuries without using chakra. It hurts – much more than your kick hurt my shin, I'm happy to say – but it works, and after an hour or so you'll be able to continue without losing your foot to gangrene by the time we reach Suna. But you have to promise not to scream. Deal?"

She nodded with a determined face.

'She looks so much like Naruto with that face, it's scary. But she behaves like Sasuke when she's in pain.' he thought. He pulled out a hankie from a pocket.

"Bite on this as hard as you can. Kabuto, get a glucose shot ready for her afterwards to avoid shock. Sasuke, brace her knee and" he smiled "don't hit me."

He caught her bare foot and inspected the twist. Definitely some badly dislocated bones there. He heated his hands and held her foot.

"I'm gonna pull now. Look away if you have to, but brace yourself and don't move."

She nodded again, closing her eyes and biting hard on the cloth.

Kakashi pulled with his right hand, feeling for the joints with his left. Hinata looked away as the girl shuddered and whimpered, but kept still as Kakashi moved the bones back into place, working as fast as he could.

It took five minutes of twisting and turning, but eventually everything was back in place. He massaged her foot to get the blood flowing, while Kabuto quickly gave her the injection.

"See?" Kakashi said, removing the cloth from her mouth. "We're not that useless."

She turned at him, her eyes almost totally green with pain and shame. "I never said that." She panted.

He chuckled. "I know. And I know you're different. But everyone is different. I am. Your Papa is. Your Tou-chan is. Being different doesn't mean you can't ask for help, it doesn't mean we can't at least try to help you. And it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

* * *

Later, while the girl napped for a few minutes, Sasuke gave him a smirk.

"I owe you one."

"Don't worry about that, it hurt her a lot more than me. And I've dealt with enough shit from you and Naruto to expect your brat to be anything different."

Sasuke snorted, almost laughing.

"I still don't know why we have to go to Suna" Kabuto said in a meek voice. "There are many more people to protect you in Konoha."

"Because Naruto will reach Suna faster than Konoha." The other three said at the same time.

"But… you didn't have to warn him beforehand." Kabuto argued. "You are exposing yourselves to other dangers beside Orochimaru by traveling."

"Naruto can wield nature energy" Sasuke explained. "That works on Ishoo-chan; she cut herself badly while training once and it healed the wound. We can't have our daughter exposed to danger without help if she gets seriously hurt. Orochimaru won't hesitate to use her to get to me. And other threats… we can deal with them."

"Besides" Kakashi said "If Naruto got back to Konoha to learn that Orochimaru escaped without him being told…"

"He would go crazy" Hinata completed.

"Orochimaru is in no state to cause so much trouble yet." Kabuto stated, inwardly wondering if he could still use senjutsu. He hadn't ever thought of using it for healing.

"He doesn't have to. If he caught my daughter, I'd happily rip out my guts and hand them to him on a platter for her release." Sasuke said darkly.

* * *

Information was always costly, but Orochimaru had gathered enough currency at his hidden lair to pay for it.

He read the report with a glint in his eye.

'So… the Kyuubi is on its way to Suna, Sasuke-kun is sitting patiently with his brat even though by this time Tsunade-Hime knows I'm gone, and Kabuto hasn't been seen for a week? What do they think I am, an idiot?'

He laughed at the feeble attempt to fool him.

'This time, Sasuke-kun, you will not find me as… conveniently impaired as last time.' he thought.

* * *

Naruto's entourage had met a sandstorm heads on the previous night, and was stranded for almost twenty-four hours. The man was going crazy with anxiety, and dragging everyone else along with him.

"Stupid desert! Stupid heat! Stupid sand!" He kicked around while hurried ninjas raised camp around him.

"Shikamaru!" He yelled. The aforementioned walked to him with a tired face.

"I can't do this no more, man, can't sit around waiting on my ass while twenty people have to stop at every single little thing that gets on our way. I'm going ahead alone." Naruto said angrily.

Shikamaru groaned. He knew this was coming.

"Fine. But you have to take at least one Anbu tracker with you, or else you'll get lost, baka."

Naruto nodded, and twenty long minutes later, of which half were used to find a tracker that could run fast enough for Naruto's liking, five were used by the tracker to get his backpack, and another five were spent with Naruto chewing out said tracker for being slow while the tracker tried to find his way with the map, they were off.

* * *

Three adult figures ran like hell trying to accompany the rhythm of a frenzied child.

After half a dozen tumbles in the soft sand, they stopped and reluctantly took their sandals off. Their heavier weight couldn't stop sand from pooling in their shoes and making their feet slip inside them, and the speed they had to reach (none of them would dare admit defeat to a child) made slipping a dangerous business.

As they climbed a dune, Kabuto slipped and fell.

"Kakashi! Sasuke!" Hinata screamed, trying to help the exhausted med-nin up.

Both men looked behind.

"Go help them!" Sasuke growled, still running.

Kakashi ran back to Hinata and helped her get the med-nin up.

"Can you still walk?" He asked Kabuto, who nodded.

"Good. Hinata, help him get there, we're less than an hour away. We'll send help when we reach the gates." Hinata nodded as Kakashi turned and ran again.

'Gods damn, how fast can this kid go?' he thought. Ishoo was almost out of reach already.

* * *

Naruto had long ago left the tracker Anbu behind; he followed his guts, which were leading him towards Ishoo's energy signature.

He had been running wildly for most of the day in Sage mode; the sun was already low in the horizon.

He stopped for a breath and continued running.

* * *

The ox had died the night before. It had let out a wail and fallen, panting heavily.

Monifa had watched as the boy hugged the animal and cut the bonds that held its soul, thanking it as the mushi took it away.

"You should use the blood, Amachi." He said quietly.

The boy shook his head.

"They are too close. I can't risk it."

Monifa knew better than to argue with the boy on that one. He had nodded and climbed on the boy's back.

They were close now. Monifa could feel the energy signatures nearing them, a large and bright asè, separated but with all its chakra components, coming from the left, a huge wave of life from the right, with defined chakra signatures close behind it. He felt the boy trembling under him, his physical life force almost spent, all his wounds bursting open with the effort of holding Monifa's weight, his feet slowing down no matter how much the boy cursed and willed them faster.

He shuddered inwardly.

* * *

Sasuke willed all his chakra on his feet, trying to keep up with Ishoo. They could already see the top of Suna's tallest tower.

"Papa! Keep running! Don't stop until you reach me!" She yelled out, and pushed her energy forward. She could feel her Tou-chan's energy almost touching hers. As she reached the top of a dune, she jumped and caught it.

Sasuke saw his daughter flash yellow and disappear.

* * *

Naruto crashed into the boy carrying the old man with full force, tumbling the three of them over.

"Watch it, you" he began, felt a strong tug at his energy, and got knocked back as Ishoo collided with him, tearing her forehead on his headband.

"Ishoo-chan!" he called out.

"No time! Aniki!" she replied, jumping to Amachi's side. The boy gave her a grateful smile, and kissed her bloody forehead, as she offered it, with his cracked, bleeding lips.

Naruto watched dumbfounded as his daughter's and the boy's eyes went blank, and both fell unconscious.

He felt sick and his legs felt heavy, and he crawled over to where the children lay still, the old man having gotten off the boy's back.

"What… what's happening?" he asked.

"Be still, it will get better presently. She took my weight from him, and shares the link with you so he has a chance to survive until we reach a hospital." The man said with a cracked voice.

Naruto lied down beside the children, lest he pass out, and took a look at the newcomers. The old man wasn't old, he was positively **ancient**. Naruto couldn't remember ever hearing about anyone that old, let alone seeing one in the flesh. The man was so black he was almost blue, with a few wisps of yellowed-white hair on his head and his face, and so thin Naruto could play a tune on his ribs. He had slipped off the boy's back and was sitting beside the children, his wrists and ankles marked by manacles.

The boy was in a similarly horrible shape, without manacle marks, but as thin as the old man, and blood trickled from everywhere on his back. His skin was brown, as dark as Sasuke's coffee. His frizzled hair was bleached red from the sun.

"Naruto!" He heard Sasuke scream, and sat down, feeling a little better.

"Get Gaara! NOW!" He yelled back. Sasuke nodded and turned to Suna's gates, from where guards were already running.

* * *

Kano was raised from his sleep in the medic's lounge by rough hands.

"Lucky day, boyo! The Kazekage demanded for you personally, run to the tower now!" the orderly shout on his ear, as he grudgingly got up.

'Shit.' He thought, and started running.

* * *

Gaara lowered the sand carrying the three injured in front of the Kazekage's tower. A full team of medics were already there, with stretches. Kano speeded up as he saw the old man.

"Ojiji, what do I do?" he asked.

"Abo*… fresh, cold. Neck down. Both of them. Fluids. No blood." Monifa whispered weakly, handing him a small coarse woven pouch.

"Not even the boy?" Kono asked again.

"Especially not him. Mind his back. Hurry."

Sasuke helped Naruto inside. The blonde felt dizzy still, but less sick. Both of them saw as a dark-skinned medic carefully took off the boy's robe, turning him on his stomach and wincing as he saw the boy's backside.

His blood-covered skin was covered in deep lashes and gouges, all the way down to his knees.

"I'll prepare a transfusion." A nurse murmured, shocked.

"No." Kano said. "Get me a basin, china or earthenware, and fresh cold water. Now. GO!" He snarled the rest.

Naruto got closer to the medic, who was now cleaning the boy's wounds.

"Who… how…" he asked, wide-eyed.

"Swamp. Don't ask me how these poor souls have survived this. Now get out and let me work, please."

As they were heading out, a trembling, ancient hand covered his.

"They will be fine. They are complete now. You will feel better when they take the abo." Monifa said in a cracked voice.

A nurse shoved them out of the room.

* * *

Gaara led them to the guest quarters.

"Your daughter will be fine. Kano is a fine doctor, and he knows how to treat them. His grandmother came from across the ocean." He stopped as they reached their quarters.

"Rest here. We'll get you some fresh clothes, and food. I will call you personally when you can see her."

"Gaara… who the fuck does THAT to a little kid and an old man?" Naruto asked, his face pale.

"We… we have heard rumors from Swamp. Apparently, they have sailed across the ocean, searching for slaves." Gaara said quietly.

Even Sasuke was mortified. Gaara interrupted him as he tried to speak. "No use now, Sasuke. Let the medics do their work."

* * *

Kakashi, Kabuto, Hinata and the tracker Anbu were shown to their own rooms, in a lower level with communal bathrooms at the end of the hall. They went into one of the rooms and sat on the beds.

"I heard what those poor people that Naruto rescued went through. What kind of scum does that to children and elderly people?" Hinata asked.

"Scum like Orochimaru." Kabuto said, and grimaced. "Though he used to drug people before experimenting on them." He added.

"I wonder if the Godaime has been hearing the same rumors." Kakashi said in a tired voice. 'I'm seriously getting too old for this shit' he thought.

"Actually, after the war it would be a politically sound idea to get slaves from across the ocean." Kabuto mused. "It's off the boundaries of any of the elemental countries; there would be no reason for repercussions."

"But… but slavery is wrong." Hinata said.

"Half your family is enslaved by the other half, Hinata." Kabuto retorted softly.

She blushed. "It's still wrong."

"Maaaaaah… we should get some rest and forget about it for now. It's not a problem for us plebes to solve, anyway." Kakashi yawned, getting up and going for his pack. "I'm going for a shower. Need help, Kabuto?"

**A/N**: Abo is the yoruba name for a ritual herb bath, usually taken to adjust someone's energies, or to repel evil spirits. It can be either fresh made or rested for a set amount of time, and either cold or hot (when the herbs are infused in hot water), depending on the herbs used.


	10. Chapter 10

Naruto groaned as Sasuke started dragging him off the bed. Both of them had collapsed on it as soon as they got in the room, but the sand from traveling in the desert had made rest impossible. For Sasuke, anyway.

"Get up dobe, I can't lie down in sandpaper."

Naruto stayed still. "Five fucking months slaving my ass away, two weeks running for your life and the first thing you want when we're able to rest is to go bathe first. Gods damn prissy Uchiha-hime." He groaned.

Sasuke glared at him. "If you don't get off this bed right this minute, I'll coat my fist in sand and fuck you with it."

Naruto decided to get up before Sasuke started having more ideas.

The room had a private bathroom, with a shower and a tub.

"Holy shit, we got the Kage suite!" Naruto was wide-eyed.

"Wait, what do you mean Kage suite? It's not that luxurious." Sasuke said, sounding unimpressed.

"Sasuke, there's a tub in a private bathroom in the middle of the fucking desert. And I'm supposed to be the dobe." Naruto chuckled, while undressing.

"Hn." Sasuke blushed in embarrassment for the slip, and began undressing himself. Sand poured in rivulets from his clothing.

"How the hell did you get so much sand on yourself anyway? I ran as much as you and don't have half of it on my clothes." Naruto asked while turning on the shower as Sasuke closed the bathroom door.

"Falling over stupid dunes trying to match Ishoo-chan's speed; you should see Kakashi, he'll be shitting sand for a week. It only got better when we got barefoot. By the way, how the fuck did she come up with Flying Thunder God technique without chakra and seals? She was running like hell and then she flashed yellow just like you and the Fourth."

"I think she grabbed hold of the nature energy in Sage mode or something, all I know is one moment she wasn't there, the other she barreled headfirst into my headpiece." Naruto started scrubbing his hair.

"May Your Excellency move off the shower head? I got sand in my damn ear." Sasuke growled.

Naruto grabbed his waist and pulled him closer instead.

"I missed you, asshole." He kissed Sasuke softly. Sasuke leaned into the kiss while trying to get under the water at the same time. Naruto laughed.

"Can you stop washing yourself for a second? I'm trying to have a romantic moment here, teme!"

"My ass wants to have a romantic moment with you too, but sand itches." Sasuke smirked at him.

Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll go wait for you in the bed." He got off the shower.

"Oi, get rid of the top sheet, and don't shake it on the floor!"

Naruto smiled as he left the bathroom. He found fresh clothes on a table near the window, and a fresh sheet on the bed.

He lied down wondering why the hell he hadn't noticed the foreign chakra, and closed his eyes. Heh, no biggie.

He jumped to a sitting position.

'No biggie? The fuck am I thinking?' he thought. 'Orochimaru is after Sasuke, my daughter is out cold, why in hell am I not concerned?'

He tried to focus on his emotions, but all he could feel at the moment was safe, calm and content. And horny.

Sasuke came off the bathroom drying his hair with the towel, looking perfectly relaxed and at ease.

Naruto tried to be scared.

"Sasuke." He said in a careful voice.

"Yeah, dobe?" Sasuke replied in a relaxed voice.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Sasuke looked at him questioningly.

"What do you mean? We're together, everything is fine!" he lied down on the bed beside Naruto.

His eyes widened. "Oh." He activated the Sharingan. "It's not a Genjutsu."

"It sure doesn't fell like one. It feels… different." Naruto was trying to think.

"Even Mugen Tsukuyomi didn't work like this. It feels… peaceful. Happy. Safe… soft. But not a dream." Sasuke agreed. "What do the beasts say about it?"

Naruto concentrated. Sasuke activated the Sharingan and tagged along into his mind.

'Wake up in there, what the hell is going on here?' Naruto asked the dozing beasts.

'Chill out, nothing is happening, bro.' Gyuuki chuckled.

'Of course something is happening, Orochimaru is out there, Ishoo-chan is sick down at the infirmary!' Sasuke tried to sound angry.

'Ishoo-chan is fine, they both are stable and just sleeping to recover. And Orochimaru?' the beast laughed loudly. 'Orochimaru is just a dead man walking. Want a good advice? Stop fearing the dead and enjoy this. For the moment, at least, everything is just dandy.'

They let themselves out and looked at each other.

"What do you think?" Sasuke asked.

"I think… we will want to talk to that old man. But" Naruto sighed, and took Sasuke in his arms. "later. Right now, I feel just too happy and horny to do anything but you."

It started with slow, deep kisses, their tongues not battling, but lazily dancing in each other's mouth. They touched each other taking time to feel every little thing: curves, indentations, small marks, the scars in Sasuke's skin and the roughness in Naruto's unshaven face.

"Hmmmmmmm" Sasuke nibbled at a bristle in Naruto's jaw. "I think I like the idea of you growing a beard."

Naruto smiled and ran his unshaven chin down Sasuke's face and neck, earning a long moan and an interested twitch in the hardness against his groin.

"Yeah, definitely keep the beard." Sasuke whispered and pinched Naruto's nipple as reinforcement. He then turned around, still touching, kissing and licking.

"What are you doing?"

"No oils or creams or lube around, and no way I'm either fucking your ass or letting you fuck mine with just spit after days of wading through dry sand. Tsunade, Sakura and you can heal quick, I can't."

"Oh." Naruto made a face. Sasuke started licking his torso again. "Oh." Naruto moaned and began reciprocating.

They licked and sucked and grabbed and pressed against each other, Sasuke moaning loudly or shivering every time Naruto rubbed his rough chin on him.

"Fuck, if I knew not shaving would make you so sexy I would have thrown the razor out a long time ago" Naruto growled, rubbing his face on Sasuke's inner thigh.

Sasuke responded by pulling his thigh up to serve as a pillow. Naruto did the same for him, and rewarded his teme by nibbling at the base of his cock.

He gasped as his own was taken by greedy, warm, wet lips, thrusting forward in reflex and swallowing Sasuke's.

They played with slits, and sucked, and pressed their bodies together, writhing and moving ever faster, and slept when they were finally spent.

* * *

They woke up with knocking on the door. Naruto disentangled himself from Sasuke slowly, and got dressed in the light, airy pants and shirt provided earlier.

Sasuke sighed and stretched himself on the bed while Naruto answered the door, unwilling to get up.

"Time to talk to the old man downstairs, lazypants." Naruto pulled his big toe.

"Hmmmmm." Sasuke put a pillow on his face. "I haven't slept this well since you left Konoha."

"Me neither, but we can sleep more later." Naruto laughed as Sasuke pretended to snore loudly. "Come on, before I tell Temari you can give Shikamaru a run for his money on being lazy." He dodged the pillow Sasuke threw at him while standing up and reaching for clothes.

The old man was sitting serenely on his bed when they got there. He smiled at them and motioned to the two chairs next to the bed.

Naruto opened his mouth and the man raised his hand.

"I know what you came to ask, and your curiosity will be sated." Naruto shuffled in his chair and took Sasuke's hand in his.

"In this land, the mythology of how the world was created has been mostly lost, due to the events that created chakra, isn't it?" The old man asked.

They both nodded, and Monifa resumed talking.

"The first thing the gods gave this world, was freedom. And freedom it was, because it was the first thing that they were themselves granted, as they came into being, when the Universe was born."

"Everything – every particle, every wave – is free, in this universe. And because everything is free, every single thing resonates to everything else as it sees fit. It is the interaction among different things freely striving to be that creates the forces, the "laws" of nature."

"When we see a bee hive from the outside, the queen seems to rule without question, the workers seem to be enslaved. But every single bee makes their own decisions, from when they are larva. They can grow to be workers, or queens. Many decide to be queens, and most of them die, because to make that choice is to rely on other's free will to feed them more than the other larvae, or not. Some, however, thrive and either challenge the hive's reigning queen in battle or leave the hive to form their own."

"They only survive to do so because someone else, by their own free will, decided to sacrifice their time, and work, to feed them more."

"This freedom is what my people call asè. It is the power to make things happen, to change, and it exists on everything, from the soil we stand on, the water we drink, to the words we say. And when the first tiny little atoms that make life as we know it came together, and danced, and coupled, and the first spark of life shone in this world, the gods saw fit to give them a fountain of it, so life would be free to grow and develop with no interference. The first was planted in the middle of the world, so the asè could seep into the waters of the ocean from below."

"As this world's lands separated and formed the two continents we have now, and life moved into dry lands, the gods planted two asè fountains. One of them was the Shinju tree. The other was its twin, in the land I come from. As life evolved, every thousand years the trees put forth a fruit, that matured, fell, was consumed by the earth, and its energy was then distributed through the cycle of nature to all living and non-living things."

"When the first humans emerged from the ancestry line that birthed us, the gods that were trusted with watching over the energies of life and death took human form, and warned our ancestors to not consume the fruit of the Shinju trees, to leave it as a present from the gods to feed the soil. And so it was done, until one thousand years ago."

Sasuke made a face. Monifa nodded to him, and continued.

"One thousand years ago, as the fruit of the Shinju matured, something happened that thinned the boundary between this universe and another. As they are also living beings, universes interact, but not all of them develop the same way this one did. And when the borders thinned, a being from the other universe was drawn to this world."

Naruto looked at Sasuke, then at the old man. "I KNEW it! That's why the Sage said 'more or less' when I asked him if he was an alien!"

Sasuke nodded and groaned. He had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"Yes. The being saw how free – and, because of that freedom, how violent in its interactions amongst each other – the humans could be, and was horrified by it, because, in her own universe, freedom did not exist, and, as such, neither did wars, or violence. So, when told about the fruit, the being ate it. But her body, not being of this universe, could not digest the energy as it was, so it broke the asè in pieces. Those pieces are what you use as chakra. I believe you know the rest of this part of the story."

They nodded.

Monifa smiled kindly and continued.

"The gods, seeing what was happening here, and to prevent the same happening in my continent, destroyed the tree and infused the fruit's raw energy on the existing souls that agreed, when asked, to serve as fountains or conduits of asè, to keep all living beings equal in spiritual power. The fountain souls became mushi, spirits of nature, or ibeji, souls with two faces who can live in the material and spiritual sides of the world at the same time; and the conduit souls were given the power to work the mushi's energy, while dead, and, when alive, to contact the gods and the dead, or let either express through their bodies, so they could help those in need and thus keep the spiritual and material forces balanced, protecting the processes that allow freedom to keep existing."

Naruto intervened then. "That's why your people work like the Sennin baa-chan told me you do."

"Yes. And balance of a kind was kept through the centuries in my continent. As time passed, free will moved people from some of the countries away from the gods, and those developed grand technologies, while some others kept closer to natural processes. Wars were fought, but they were always fought by people who, individually, were equal to each other. Nations, despite our differences, were never more or less powerful by any means the others could not achieve by effort alone, so no individuals were ever so powerful as to threaten the entire world. All this time, we have mostly kept to ourselves, though a few of our most adventurous have found their way to this continent, for peaceful purposes."

Sasuke covered his face. "And then Madara came." He said behind his hands.

"Yes. And when Madara made his plan, the gods saw a possibility to restore balance and thus return asè to the people from this part of the world as well."

"But Madara was going to kill everyone, how would the gods stop that?" Naruto asked in a confused tone. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet.

Monifa chuckled.

"Seven years ago, a dying woman from one of the countries that shied away from the gods got pregnant."

He took a sip of water.

"When the woman saw that the technology in her country could not save her in time to birth her child, she secretly went to a village in the neighboring country, where the old traditions were still kept, and begged for help. The priest consulted the gods and the response he got was a positive one, but it had a sort of price."

Naruto frowned at that.

"You see, the cycle of life involves two different wavelength ranges of energy that overlap each other: one goes from the moment of conception to the moment of death, and the other from the moment the body begins to die to the moment the nervous system of the embryo is formed. Thus, the spiritual and material worlds are balanced. The god of death decided that, in order to keep the woman alive, an ibeji child would share her womb with hers. The ibeji's body would grow by consuming the disease in the woman's body and replacing it with lifeforce, and that would allow for the other child and its mother to live. The "price" to pay would be that the woman would give birth to the ibeji, a month after her own child was born, and send it to the village to be cared for by the priests."

"However, when her child was born and her husband discovered she was still pregnant, he forced her to confess to the pact she had done; and deeming it evil, he took her to the border between both countries, cut her hands and feet off, and hung her body by the side of the road, her slow death to serve as an example to others who tried to do the same."

"But the child survived." Sasuke was able to connect the dots.

"Yes. The next day, a wandering priest passed by and saw her hanging, but still alive. He helped her; she gave birth to the ibeji, and thanked it for its service in saving her child, then died."

"You were the priest" Naruto stated in a serious voice. "And the child…"

"Is Amachi, the boy who brought me here." Monifa nodded. "I took him with me and raised him during my travels under service to the gods. And then, two years ago, they warned me to prepare his body, for his soul was also needed somewhere else. It would work as a vessel of living asè."

"And that's Ishoo-chan." Sasuke said.

"Yes. The gods gave their own asè to make her body; as Madara would certainly feed on the chakra of everyone under the Mugen Tsukuyomi in his madness to keep it working, her soul – the other face of Amachi's – would replace the stolen chakra with her body's essence, thus saving their lives."

"But then she would have died!" Naruto retorted.

"The body dying would have no consequence, because her soul is his soul too. It would return to the other body and they would be complete again. But then we all screwed everything up." Sasuke said slowly. "Why didn't anyone say something?"

"Why, because your people, as everything and everyone, are free, of course." Monifa blinked at them.

"But then why go through all that trouble in the first place?"

Monifa blinked again, then smiled.

"My child, one effect of being free is that others cannot predict everything you do. The gods didn't know how things would end; all they did was give you one way out of extinction. You chose another."

Naruto shook his head. "I don't follow."

Sasuke poked him in the head. "That's because you're a dobe, usuratonkachi." He turned to Monifa. "That doesn't explain how the both of you ended up here."

"Shortly after your war, the land we were in was invaded by people from your Land of Swamp. They captured many people, adult women and men mostly, but also me and a few other elders, to keep the rest alive on the ship, because of the difference of our bodies. Amachi hid amongst the captured. I believe his twin can hide, too."

Naruto nodded his head.

"Even with our care, many died on the trip. And when we were brought to land, we elders were thrown together in a cage apart from the rest, with no food. Amachi was able to gather that they had decided to weed out the weakest of us by starvation, so eventually we would kill and eat each other; the last surviving one would be then amenable to teaching our medicine to others, and then the young adults would be kept alive enough time to work as slaves and to reproduce."

The old man lowered his head.

"Some time after that, the other elders decided that in order to save our brethren they would sacrifice themselves, so I and Amachi could escape to find his half and stop the slave trade. With that decision made, Amachi offered to serve as bait to distract the Swamp ninja soldiers as the elders prepared to feed him their death's energy, with which he could take me and flee the country."

Naruto nodded. Sasuke felt a knot on his stomach as his dobe spoke, with a broken voice.

"That's how the boy got beat up that bad."

"Yes. He ran through the compound in which we were held in plain sight, letting himself be captured, and the soldiers decided to whip him to death in front of us all, as a lesson. When the soldiers gathered and turned to watch, my fellow elders sacrificed themselves with hidden herbs that would poison them and allow for Amachi to reach for the energy released by their dying bodies. He then freed himself, summoned a death mushi, took away the souls from the elder's bodies and from some of the still living soldiers, and we escaped amidst the panic that ensued." The last was said in a small voice, while tears dropped from the man's ancient face.

"How do you know the others weren't killed?" Sasuke asked with his head down.

"I do not. However, if the ibeji can stop Swamp from going back to our continent and taking more and more people, and thus prevent a possible war, much more… imbalance can be prevented. The country we were taken from is small and nature-oriented, but… other nations in our continent have enough power to make what Madara did look like child's play, and they would not hesitate to use it, if they felt their freedom threatened. Not even if it meant extinction for all humans; for freedom is the foundation of life for all of us, even those who have distanced themselves from the gods."

The last weighted on the air, as Monifa took a long breath.

"What now?" Naruto whispered, with his head held low.

"Now… the two parts of the one soul are together. The medic that treated us told me that you have adopted the female. That… does not obligate you to her. Neither of them would ever compromise your, or anyone's, freedom. They are both children and would suffer, but their soul is ancient and strong. They can survive and mature to do what is needed by themselves… if that is your wish." Monifa gave them a side glance, and surreptitiously crossed his fingers.

Sasuke felt angry tears come to his eyes, but said nothing. He squeezed Naruto's hand.

Naruto felt a nudge on the back of his mind.

'It's not fair' he thought in response.

'_To who, kit?_' Kurama muttered. '_To you? To Sasuke?_'

'To Ishoo-chan as well. She was all alone, and she chose us to be her parents, stupid fox.'

'_You say this like you have to abandon her to her fate._'

'But you heard what the old man said!'

'_Yes, he said you are not __**obligated**__ to her. That you are __**allowed**__ to leave. Not that you __**have**__ to, baka-yarou. Don't you play with me, you aren't that dense._' The fox snarled.

'We don't even know the boy. He doesn't know us. He's killed people.'

'_Yes you do. He is the exact same person your daughter is. That is what being one soul means. As for killing people…' the fox laughed bitterly. 'Sasuke killed many, his own brother amongst them. I have lost count how many people I've killed, your mother and father included. Neither of us has killed for reasons half as noble as that boy has. And you have not only forgiven me and Sasuke; you have become my best friend, and taken him as your mate. If you decide to abandon those children, it will be on __**your**__ shoulders alone, for __**your**__ convenience._'

'That is not fair!'

'_Freedom has nothing to do with fairness, kit. This is a decision you have to make based solely on what you want for yourself_.'

'What about Sasuke's say in this? I can't decide this by myself!'

The fox snorted. '_Your mate has already made his. But he will abide by yours on this one, kit._'

Naruto opened his eyes to see the old man lying in the bed, apparently asleep. Sasuke wasn't in the room.

He went out and saw Sasuke leaning just inside of the adjacent room's threshold. He went over through the empty corridor and hugged him from behind.

"Do you want them both?" Naruto asked quietly, watching the two sleeping children inside the room.

"You don't have to do this." Sasuke sighed. "I won't hold it against you. I won't leave you either. But yes, I do."

Naruto looked at Amachi. The boy had been laid down on his side, facing the door. His dark face was peaceful, his features as hauntingly beautiful as Sasuke's, almost ethereal in his sleep. He looked at his daughter, who slept with her back to them, facing him.

"She never asked us anything like this." He said, bitterly.

"She knows your nindo, Naruto. What you give to her… them, you give freely, or not at all."

"I don't know if I like this freedom, Sasuke. It hurts."

Sasuke nodded and put his hands over Naruto's. "Like hell. I know, I've swore by it all my life. Done the stupidest things because of it. Hurt everyone I ever loved with it, especially you. Killed Itachi and almost killed myself and you a bunch of times for it. But I wouldn't be here without it, either. Wouldn't be who I am. So, despite how much it hurts, I still treasure it."

"But you're willing to forfeit it in this."

"Because you need me to. All your life you have done for others. Have lived for others. This… this one time, you have to choose for yourself alone."

Naruto sighed and buried his nose in Sasuke's hair. Choosing to adopt Ishoo had been easier; she was a lovely child, with no apparent tragic issues. This boy… was different. He had been born from death and lived in tragedy all his young life. Had torn a piece of his own soul, had killed people, had people kill themselves to help him while he himself had been mercilessly tortured. What he had gone through made the mass-murder of Sasuke's entire clan look like a walk in the park, and he had chosen it all, which meant his daughter did, too.

Sasuke had been right. He had never consciously chosen anything. He had lived his entire life moving toward his goal of being Hokage, but because of it he never felt really free to choose what he wanted over what was best for others. Even with Sasuke he had just been sort of taken in the flow of emotion and events.

If he chose to stay as the children's father, he would have to not only nurture and train them as ninjas, but also be personally involved in what could be an even bigger mess than the fourth shinobi war, and probably see them die to fix it, under a reason he was sure most of his people would not accept or understand. If he chose to let them go now, on the other hand, all he would have to worry about was not getting Konoha involved. Life would be much easier. Even letting go would be much easier, Ishoo having had been part of their lives for such a short time.

The worst part was that he really COULD choose, this time. The children would survive and do what their soul saw fit no matter if he had raised them or not. They wouldn't be angry, sad, or frustrated at him, or seek revenge, but only understand and let him and Sasuke go with no problem at all. He thought that was what made Sasuke put the matter in his hands. Choosing, one way or the other, would be choosing selfishly, for none other than himself, how he wanted to live his private life, regardless of other people's feelings.

* * *

One hour had passed before Sasuke went to the old man again.

"What you are doing is dangerous, old man."

Monifa turned calm eyes to him. "Nevertheless. Amachi has trusted me to do this for them. It is my last task on this side of life, as I have lived long past my due."

Sasuke sat down beside the bed with a sigh. "If he doesn't choose them, I don't know that I can let them go that easily. I love our daughter, my daughter, too much."

"Yes, but you know she needs balance as much as I know Amachi does. The soul works better together. Separate, it might not be able to contain the power the bodies have for much longer."

Sasuke frowned at the news.

"Their energy is closer in frequency when they are together. Is that what is dampening our fears?"

Monifa shook his head. "It only affects you who have shared energy with them. Their energy in your bodies brings clarity to your thought processes and represses fear while they are safe, and vice-versa. It is a resonance to the link you have, and is quite handy when they cannot be sensed by other means."

"But if Naruto decides to let them go…" Sasuke whispered.

"The link will be severed, so you don't worry when they are in actual danger."

"Wait. So WE don't worry? What about them?" Sasuke asked, surprised.

Monifa chuckled. "Ibeji straddle the worlds. Life and death are only sides of the same existence for them. They worry about pain and suffering, but they would only interfere to ease your crossing, if it were to happen. They love you very much as well, and though they would never compromise your freedom, they would want to avoid you pain."

"So they are the same person, after all." Sasuke mused.

"Not in the sense we're used to think a person is, but yes. Their emotions are the same, their soul is united when one, the other or both sleep, so they share consciousness in those moments and their love and trust when it comes to others. They are the same soul, only living in two minds, instead of one."

"Like Naruto and his clones, only… a bit more different."

"Yes."

"I hope he can realize that."


	11. Chapter 11

Gaara was still in his office when Naruto was announced in, about midnight. He motioned his friend to a chair.

Naruto said and informed him of the earlier talk with the old man. "And now… I'm not sure what to do." He finished, lamely.

Gaara sat with his chin on his hands, and looked calmly at him.

"You're afraid." It wasn't a question.

Naruto nodded. "I wanted to talk to someone who is already a kage. Someone who…" he paused, trying to put his feelings into words.

"You think because I'm Kazekage I don't choose things purely for myself ever, that I always consider the whole picture before acting on my interests."

"Yeah."

Gaara sighed.

"Naruto, if I did that, I would be an even bigger moron than you are." He raised a hand as Naruto started to protest.

He stood up and started pacing around the room. "My father… all he ever did was put the village first, and his own feelings later. He always wanted to protect it, whatever the personal cost to him. So, when the time came to stick Shukaku inside a Jinchuuriki, he didn't even flinch, and chose his own son. Much like your father did, despite the difference in reasons each had."

He took a long look at Naruto. "You knew what it was like for me when we were kids, Naruto, and you helped me with that. I think it's time I repay the favor. Come with me." He opened a hidden door, leading to a staircase. Naruto followed. The path led to a tunnel. As they followed, Naruto wondered what was going on, but kept his mouth shut. The tunnel ended in a sealed door. Gaara deactivated the seal and they went in. "Be quiet." He whispered.

Naruto followed him into a small room. The sand nin took off his kazekage robes and hanged them in a hook after resealing the door. He then whispered something in a small radio device, then detached it from his clothes and hung it with the robes.

He then opened the other door, and they stepped into a half-lit playroom, with cushions and toys everywhere. Naruto's eyes widened at the utter mess as he followed Gaara further into the house – for it was clearly that – while carefully avoiding a myriad of half-finished puzzles and building-block copies of Suna buildings.

They entered a kitchen upstairs, and Gaara motioned him to a chair by the simple table, after turning on a soft light over the sink. "Wait here for a minute."

Naruto took his seat and observed the surroundings. The kitchen was larger than the one on his own house back in Konoha, with room for a full table and three chairs. On the other end of it were two high baby chairs. The refrigerator was covered with notes, take-out magnets, and on the opposite wall there was a small picture frame. Naruto was coming closer to get a look when Gaara returned, with a sleepy-looking and very beautiful woman in her early twenties at his side.

"Oh. Hajimimashite." He greeted her.

"Naruto, Mina." Gaara introduced. The blue-haired woman raised a hand to him, and Naruto took it, feeling acutely aware of her sharp look upon him. Her handshake was a firm one, too.

"Hm." She yawned, and took a seat, crossing her legs. Gaara kissed her lips and went to the sink, starting to fix them some tea. "Coffee for me", the woman said, fashioning her hair into a bun and sticking a pencil from the table to hold it up.

Naruto's jaw dropped at the scene.

"Ah, uhm, er…" he mumbled, blushing.

"Yes, we are." Mina looked at him with deep, dark violet eyes. "Gaara tells me you're having trouble separating your public and private lives."

Naruto nodded, dumbfounded. "Uh, does anyone else, er, know about you?" He asked, blushing.

"Only immediate family and Anbu." Gaara mentioned.

"Oh, duh. Safety issues, of course." Naruto said.

Mina snorted. "Like we need them for protection." Gaara smirked at that. "No, Anbu knows because Suna Anbu _is_ my immediate family" she continued.

"But… then why hide from everyone else?" Naruto asked with a confused face.

Gaara poured tea for them, and handed his wife her coffee, sitting next to her and throwing his arm over her shoulders.

"Because if we didn't, our life would be crap." Mina said. "This way is much easier to lead a normal life, and raise our kids without interference."

"But how do you manage it?" Naruto still felt confused.

Gaara sighed. "Here's how it works. Most of kage work is paperwork, you probably know that, right?"

Naruto nodded.

"So, I leave a copy doing the paperwork and other stuff for me with Temari and Kankuro, and when something important happens, they send me a messenger and I go back. We use a henge so we aren't recognized, and with that we can live just like a civilian family most of the time."

"But, but… why would you want to live like civilians?"

Mina rolled her eyes and Gaara chuckled.

"Because, Naruto, protocol is a bitch, and civilian life is actually damn good. When we are here, we can just walk around the village and be what we want to be, not what we have to be. We can haggle with vendors, we can take our kids to the park – " Mina said.

"We can complain about the government, gossip and laugh at the Kazekage in front of everyone…" Gaara interrupted, snickering.

Naruto gaped at that.

"Yeah, listen to the man himself, like he does nothing of the sort… It was YOU who threw that tomato on my uncle when he announced the village would be closed off for trade, before you left for the war." Mina smirked at Gaara and poked at his waist.

"But most of all, we do it because we want to. When we decided to be together, we realized that there was a side of life we wanted to live for ourselves and no one else, that even though we love Suna, we won't give it more than our work demands we do." Gaara said. They were serious now.

"You see, Naruto, what I've come to understand best in my life is that you can't convince people to stop their lives and follow your orders if you yourself don't have a life to do the same. If I don't have a life that is MINE, apart from being the Kazekage, how can I understand and work with all the reasons other people might have not to obey my bidding? How can I understand a mother's need to nurse her sick child instead of being part of my entourage when I need to visit another country? Or that I need to compensate my ninja for the time and effort, and many times their lives, that I called for use in the village's name? If I give Suna everything, I will end up demanding everything from everyone around me, and that will make me end up like my father."

"I… I never thought of it like that." Naruto felt humbled by how much Gaara had grown as a person.

"Naruto, if you love your daughter, if you want to be a parent to her, you have to keep them both despite what might happen to Konoha in the future, or what other people think of them, or of you for keeping them. You have to love them for yourself, no matter what, and let them be free. Just as they love you." Gaara finished.

Naruto thought about it for a while. It wasn't anything he was used to. His love with Sasuke was almost like it, but he had always felt the need to be needed, and he knew Sasuke needed him, as much as he loved him. He knew they didn't need him, only want him as their father. However, Naruto loved his daughter, and he knew that Kurama was right and he would easily love her… twin. He had seen the sacrifice the boy had done to help others, and that resonated within himself. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have a soft spot for tragic figures.

"Thank you." He said, and finished his tea. "I think… I think I'm ready to go back."

"Not before you see our kids." Mina gave him a huge proud grin.

They went into a quiet room with a bed and a large cradle. In the bed was a four year-old red-headed boy, sprawled on his back and hugging a plush Shukaku, and on the cradle there were two small babies with matching blue hair.

'Awwwwwwwwwwww they have twins…' Naruto thought, and gave them a huge smile. They quietly made their way back into the playroom.

"Shuuko is our oldest, Chieko and Chiemi are our babies." Mina said.

"We think he has a talent for architecture." Gaara smiled proudly. "Those are all his." He pointed at the block buildings.

Later on, when they were back in the Kazekage's office, Naruto looked at Gaara sideways.

"What?" the Kazekage asked.

"Nothing" Naruto blushed. "Never thought you'd be, er… an early father."

Gaara snickered. "Life's too short, Naruto."

* * *

Sasuke was already sleeping when he got in the bedroom, making as little noise as he could as he sealed the door again.

"I can hear you, dobe, you don't have to pretend to be quiet." Sasuke muttered from the bed.

Naruto took his clothes off and sighed as he went under the sheets.

Sasuke turned to him, and he almost lost himself in the depth of those black eyes.

"Sasuke… I'm…" he started, and swallowed dry when he closed his eyes.

"All my life… all I've done…" he started again.

"Was for Konoha." Sasuke finished for him, in a soft voice.

"Yeah."

Sasuke sighed. 'Oh, shit, dobe…' he thought.

"But…"

He listened, his heart almost missing a beat.

"After you and me… and Ishoo-chan… I… I can't give all of me to Konoha anymore." Naruto pulled his lover into an embrace. "I found myself analyzing the situation and thinking that this boy… her… her other self, is so different, and that no one will understand how the Hokage can go out on a diplomatic mission and come back with a child from outside the village, and how will everyone react when they know everything, and what will Tsunade baa-chan say, and what everyone will think when they're grown up and decide to go fight Swamp being the Hokage's children, and that Konoha would end up being involved, and all the repercussions…"

Sasuke said nothing, but hugged him back harder.

"And then I talked to Gaara, and he told me something that is true. I can't… I can't be Hokage if I don't ever do anything for myself, for my own selfish reasons, Sasuke. I can't lead free people if I'm a slave to them. If I let them go… I'll be Hokage and we will be fine, but I'll have given up on being a father, on all this happiness we've had since we had Ishoo-chan with us, and it would be like giving you up, giving what we have up. I… can't do that. Not even for Konoha." Naruto sighed. "So, I guess we'll have to get another bed into Ishoo's roommmmph"

Sasuke threw him on his back and straddled him before he could finish the last words. He wasted no time speaking, and bombarded Naruto with kisses instead.

* * *

They found the children awake and studying scrolls with Kabuto in the morning on Amachi's bed. The boy was sitting up propped by pillows, and Ishoo was lying on her belly at the bottom of the bed, with her head on her hands and her feet up.

"What do you mean? They are the same thing!" Amachi was saying.

"No, you see, his jutsu transfers his soul to the other body, it's not like this." Kabuto tried to explain.

"Yes it is, it's exactly the same seal, the animals are the same." Ishoo said.

"Uh, no, this is crow-wolf-bear-ox-horse-goat; the other is panther-tiger-snake-lamb-deer-mouse." Kabuto said, pointing at the scrolls.

"Aaarrrrgghhhhhhh!" The boy pulled at his fluffy ball of frizzy hair. "That's why we're saying they are THE SAME THING!"

"Oi, maybe we can help?" Naruto said, pulling up a chair next to the bed. He bent down to kiss his daughter and, after a moment of surprise at the boy's expectant look, kissed him also, before sitting down. Sasuke kissed the children and sat down next to him, unfazed.

"We're trying to tell Kabuto-kun that the snake-man's whatchamacallit seal is just a genjutsu, but he doesn't believe us." Ishoo said and gave them an exasperated look.

They looked at her with wide eyes.

Amachi turned the two scrolls so they could read. "See the animals on this drawing, and on this one? They are the same. It's the same spell."

Sasuke frowned. "But there's more to the mind-transfer technique than just the animals, look" he pointed at the corners of the seal. "These are modifiers, they change the nature of – "

"No they don't." The boy interrupted him with a confident voice. "They are memnonic…nmenomic… argh!"

"Mnemonic devices?" Kabuto helped.

"Yeah, they are things you put on the spell so that you don't lose focus from the energy that you are sending from your body to the other. They don't change anything much." The boy answered.

Naruto was still looking at the animals in the two seals, when suddenly he felt things click on his mind.

"Wait! I think I see it!" He raised his hand so nobody would interrupt him. "The animals are the same because there's three meat eaters, then three things that eat vegetables, right?"

"Finally, SOMEONE who understands!" Ishoo sighed and clapped at her father.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked at him and opened a wide, smug grin. "Everything. See, it's like them." he pointed at the two children. "Animals that eat meat have a different nature from animals that don't. But all meat-eating animals have the same nature, and all…"

"Herbivores" Kabuto filled in.

"Yeah, herbivores have the same nature too." He grinned at Sasuke again.

Sasuke looked at the children wearily. "Are you seriously telling me that the village idiot is right?" Both children nodded, and he put his hands on his face. "I think I'm gonna regret this, but explain why."

"Kabuto said that genjutsu is when you force somebody into a dream, that the person is stuck inside their head while it lasts, so then you can do whatever you want with them." Ishoo said, and her fathers nodded.

"This spell that the snake-man uses is the same thing, but instead of dreaming, the person just thinks they are the snake-man." Amachi finished.

"It can't be THAT simple." Kabuto said. He looked at the scrolls and back at them. "Can it?"

" Yup. Bodies that were changed by chakra, their brain works with it, and it's branded with the memories that the person has while they are alive. So then, if you touch into their chakra and change that, and make the brain forget who they are, you can make the brain think the memories that the chakra carries are the real ones, and then it thinks you're that person, and the memories mess the body chakra around so it was like in the first body, until the soul can mess up the life in the body enough that it dies, so it can escape." Ishoo said.

"There is a spell back across the ocean that does almost the same thing to make zombies, but it messes with the brain chemistry instead of energy, so it's reversible", Amachi completed.

"That would explain why Orochimaru has to change bodies so often and why the Sharingan negates the effect." Sasuke mused.

"I still can't believe it's so easy to be immortal." Kabuto muttered.

"Oh, he's not. He's been dead a long, loooooooooong time now." Amachi chuckled. "But his soul can't really move on until the memories that make his zombie are put to rest with the chakra, and that can't happen as long as people aren't truly convinced that he's dead."

"I was taught the soul was tied to the chakra." Kabuto said.

"No, the soul is the flesh and blood of the gods. Chakra is just a"

"Face." Ishoo completed what her twin said. "A face of the power that moves everything, but not the whole thing. That's why you don't have chakra in trees and other plants, but you have nature energy in them, which is different too, 'cause it's not on everything like rocks and the air, and the stars, and souls, and gods. The power that moves everything is bigger."

The boy nodded. "The soul is mixed with the body like… like salt in water. You can't get your soul out of your body, and other people can't either, because it's too mixed up. Even when you die, mushi and other dead people have to work together to help separate them. Chakra is easier to pull out or mess up with; you just call up the right mushi and yank on it, or use jutsu."

"But you can pull souls out of bodies." Naruto couldn't help but say it.

The boy looked at him calmly. "Yes. I can. There is no suffering in that." Naruto could see 'Can you say the same about what you do?' written in the boy's look. He lowered his gaze.

"And what now?" Kabuto asked.

"Now," Amachi said "We first let the Babalawo rest. Then, tomorrow, we go catch ourselves a zombie snake."

* * *

The old man looked relieved to see the four of them together. Ishoo hugged him, then cut her hand with a kunai she got from Naruto's pouch. Amachi also cut his hand, and held hers. The adults felt a tug on their energies as the bond passed from the girl to the boy.

"Got to go." She poked her twin's ribs, giggling, and left the room.

Naruto went for the door, but the old man held a hand. He stopped.

"Stay, please. This is something you need to know." Monifa said calmly.

Naruto stood besides Sasuke, but couldn't suppress a shiver.

"What's wrong, oyaji, afraid of ghosts?" Amachi smirked at him.

Naruto blushed furiously. "Um…" he swallowed dryly. Sasuke nodded at the boy, a small smile on his face.

Both old man and boy started laughing at Naruto's scared face.

"Are you serious?"Amachi asked, and laughed even harder at Naruto's embarrassed nod. Monifa was holding his belly and guffawing at him.

"What's so funny?" Naruto asked embarrassedly. "Ghosts exist. I've seen them." He gave a furious side look at Sasuke, who was snickering at him.

"Of course they exist, duh. That's no reason to be afraid of them, they're just people like you and me." The boy wiped laughter tears off his face.

"Yeah, but they're dead!" Naruto made a scared face.

"So? The only difference is that they can't kick your ass or kill you. Living people are a lot scarier."

Naruto frowned at the novel idea.

"Oh, I just KNOW whose feet I'll be tickling as soon as I can move around again. Boo!" Monifa told him merrily.

Even Sasuke felt a chill to his stomach at that, but he didn't let on.

"It's a good thing that you can see, though. Maybe I can show you something that will help you stop being afraid." Amachi said, and turned off the lights in the room. He then closed the curtains.

Naruto saw his new son climb on the bed and hug his old master tightly. He and the old man exchanged a few muttered words, and the boy sat beside the old man, cradling his head softly on his shoulder.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh." The boy put a finger in front of his mouth, and closed his eyes.

The shinobi felt the room temperature get warmer, and the light dim, until they were in complete darkness. He knew Sasuke must have activated his eyes to see. He felt a little queasy as the energy slowed in the room.

After a few minutes, all he could hear was his and Sasuke's breathing. Then he felt a tingling in his eyes, and saw a very tall, very large, dark indistinct figure standing by the bed. The figure reached down and picked the old man reverently. Naruto saw the boy pass his hand under the old man's head, as his body was lifted, and he heard the old man snort and mumble contentedly, making himself more comfortable on the large figure's arms. It bowed to the boy, and then to them. Naruto could not see its face, but he was sure that it leered at him, before it disappeared with a hearty chuckle.

The light came back slowly as the boy's energy fastened. Amachi was still seated at the old man's (now quite dead) head.

"Still afraid of ghosts, oyaji?" The boy smiled to him, and leapt from the bed. Naruto looked at the boy, fumbling for words.

"I… I hope Ero-sennin went like that." He whispered.

"Most people do. Except that in your war a bunch of them got snatched to fight as zombies, but eventually they all got back. Baraa says some of them can hardly wait to see that Madara figure waking up, they're taking bets on who wins the right to be the first to kick his ass."

Naruto couldn't help but snort laughter as he thought of Ero-sennin and his mother betting on who would be the one betting on the Sandaime, and the one on his father.

"Hn. That'll be a very long gauntlet." Sasuke said, and tried to hide a smirk. He could imagine many dead Uchihas bickering on how to make Obito and Itachi leave something of Madara's soul for them to spank.

Author Notes:

For Amachi's use of the word "spell" instead of "seal": seals are pretty much written spells, and coming from a different culture, it seemed reasonable to me for him to call them that way.

Oyaji = old man (as you would call your father)


	12. Chapter 12

Kakashi was waiting for them outside the room, Icha-Icha book up his face as usual.

"Yo. Your brat asked me to come get you for breakfast." He raised an eyebrow to the boy between them. "I guess this is brat #2 now?"

Amachi looked Kakashi up and down slowly, obviously measuring the man. He crossed his arms and looked up at the silver-haired jounin.

"You itching for a fight, ero-jiji?" The boy said in an ironic tone.

Naruto and Sasuke looked down at the boy. They noticed they didn't have to look very far down, the boy was very tall for his age. However, he was still as thin as a stick-insect.

"Maaaaaaaah, isn't that a dangerous question to make when you've just got out of a hospital bed?" Kakashi's eyes had a malicious glint to them.

"Um, Amachi-kun, this is our former sensei, Kakashi-sensei. Kakashi-sensei, this is Amachi-kun, Ishoo-chan's brother and _our beloved son_, so please let's go eat?" Naruto said in a nervous tone.

"Sure. This can wait until after breakfast." Amachi smirked, eyes still locked with Kakashi's.

Sasuke looked at the boy's face and saw no sign of fear there, only a kind of calculated amusement that mirrored Kakashi's own look. He smiled fleetingly.

* * *

Kakashi led them out the Kazekage compound, to a hidden, small restaurant in a side alley far from the busiest areas of the village.

They went inside and found Ishoo at the end of a table, chatting with Sai, Hinata and Shikamaru. The place was filled with the savory smell of roasting meat.

"Oi, Naruto!" Sai waved at them. Naruto sat next to him, pulling Sasuke to his side. Kakashi sat down beside Hinata and absentmindedly pulled up his Icha-Icha, and Amachi sat with Ishoo at the end of the table.

"How long have you guys been here?" Naruto asked.

"Got here less than three hours ago, settled the trade negotiators up in the Kazekage tower already. Then the little lady" Ishoo blushed and smiled at the comment "called us for breakfast." Sai said.

"Uh, Naruto, won't you introduce us to your new friend?" Hinata asked.

Naruto blinked, and realized that the other ninjas didn't know his son yet.

Sasuke got up. "Everyone, that's Amachi-kun, our son. Amachi-kun, these are -"

"Sai, Shikamaru and Hinata-chan." The boy said. "Hajimimashite." He turned to Ishoo. "Where's the food?"

The girl looked at him sideways. "Cooking, wanna eat the whole thing raw?" The boy made a face and shook his head. "Good, then wait for it."

Naruto felt his own stomach rumble. "What are we having?"

"This place specializes in berber cooking. We ordered chicken stew, you guys are having roasted goat." Shikamaru said in his bored voice.

"Um, no, the goat is for Amachi-kun. I got eggplant and chick-pea stew for me and Papa and more chicken stew for Tou-chan." Ishoo commented.

After a few more minutes of conversation, a line of waiters appeared with their dishes, the cook, a huge man with strong arms and a fierce moustache, right behind them.

The waiters served them, and the cook bowed deeply to Amachi, after Ishoo conspicuously pointed at him. "Amachi-sama, if you would, please."

Amachi blinked, raised an eyebrow and went after the cook, giving an unsure look at Ishoo, who waved at him.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked.

"The berber people measure a man's manliness by the part of the goat he eats. Ishoo-chan ordered the entire animal for Amachi-kun." Sai commented, snickering.

Naruto's eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

"The whole goat? Ishoo-chan!"

The girl raised her head from her stew. "What? Gotta put meat back on those bones, Tou-chan, you saw how skinny he is. It's just this time, though, don't worry about it. He doesn't eat much more than you do. Oh Papa, try the lemons, they're delicious!" She ripped a piece of bread and used it to scoop some of the food.

Naruto decided to let his kids sort themselves out, and turned back to his food. There seemed to be way too many vegetables in it for his taste, but he decided to give it a try. He tentatively scooped some of it with a piece of bread, and winced as he slid the food onto his mouth, only to make a satisfied sound right after.

"Wow" Hinata said. "This is really, really good!"

"Yeah, when Ishoo-chan asked me where we could find a place that served roasted goat, this place was the first on my mind." Shikamaru said. "Temari's crazy about this food, and last time Chouji was here, he took a jar full of those preserved lemons back home."

"They sell those to go?" Sasuke asked after swallowing a mouthful. "They are amazing!"

"Yeah, and the olives too. Funny little things, you can put them on your bellybutton and shoot them up when pressing on your stomach. Kankurou likes them." Sai said.

The other adults choked on their food.

"Sai!" Kakashi snarled and kicked his leg under the table.

"What?" Sai asked in an oblivious tone.

"There's children at the table!" Hinata gave him an angry look.

Ishoo raised an eyebrow at the blushing adults. "So? Me and Ashi-chan do that with goji berries."

Naruto's blush spread all the way to his ears. He and Sasuke frowned at her.

"**WHAT**?" Both men barked.

Their daughter gave them an innocent look. "Goji berries, those little yellow ones. They're tasty." A waiter waived at her and she excused herself from the table. "Gonna go see aniki, be right back."

The other adults felt the temperature drop. Kakashi hid behind his book again.

"I am going to MURDER that little pervert!" Naruto and Sasuke growled at the same time.

* * *

Amachi was lying down under the table, trying to breathe slowly, so not to stir up the contents of his stomach more than he could handle. The cook had dropped tears of prideful joy as the boy devoured the whole beast, including the bones.

Ishoo's hand found his, and passed him a napkin.

"Put that on your mouth while I work." She said. He hurriedly obeyed as her hand reached his stomach.

'The… things… we do… for love…' Amachi thought, biting on the cloth as he felt his digestive process speeding up. Strange noises came from his body as muscle tissue filled his frame, startling his nerves.

"Hmmmmmph" he whined behind the improvised gag.

"Not my fault you can't stomach people." Ishoo taunted.

" 'm n' uh knbhlh!"

"Why? I eat vegetables while they're still ALIVE, most of the time."

Amachi rolled his eyes at his twin's harsh practicality.

After a few more agonizing minutes, she withdrew her hand and he dashed off to the bathroom. She went back to the table and started counting on her fingers.

When she got to ten, the earth trembled and they all heard a loud and extremely relieved moan. She howled with laughter at the blushing faces around her.

* * *

One hour later they were joined by Gaara in the tower's training grounds.

"I see the family is together."

Naruto grinned at him. Sasuke went with Ishoo on a corner to practice some taijutsu. In the middle of the large structure, their son and Kakashi were quietly measuring each other.

"Am I seeing straight? The boy is taking Kakashi on?" Sai asked.

"Yup. He said he needed to spar with somebody as strong as Orochimaru, and Kakashi-sensei took him on it." Naruto said.

"Are you going to let that happen to the poor kid?" Shikamaru had sidled next to them to watch.

"Do I have a choice? He's worse than Sasuke."

The boy turned to them.

"Oi! Oyaji! Throw me a piece of rope please!"

"Oyaji?" Gaara smirked at Naruto.

Naruto turned red and fumbled on his pouch before throwing the boy a small length of rope, mumbling something about parents getting no respect from today's kids, while the others giggled.

Kakashi squinted at the boy. "You think you can hold me down with that?"

"Oh, this? This ain't for you, it's for me. I don't need hands to take you down." The boy then tied his own hands together with the rope.

Kakashi fumed at the offense.

Sasuke stopped and looked apprehensively at the two combatants.

"Poor Kakashi-sensei." Ishoo giggled, and motioned for her father to continue.

The boy made a few sinuous movements with his neck and spine, and spread his feet apart.

"Ready to dance, ero-jiji?" He taunted.

Kakashi blurred.

The boy gracefully turned upside down, opened his legs and his right heel caught the former copy-nin straight on his groin, as he appeared behind him.

"OUCH!" All the males present shout and moved their hands in a protective gesture.

Kakashi groaned, tears blurring his face as he stuck a kunai out, but the boy's legs weren't there anymore. He quickly advanced on the boy, striking over and over, never hitting the dark child.

"Come on Kakashi-sensei, is that all you've got?" Ishoo taunted.

'Slippery damn little bastard' Kakashi thought as his foot missed the boy yet again.

"How the fuck is he doing that without a Sharingan?" Sasuke had given up on his training to watch the fight and was currently standing with the others.

The boy danced around Kakashi's blurred figure in fluid, languid, almost lazy movements, his body seeming to defy gravity when he jumped in slow, wide arcs.

Kakashi jumped away from him, and studied as the boy gracefully pirouetted into a standing position.

"Had enough, shojo no roujin?" Amachi taunted.

Everyone gasped at the insult, but Sai.

"He's not a virgin, we have proof!" The ink-nin yelled at the child. The other Leaf-nins started kicking him.

Kakashi went completely red. His mask stretched out with the steam coming out of his nostrils.

"Ouheina ko! I'll teach you to respect your elders!" He growled, making seals.

"Uh oh" Ishoo stuck her head out from behind Gaara.

"What?" The Kazekage asked the small girl. He was enjoying himself immensely with Kakashi's predicament.

"We forgot to say that Aniki can work other people's chakra moves 'cause his energy is slower." She gave a mischievous grin.

Kakashi slammed his hand on the ground and a wall of earth moved rapidly toward the boy. When it was almost upon him, Amachi stomped his foot down and the earth wave retreated back twice as fast, throwing Kakashi up in the air.

Kakashi turned his body to land on his feet, while the chakra-infused earth shaped itself into a tall, thin needle-pointed hillock. The copy-nin threw his body to the side, avoiding it by mere inches, landing hard on his side and rolling to stand up again.

"Why, you little…" He fumed at the boy's cockish grin and jumped, making a clone in the process.

The boy easily dodged his movements again, and touched the clone's foot with one hand as he slipped under its legs. The clone's eyes went blank for a moment, before it started attacking Kakashi instead.

"What the fuck!" Kakashi snarled as the clone ripped a long gash on his upper arm. He barely jumped away as the clone attacked again, aiming for his neck.

"Amachi-kun, don't kill Papa's sensei!" Sasuke warned in a condescending tone, knowing Kakashi would be even angrier and not caring in the least.

"Get his mask off instead!" Ishoo yelled. Amachi gave her a lazy smile and saluted, before dodging a barrage of shuriken.

"Yeah! Get it off, kiddo! Whohoooooooooo!" All the other Leaf-nin yelled, hooting and jumping up.

Kakashi tried ineffectually to either dismiss or kill his own dodging clone while getting close to the small, lithe-muscled dark figure, who was currently standing upside down, waving at him with his feet. He jumped away from the clone and quickly formed the seals to encase it in earth behind his back.

The last thing he saw was the glint on the boy's eye, and then he was trapped in an earth coffin. The clone poofed out of existence.

"Wohoooooooo!"

"Somebody get a camera quick!"

"Bwahahahahaha!"

"Just WAIT until Sakura hears about this, ttebayo!"

"How the hell did he do that without moving his hands?"

Kakashi couldn't even wriggle his fingers inside his impromptu tomb, and so resorted to thinking furiously as he heard the adults approaching.

"Let Hinata get him out, we don't want him hurt anywhere but his pride" Sasuke said.

Hinata stood in front of the structure, neatly decorated with Uchiha-Uzumaki symbols and with "Ero-jiji, may he rest in peace" carved on the front, and activated her Byakugan.

"Oh, there's a thinner layer right on his face." She remarked.

"Didn't want you to hurt your delicate hand, Hinata-chan." Amachi said, bowing courteously. She blushed, and cracked the coffin, liberating Kakashi's furious face.

Naruto was literally drooling in pleasure as he pushed his face on Kakashi's.

"How do you like my _brat_ now, sensei?" He purred through his grin.

"Touch my face and Tsunade will kill you" Kakashi snarled, narrowing his eyes.

Naruto ground his teeth, but backed off after a minute.

"Hn." Amachi snapped his fingers and the earth fell in a mound around Kakashi. The boy offered his hand to the former copy-nin, who took it and allowed to be wrenched off the dirt.

The two gave each other an appraising look, and then shook their hands firmly.

"Do you think my _brat_ can pull that off with Orochimaru tomorrow, sensei?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi gave him a conciliatory look.

"Yeah. He better, you're serving as bait."

Author Notes:

Shojo no roujin = virgin old man  
Ouheina ko= insolent child


	13. Chapter 13

"Of all the things my Anbu could have ever missed…" Gaara shook his head from his place over the outcrop where they watched a seemingly inconspicuous rock formation about a mile away under the moonlight, while lowering his binoculars.

Naruto suppressed a giggle at the thought of tomato-covered in-laws. "No chakra signatures visible anywhere, according to Hinata. Don't be so harsh on them."

A few paces to their right, Hinata almost yelped to see her once-protégé appear out of seemingly nowhere. The dark boy on her other side looked at his sister and they both nodded, leaving Hinata's side and moving down the side of the outcrop.

They met Sai and Sasuke hiding behind a rock. Sai passed the boy an empty scroll and a piece of charcoal.

"Ok." Amachi whispered and began drawing furiously. "He's deep down in there. There were some traps in the entrance, here, here and here" the boy pointed, "but she got them out and put them close to where we want you to take him, so even if you can't feel us, you know where to go. Be careful not to step on them, the exploding chakra papers are armed."

"Paper bombs" Ishoo corrected him. He promptly showed her his tongue, while finishing the map.

"When you get to this room, you'll see a bunch of doors. You have to go through this one" the boy drew an arrow through it, "then you'll go up ten paces, go into the door on your right, then five paces, turn left, two paces, take the door to the right, ten paces, door to the left, and bingo. Try to get the doors stuck open so you can run out faster. Don't look back, don't talk to him, don't do anything except go inside, wave at him if you need, and run like hell, Baraa has been working up his nerves since yesterday."

Sasuke memorized the map. "What about snake summons?"

"I'll be right behind you to lure them out" his daughter said.

They raised their heads at the rather obvious sound of sand running behind them.

"Damn it, dobe, can you be even louder?" Sasuke growled.

"Sorry. We ready?" Naruto whispered.

"Yeah. Don't forget, start running as soon as Hinata-chan gives the signal, or he'll have time to rip our heads off. Tell her she can give us the first go signal whenever she wants, as soon as we get there." Ishoo said.

"Uhn." He nodded, hugged his daughter, and then kissed Sasuke briefly. "Good luck." He and Amachi moved back to Gaara's side.

* * *

Orochimaru paced back and forth inside his personal quarters, hugging himself. Every now and again, he looked out the open door with a suspicious look.

'Whatever it is, the next time it shows up I will rip its head off!' he thought, grinding his teeth together.

He had searched the whole small underground lair and made sure there was no one in when he settled in. It was very conveniently located in Wind Country, near, but not close to Sunagakure itself. He knew its position was perfect: the sand-nins would never believe him to be audacious enough to hide almost under their noses.

However, since dawn the day before he had begun hearing, smelling and seeing… things. First, the stench of rotten meat had permeated the air, which wouldn't be bad in itself except for the absence of any of it in the hideout. Then, echoes of whispers and snickers; sometimes Kabuto's voice, sometimes the Kyuubi boy's, sometimes Sasuke-kun's, and sometimes – he shuddered as he remembered – a deep bass laugh that tingled straight on his deepest primate fears. He had seen glimpses of dark figures moving, and candles – as it was, he couldn't get electricity this close to a major village without raising alarm – going out for no apparent reason. Once, he had seen Shinigami's shadow lurking in a corner, beckoning him.

All of those things he had experienced without finding a trace of chakra anywhere. He then had reinforced the traps at the entrance, and kept himself to his personal quarters, convinced that his body was having hallucinatory side-effects, probably from early decay, or that someone, maybe that useless prick Kabuto, was trying to play tricks on him.

And then the fucking drums had started. He could hear nothing else but the intense, deep, nerve-wrecking sound of them in a hypnotic rhythm for the last three hours. It was more than he could take. He felt ready to snap at anything.

The drum beating rose to a crescendo, making him queasy, and suddenly stopped.

Sasuke-kun was at the door, looking at him with both Sharingan and Rinnegan.

* * *

The three figures were sidling close to the lair's entrance.

Ishoo took Sasuke's hand and motioned him to stay quiet as they entered the lair. Sai leaned his back at the larger rock on the right, looking back at the outcrop with binoculars. He saw Hinata raise her hand under the moonlight and, after ten seconds, she raised her thumb. He put his own arm inside the entrance, thumb up.

Father and daughter saw the signal and ran through the maze. As they reached Orochimaru's room, Sasuke let go of his daughter's hand and took a deep breath.

The former Sannin was completely disheveled. His hair was dirty and tangled up. His robes were torn in places. When he turned and looked at Sasuke, his face was inhuman in its terrified insanity.

* * *

Hinata watched carefully as the four moved into position. She then turned her gaze to Orochimaru's chakra, and waited for his chakra level to lower significantly, as Amachi had told her would happen.

She saw Sai point his binoculars at her, and raised her arm. Naruto and Gaara had their gazes locked on her hand. When she saw the sign and put her thumb up, Naruto got into position.

* * *

"NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sasuke repressed his fighting instincts and took to his heels, feeling his daughter's energy pushing him forward. He hated the idea of playing rabbit with his former sensei, but the children were adamant that unless he followed the plan to the letter, Orochimaru coming back might still be a threat. And since even Kabuto had confessed not knowing exactly everything and everyone that had been imbued with the snake's chakra or DNA, the only alternative was this.

Orochimaru was a nightmare vision behind them, his neck elongated and his tongue reaching out, trying to reach Sasuke's neck while he ran after them. Ishoo pumped more energy out, pushing it in her father to speed him up and silently thanking the mushi for driving Orochimaru beyond logical thinking. She wasn't sure she could deal with chakra-eating snakes right now.

Sasuke quickly formed a Chidori and they burst out through the entrance, running to the left. He immediately lowered his chakra as they came out, so his muscles wouldn't rely too much on it to keep running and he could have an emergency reserve.

* * *

Naruto stood up as soon as Hinata raised her hand again, and faced to his left. He waited what seemed too long for his nerves.

"GO!" Hinata screamed, and Naruto started running at a 45 degree right angle from Sasuke's direction, doing his best not to top his pace, while Gaara and Amachi jumped on Gaara's sand and flew on a smaller angle to intercept Orochimaru.

* * *

"Get a bit ahead of him and hold on to your sand no matter what! When I get down, fly away as fast as you can!" The boy screamed at Gaara as they approached Orochimaru's twisted, running form. Gaara nodded and concentrated in controlling his chakra.

He almost let it go when he felt what he could only describe as Death's cold breath on his back. The sand parted and buckled as something fell through it. He fed more chakra into the sand to speed up, cold sweat running down his face.

* * *

Ishoo closed her eyes and paid attention to the energies around her. She felt the black hole of Amachi's descent over her, and the snake tongue's fiery, hate infused breath behind her. She shoved Sasuke forward with all her strength and jumped up to grab Orochimaru's tongue as soon as she passed her brother, her energy sticking and entwining with the life force on the slimy appendage, reaching and enveloping the raging body as she turned right in the air and tried to run, but she felt the tongue tug her backwards.

Orochimaru's eyes widened as he saw a small figure pop up right in front of him and grab his tongue. He roared in rage and started to pull his tongue back, when he felt a horrifying yet familiar pain rack through his body and make him hesitate, looking back.

Naruto saw his daughter being pulled back and jumped forward.

Ishoo felt his energy brush hers and grabbed it at the second Orochimaru writhed in pain.

The snake-sannin's eyes widened as he saw Shinigami's figure reaching into him, shining over a dark boy's. He hissed. He heard the Death God's mocking voice through the boy's lips as he pulled on his chakra.

"Gotcha, you son of a bitch."

Ishoo tugged at her energy inside Naruto's, and it pulled her and Orochimaru's body at nearly sound speed.

The earth rumbled as Orochimaru's chakra and body were ripped apart.

Ishoo and Naruto crashed full force, tumbling over and over and ending up in an unconscious tangle with the lifeless twisted body.

Sasuke covered his head as he heard Shinigami's sinister laughter. The earth began to still and he cautiously raised his head, turning right.

"Shit!" He breathed out and scrambled to a run as he saw half of his family out cold in the distance.

"Sasuke!" Gaara shout at him, offering his arm. Sasuke jumped up and grabbed it, joining him on his flying sand.

Sai came out from behind the rock at the entrance to Orochimaru's lair and ran over to where Amachi was watching the commotion, darkness fading around him.

"Want a lift?" The ink-nin offered, and the boy nodded. Sai summoned an ink bird and they flew towards the others.

* * *

"Ow, ttebayooo…" Naruto raised a weary hand to his eyes and winced as he felt a large lump.

"Don't touch it, usuratonkachi, it's still healing." Sasuke moved his hand off.

"What happened? All I saw was a bright flash…" the dobe muttered in a nasal voice.

"You and Ishoo-chan knocked yourselves out. I was afraid for her at first, but apparently our daughter's head is harder than yours."

"How's she doing?" Naruto had started trying to get up as Sasuke was talking. He pushed him back down the hospital bed firmly, and gave him an ice pack, which he gratefully put on top of his lump.

"She's got a lump at the back of her head from hitting a rock, her shoulder was dislocated when it hit your eye, her collarbone cracked, but other than that and a few bruises, she's fine; your face absorbed most of the impact."

"Hmmmm… What about our pocket-sized Shinigami?"

"You saw him do that?"

"Yeah, for a split second before I got knocked out. Thank heavens he didn't use THAT move on Kakashi." He paused.

Sasuke snickered softly. "Our boy is surely going places with his attitude. And nobody will try to bring Orochimaru back after that hits the grapevine."

Naruto started a chuckle, and then grimaced. "Owwww… don't make me laugh, teme… damn, where's the fucking fox to heal me when I need it…"

"Trust me; it's much better now than when we got to you, half your face had caved in."

"Ohayo!"

The children greeted loudly as they entered the room, and jumped unceremoniously on the bed beside Naruto.

"Ow… ohayo…" he muttered.

"Kids, you shouldn't be here, he's still hurting a lot." Sasuke warned softly.

"That's why we're here, Papa. Tou-chan, can I touch you for a bit?" Their daughter explained.

"Sure, honey…"

"Papa, scoot over and hold his head please?" She put her right hand lightly on Naruto's maimed face, closing her eyes.

"Ow…" Naruto began protesting.

"Don't be a baby, Oyaji." Amachi scowled, and held his twin's hand.

Sasuke felt his mate relax on his hands, while his daughter grimaced. The lumps on Naruto's face started to recede, and tears started running down her face as she bit her lower lip hard. Sasuke gave the boy a warning look.

"Relax, Chichi, it hurts a lot, but it's quicker than waiting for her to heal up; it fixes them both at the same time." The boy said dismissively.

"How do you know that?" Sasuke demanded.

"I spent my whole life watching and learning with the Babalawo, couldn't pick up everything but I still have some of his tricks up my sleeve." The boy grinned.

In less than ten minutes, Naruto's face was back to normal. He had fallen asleep halfway through whatever it was their daughter was doing to them. The children bent over to kiss Sasuke and left, yawning their way out.

An hour later, a surprised medic gave them leave to their own rooms to finish resting.

* * *

Naruto woke up later into a deep kiss. He lazily began sucking the probing tongue, and then felt his nipples being licked and fondled at the same time. His eyelids flew open.

Sasuke smiled without breaking the kiss.

"Mhmmmmm"

Sasuke's moan sent a jolt straight to his groin. He felt a pair of hands caressing his thighs, and parted them to ease the clone's access, while his lover nibbled and sucked on his bearded jaw, and traced down his chest with one hand. He then lowered to his chest, sucking and biting on his ribs, as the clone licked and nuzzled his groin.

"Move." Sasuke barked at the clone, and pulled a snickering Naruto to sit at the edge of the bed, while he kneeled on the floor.

"Jealous…" Naruto whispered in his ear, sending a shiver down his back.

"Hn. I'm not jealous, I'm possessive. There's a difference." He bit his lover's lower lip, as the clone nuzzled on a blonde-haired neck and teased Naruto by pressing his groin to his back.

Naruto bit back a giggle, remembering the bastard's weird way of dealing with sharing with his own clones when it came to sex. Sasuke had a set of unspoken rules: clones weren't allowed to talk to Naruto, kiss his mouth, or engage in anything pertaining his cock or ass that the original hadn't done first in that session. 'Hypocritical bastard', Naruto told himself.

Sasuke, meanwhile, was getting busy slipping his tongue on Naruto's navel. He sucked on it greedily, and grunted in appreciation at the mewling sound from above his head, moving his mouth downwards slowly, marking the skin with large hickeys, and pulling a few stray hairs with his teeth as he came close to his mate's erection.

"Haaa… Sasuke, stop teasing, me, asshole…" Naruto moaned, and tried grabbing the bastard's hair. The clone immediately caught his wrists and pinned both arms to his back, giving Naruto access to the hardening length behind him. The clone gasped and sucked on his throat in response to his stroking.

Sasuke raised his lover's legs, and the clone reached to hold the parted knees in place. Naruto had to grab the clone's thighs he was resting in between to keep from slipping forward. Sasuke gave him a lustful glance and slowly began licking the precum off his cock, keeping their gazes locked as he started sucking.

"Fuck…" Naruto threw his head back and let loud breaths out, as the sensations flowed through him. After a couple of minutes, he felt his back being lowered to the bed, and the clone stretched beside him to take his turn on the hard length, as the original moved his sinful mouth lower, making him buck his hips up in pleasure and his higher brain functions to take a vacation, while his hand gripped the clone's cock again and began stroking.

Sasuke nipped at the place the blonde thighs joined with the ass in front of him, and smirked as the legs went up farther. He latched his mouth on the puckered skin and sucked, while thrusting his tongue out, reveling on the sound of loud cursing from above. He licked and munched with his lips covering his teeth for a long while, thrusting his tongue deeper and deeper, while stroking his weeping flesh with one hand.

"Teme!" Naruto growled, feeling his muscles begin to tense. Sasuke quickly traded places with the clone, shoving his cock on the blonde's mouth and catching said blonde's weeping, swollen tip on his barely in time, before the clone's tongue deftly breached Naruto's hole and the blonde immediately clamped on it, gushing his orgasm in the original's throat and almost shrieking in pleasure as he was milked by hot lips.

Naruto was still trying to catch his breath when Sasuke moved up and kissed him deeply for a long moment, and then got up while the clone moved to get something out of the nightstand.

"Turn ass up, usuratonkachi."

Naruto turned a lazy gaze upon him, before complying. The clone sat on his ankles before him, and he felt lubricated fingers touching his ass, the soft touches making him mewl with anticipation as his head was cradled and a hard cock brushed his lips.

Sasuke slip two fingers in and Naruto pushed back, his relaxed body taking them easily after his orgasm. He devoted his attention to the tempting hot cock brushing his face, sucking on it greedily as he was stretched. He almost jumped when he felt his prostate hit.

"Hn." Sasuke gave a smug smirk and coated himself, before positioning and settling inside his lover in one slow thrust, the loud moans from Naruto, together with the heat and friction, enough to make him need to lean on the tanned body, while he tried to breathe and gather himself.

"Ready?" He panted after a while, and Naruto pushed against him eagerly. He pulled out and rammed himself back in, hitting the other's sensitive prostate head on.

Naruto cried out, as he was mercilessly slammed from behind, oblivious of anything but the fiery pleasure burning up his spine and spreading to his loins. "Harder! Faster!" he grunted, against his best judgment, while the clone smeared pre cum over his face.

Sasuke slapped the writhing, pushing butt he was relentlessly pounding on. "Scream, slut!" He growled as he felt his own climax build up. Naruto obliged, feeling the flesh inside him swell and his mate shudder inside him, as his cock was caught in an iron grip to prevent his own orgasm.

Naruto let out a streak of curses while his lover prepared himself and the clone got in his place. He was interrupted by hot lips devouring his mouth, as the rest of Sasuke's body slid down under him.

"Mmmmhmmnhmmmmph, damn you, teme…" he growled as Sasuke broke the kiss and pushed him up. He held himself on his hands and knees, watching with huge eyes and gaping mouth as Sasuke deftly raised his legs and locked his feet behind his own head, raising his hips up against Naruto's second and already aching hard erection.

"You were saying?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and gave him a smug smirk. Naruto's mind went blank and he plunged inside, gasping as he dived deeper and deeper into the tight, hot flesh, deeper than he could remember ever being able to go. He found himself literally buried to the hilt, and stopped, panting.

"Holy shit, Sasuke… so deep…" he gasped, and cried out in pleasure as the clone rammed into him, rocking them both and pressing his body down with his hands.

They began moving in quick, deep thrusts, the added weight of the clone on his back slamming Naruto's cock almost painfully against Sasuke's prostate, and still he tried to pump harder, deeper, and faster, to match the clone's furious rhythm inside him.

"More! Damn it Naruto, rip my ass up, move it faster, fuck me HARDER!" Sasuke shouted the last as waves of delicious pressure ran through him, both inside and from where his cock was grinding against taut muscles.

Naruto let his weight fall fully forward, pistoning impossibly deeper and harder, and a long while later he felt the clone's cock swelling up inside him and his own clenching muscles against it, not even hearing the bed creak under them.

The clone thrust deep, coming hard and pushing Naruto over the edge, popping out of existence right after, as the blonde felt his own cock swelling inside Sasuke's heat. He let out a guttural roar and rammed in as hard as he could, doubling over as he felt the muscles clamping him in a death grip, milking him for all he was worth, Sasuke's own deep screams of pleasure following right after as he came all over Naruto's face and open mouth.

They kissed and licked the cum from each other's faces, before Naruto gave a satisfied grunt and pulled out, letting his weight drop to the side and helping Sasuke's legs out of their position. The bed creaked ominously under them, again unheard.

Naruto had just touched his head back in the mattress, still panting with the exertion, when, with a final, thunderous noise, the bed gave out from under them.

"Uh, oh" He grunted, as the bed collapsed and Sasuke suddenly rolled on top of him with the movement.

They looked at each other's surprised faces and Sasuke sighed.

"Usuratonkachi."

* * *

Shikamaru and Sai stopped on their way to Naruto and Sasuke's door as they saw a couple of men carrying the remains of a large, solid oak bed out the corridor, a few hours later.

"Whoa." Sai stated. "Amazing we didn't hear that from downstairs."

"The wonders of rammed earth structures." Shikamaru agreed. The kids had been snoring away when they knocked on their door, in the next room. They made way for the workers to pass, and looked inside.

"Anyone up for dinner? We have news from Tsunade-sama." Shikamaru called in. He gave Naruto and Sasuke a slow, predatory grin. "And that" he pointed down the corridor, "Is coming out of _your_ paychecks, unless you want to explain the expense to the Council."


	14. Chapter 14

Dinner was set to be a boring business protocol issue, what with the merchant envoys and everything, so it was with no pity whatsoever in his heart that Sasuke left Naruto and Shikamaru to the proverbial sharks and went out to eat with the others, after having tried to rise the children and hearing resounding negatives from both of them.

They headed out to another small bar, located, this time, in one of the most disreputable areas of the village.

"It's cheap; the food is good, the booze is even better. And we can talk about whatever we want, laugh about whatever we want, the owners are Konoha spies." Sai had explained to Sasuke as they went to join the others.

"Ours, or the Council's?" Sasuke had asked. The Council of Elders hadn't bothered them much since the war, but nobody in their right mind would ever trust it, at least while Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane were alive.

"Ours, tasked to watch the Council's." Sai tapped the side of his nose. "Just so we don't have to worry about those old farts meddling in our private affairs here. It was Shikamaru's idea."

Sasuke nodded. One of the long-lasting effects of the Shinobi Alliance, and the most treasured by Naruto, had been the bonds between ninjas from different villages. Their generation had set up a tight net of inter-village friendships and other relationships right under the noses of Daimyos, Councils and Kages (or, as was the case with Konoha, Suna and Komo, with their implicit approval).

They entered the place through a side door on a dark alley, and headed to a large booth.

"Yo!" Kakashi raised a hand to them. For once, the pervert wasn't hiding behind his omnipresent Icha-Icha porn.

Sasuke gingerly sat beside him, and Sai sidled to sit next to Kankuro.

"I thought you'd be up in the banquet hall, what with all the attention on Shikamaru." Sasuke told Temari.

She looked sideways at him, and made a warding sign. "Me? No offense, but mingle with those rattlesnakes? Ha, no, thank you, that kind of filth affronts my delicate sensibilities. Why didn't you go?"

Sasuke smirked. "Me? Hell no, I've already had my share of crazy old men trying to rip me apart, let the dobe suffer for once."

"Besides, we're all going to have to deal with our own old bears at home. Amachi-kun will be a much harder pill to swallow for them than Ishoo-chan was, especially after what he did yesterday." Kakashi said with a frown.

"I'd be more concerned about Ishoo-chan myself, but yes, Amachi-kun will probably raise more of the hyenas' hackles. And we don't know their effect on the other villages' councils." Kabuto agreed in a low voice.

"Why is that, Kabuto-san?" Hinata asked.

"Naruto and Sasuke are already the most powerful ninja alive, and both are Konoha's. That is already a concern for elders everywhere. Ishoo-chan's abilities have been… discreet, until now, but Amachi-kun summoning Shinigami at will? And surviving it? At his age? That's worse than the rumors that were running about him before, and those were already awful. People seem to think he's some kind of cannibal oni." Kabuto explained in the same low tone.

"As for Ishoo-chan," he continued, "one of the things I've learned while experimenting with Orochimaru is that life energy is much wilder and harder to control than the processes of death. She's younger than Amachi-kun, but her abilities might come to surpass the Ten-tails."

Everyone quieted and looked at Sasuke inquisitively.

"Except that Ishoo-chan can't kill anything. She told me that, and I trust her. I saw it. Naruto knows that, too." He said.

"Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry, but do you really think those old farts will believe you? They ordered your whole clan to be butchered because they were afraid of a coup, what would you think they would do if they felt your children might destroy the village?" Kabuto said.

"What do you suggest we do then? Kill our children to appease a bunch of old self-righteous assholes?"

"Maaaaah, it doesn't have to come to that, Sasuke, calm down." Kakashi commented. "You and Naruto might be used to letting your balls do the thinking for you", he said, giving Sasuke a smirk, "but maybe your kids know better than that. It at least looked that your boy has a cool head, yesterday. He reminded me of Itachi, but a lot more cunning." he finished, touching his mask.

"Are you really saying we should discuss this kind of issue with a seven years old kid?" Sai asked.

"Itachi was a genin at that age, and Amachi-kun has gone through a lot worse than he did back then. As damn cheeky" and at that Kakashi gave a side glare to Sasuke "as he is, he does seem more mature."

* * *

The next morning, Ishoo was alone when she bangued on her parents' door.

"Wake up, ttebayo!"

Surprisingly, it was Sasuke who opened the door for her.

"Ohayo, Papa!" She jumped up at him.

Sasuke caught her and balanced the girl on his hip. "Ohayo, my little jumping bunny." He yawned. "What's the hurry?" he asked, carrying her to the mattress and sitting down.

"It's a beautiful day outside, can we go see the village?" She asked with a puppy look in her eyes.

Naruto grumbled behind them, grabbed her foot and started tickling it. "Not before you give your poor Tou-chan a kiss, dattebayo!" He said.

"Ishoo-chan, where's Amachi-kun?" Sasuke asked the giggling child.

"Hahahahahaha Tou-chan, lemme go! He went out with Kakashi-sensei, Papa" she said, wriggling her foot out of Naruto's reach.

"Hn. Training?" He asked, holding her other foot up so Naruto could tickle it too.

"Gaaaahhhh! No, they went to buy stuff to train back home, stop that, I'm gonna pee my pants!" She squealed between laughs. Naruto pulled her down and started blowing raspberries on her belly, making her squeal delightedly.

"Oi, what happened to your bed?" She asked them, and they blushed.

"Um…" Naruto started.

"Shino's bugs ate it." Sasuke said.

"Oh. Ok! I like it better like this anyway." She reasoned. Both parents breathed in relief.

* * *

They found a pissed-off, burdened Kakashi arguing with their son and a weary-eyed Kano next to them, in front of a nondescript store, a few hours later.

"Oi! What's going on?" Naruto asked, while Sasuke took some of the packages from Kakashi.

"Ero-jiji has no taste for music, that's what's going on." Amachi said.

"Music? That's not music, that's torture! You play that in Konoha and the council will be convinced you're both evil spawns from hell!" Kakashi growled back at him.

"It´s not my fault you backwater hirubirīzu have hardly ANY decent tech! I can't even get my hands on a simple mp3 player!" Amichi snarled.

"A what?" Naruto asked.

"It's a computer this size" Amachi moved his thumb and forefinger apart to about three inches "with earplugs, so you can listen to music on the go without bothering anyone." He rolled his eyes. "At least I got my hands on some CDs, a player and a rechargeable battery kit from that smuggler. Maybe when we get home I can get somebody that understands electronics to help me build something small enough for nee-chan to use. You DO have people who can make a small circuit board there, don't you?" he said in a bored voice.

Sasuke knocked on his head. "We hirubirīzu have portable radios, is that good enough, hanyou?"

Amachi looked up and reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, it might do. Gomendasai, Chichi."

"Hn." Sasuke looked smugly at Naruto's and Kakashi's gaping face, as the children took the lead back to the Kazekage tower.

"So I'm Oyaji…" Naruto started.

"And I'm Ero-jiji…" Kakashi fumed.

"But YOU are Chichi? That's not fair!" Naruto pouted.

"Serves you right for not looking respectable enough." Sasuke said.

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled. "Come back here and say that again to my face, teme!" he ran after his stoic husband.

"ME? Not respectable?" Kakashi went red, frozen on the spot.

"Well, no offense, but reading Icha-Icha in front of kids isn't really, er, good for forming a respectable figure." Kano interwened, his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

* * *

After a light lunch, they reconvened with the others at the training grounds for Amachi to show the implements he and Kakashi had gathered during the morning.

"Oyaji, Chichi, you got to sit out on this one. Whoever else wants to join in the fun, keep to the back, we'll take the front half of the arena." Amachi instructed them.

The two siblings were wearing matching loose linen outfits, and Amachi was hooking up a sound system. Various weapons had been laid yout on the floor over a mat, along with a series of other implements.

"What are those for, Amachi-kun?" Hinata pointed to a row of metal balls, ordered in size, next to a sling.

"Oh, those are range fighting implements for nee-chan. Her close range weapons are gonna be the ones on the right." Amachi told them while choosing a CD.

"But those are all blunt instruments", Sai said, picking up a large, heavy iron skillet, covered on one side with polished copper.

"Exactly. The less damage she does to people, the less explaining we have to do." Kakashi came closer.

"Get ON with it, Aniki!" Ishoo shout out, jumping in the middle of the room.

Amachi walked nonchanantly to stand in front of her.

"Earplugs?" Kakashi offered, shrugging when no one took them.

He pressed play, and a guitar screeched. A hoarse male voice began singing.

The ninja gaped when they felt the strange rhythm do things to their chakra.

The children leapt at each other, using the same strange taijutsu he had used on Kakashi, but now they were blurring with speed.

"What is this… music? I can feel my teeth rattling!" Shikamaru yelled to be heard over the racket. Naruto and Sasuke instinctively started shaking their heads back and forth a bit, and stopped blushing as they saw each other doing it.

Sai and Hinata looked at each other with a strange smirk on their faces, as the song changed. They nodded at each other, and Sai began running to the other end of the arena.

"Uh, Hinata?" Naruto looked at her with concern. Her body was shivering all over. The music began a crescendo, as she followed Sai's movements, and when it hit a high note, she yelled and charged.

Kakashi and Kabuto watched with gaping mouths as the shy Hyuuga began literally kicking the lights out of the ink-nin in fluid movements that looked more like dancing than fighting. Sai was thrown to the other side of the arena by a well-planted kick in the chin.

"Close your eyes and let it flow through you!" Amachi yelled at the ink nin. Sai got up, cleaned the blood from his mouth, and nodded, closing his eyes and breathing to take in the savage rhythm.

As it quickened, the spectators realized they could only see Amachi blurring. Sasuke turned on his bloodline limit to watch.

"Can you see her?" Naruto screamed at him, trying to hold onto his senses. The music was doing weird things to his body. He looked at Sasuke to see lightning pulsing in his right hand. 'What the hell IS this music?' he thought.

"I can't see her with the Rinnegan, she's too fast, but I can see the distortion where she passes!" Sasuke pulled him closer and screamed at his ear. "They're stopping short of hitting each other!"

The song changed into an even faster rhythm, and now they couldn't even see Sai and Hinata anymore, only the cracks on the floor where they landed.

Kabuto sidled over to Shikamaru's side and said something at his ear with a shy smile. Shikamaru gave him a measuring look and shrugged, and they both joined the melee at the back of the arena.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Kakashi heard through his earplugs as Ishoo finally broke her brother's barrier of movements and landed next to the weapons, grabbing the large skillet and jumping right back into the fray. Amachi dodged her a few times and slid under her, grabbing a kunai and somersaulting back to the middle of the room.

Sparks flew every time the weapons clashed.

Naruto and Sasuke literally jumped as Gaara touched their shoulders.

"AAAHH! Dammit, Gaara!" Naruto yelled.

"What is this heathen music? People are going insane outside! Whoever isn't jiggling and jumping around is holding on to things, trying to stay still!" the Kazekage said, as the CD stopped playing. What looked like the entire Sand Anbu was behind him, looking curiously at the arena.

"That" Ishoo panted, sliding next to them "is rock and roll. It's from where Amachi came from."

Gaara looked at her with wide eyes.

Amachi came closer. The other ninjas were sprawled in the back, panting and exhilarated.

"If you got a problem out there, better get a strong sound barrier up, I'm gonna put some heavy stuff to play next."

"There's HEAVIER music than THAT?" Naruto gawped at his son.

The boy gave him a shit eating grin. "Music is a great way to modulate asè, we use it for everything. So yeah, there's heavier music than that. And lighter. And all the combinations you can imagine, we have a lot of different cultures that produce all different kinds of it."

"Get the thickest sound barrier we can up, I want to see this." Gaara said with a smirk. The Anbu positioned around the arena and quickly set it up.

"Aniki, put the elephant land music on for Gaara-san!" Ishoo called out.

"Uh, Ishoo-chan, how do you know what is that?" Naruto asked.

"He heard it, so I know what it's 't it obvious?" She said matter of factly.

"Oh." Naruto sighed, giving up trying to understand.

Amachi fished out a disc. "Fine, but then I'm gonna put the heavy stuff on!" He called back, before turning the music on.

The room filled with a sinuous rhythm that went straight to Gaara's spine. His eyes closed in sinful pleasure, and he blushed furiously.

"STOP IT!" He screamed, as the sand on his gourd began snaking around his wobbling legs.

Kakashi, who had surreptitiously took his earplugs off a little earlier, hurriedly turned the music off.

The children were giggling at Gaara's face.

"Sorry, we didn't know it would make you funny like that." Amachi swallowed his giggles. "Man, you people are repressed, that's not even courtship music!" He laughed.

Kakashi's face went red imagining what "courtship music" would do to ninjas. He decided to go back to the smuggler later and grab himself a few samples and a player for himself.

Amachi selected yet another disc from his arsenal, and put it on. "This is more battle-like, hope you enjoy it more." He stood back as the music began playing.

It started as a pleasant enough tune, though the instruments were strange to their ears. But the lyrics were strangely bloodthirsty.

They started feeling dizzy, as energy began passing through them. Amachi strolled to his parents and held hands with both of them.

"Wanna see something funny?" He asked with a mischievous grin.

They looked down at him, and swallowed dry, but nodded anyway.

"Turn on your sage eyes, Oyaji, and watch."

Light began to shine from the ninjas' bodies, as they began moving in katas and fluid movements.

"What are you doing to them?" Sasuke asked.

"Letting them deal with their own life energy and emotions by giving them substance. Don't worry, they won't hurt each other." The boy answered, sitting down and pulling them down with him.

The song slowed again, and the ninjas went still, encased in light that changed colors and vibrated with the rhythm.

"Wow… look at Gaara…" Naruto pointed.

Gaara's sand was golden around him, a different color than his almost terracotta energy.

"Yeah, that's his mom's asè flowing in the sand."

"It's not chakra, then?" Naruto asked.

"Look at the ground under them, Oyaji" Amachi said quietly.

Naruto looked, and saw that the ground poured the same energy, in sync with the one vibrating through their friends.

"Won't this hurt them?" He asked.

"Nah. Ero-jiji might be pissed off though, his body doesn't like all the sadness he carries, look at it throw it away. Hope he doesn't miss it too much."

They looked. Kakashi was completely still, but the energy in him vibrated blue, with black strands that seemed to be pushed out of his body.

The music changed to a faster tune, with lyrics that told exactly about shadows hidden inside the soul, and the irony of starting to die as soon as one was born. Kakashi's eyes rolled back until only the whites were shown.

"It's like… a purging, isn't it?" Sasuke mused.

"You got it. It's a way to clean up before battle, to put out excess asè that builds up with emotions and thoughts and all those things, and accept that you're already dead when you meet the enemy."

"Already dead? What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"If you go to battle accepting that you're already dead, you do whatever you have to do in peace. So, you're always calm, and you don't hate your enemy, 'cause you know he's as dead as you are. And the things that happen to you, or that you have to do, don't keep hurting your heart afterwards."

"Amachi-kun… that's horrible" Naruto gasped.

The boy looked at him with deep, black eyes.

"I had to kill people to be here today, Oyaji."

"But… but you were defending yourself and Monifa-sama, that's different. And they hurt you." Naruto argued.

"No, it's not. People who attack me aren't less people than I am. They want something, I want something else, but we're the exact same. Right and wrong are only different ways to look at things, Oyaji. I didn't kill those people because they were evil; I killed them because they were on my way to do what I wanted. The snake man was the same. He wanted Chichi's body; I didn't want him to get it. All things strive, and all are equal under the gods. What we want, what they want is of little importance. Only freedom matters." The boy said in a calm tone.

Naruto wanted to argue, but Sasuke interrupted him.

"Naruto, if I were able to understand that when Itachi killed my family, I wouldn't have gone after him." He said.

Amachi nodded. "When you purge yourself, Oyaji, you only fight until you got what you wanted. You do only what it's necessary to restore the balance that allows for freedom. Everything needs to be balanced to survive and allow for survival."

"Even Ishoo-chan? She can't kill anything." Naruto asked, dreading the answer. That would be one of the things the Council would demand to know.

"Especially her, cause her body produces more and more life energy all the time. It was ok, because it was supposed to be consumed while she was still little, but the way things happened, if there wasn't this body for us to balance hers, when people became afraid and decided to kill her… Chichi saw what can happen." The boy said calmly.

Sasuke shuddered. "She wouldn't be able to fix whoever her fury broke. Every soul would be trapped in crushed bodies forever."

The boy nodded. "Death wouldn't happen to anything anymore, and her energy would keep going unchecked. Eventually, it would be so strong, and the inbalance would become so great, that the world would destroy itself to get rid of it. But the gods are good, and master Monifa lived to his name. Coming here was his idea." He grinned. "This way now, with you, we can help balance the continents and make sure the people who don't understand how things work yet don't kill each other out. It won't be easy, but you got all the ninjas together, you can talk them out of it and we can keep you alive while you beat sense into their heads. And Chichi will make sure you understand what's happening and don't do anything stupid."

Naruto frowned. "Oi, I'm NOT that stupid, ttebayo!"

"No… you're just a moron, dobe." Sasuke snickered.

The music wound down to a stop. They looked up to see ninjas sprawled everywhere, with happy, dazed looks on their faces.

Amachi nudged Kakashi's foot. "Oi, Ero-jiji, can you get up yet? Time for dinner."

Kakashi's eyelids fluttered. "Okay…" he whispered in a happy voice.

Naruto and Sasuke helped Gaara up.

"Are you all right, Gaara?" Naruto asked.

"I feel… like my soul was dry cleaned." The Kazekage said. "How about you?"

Naruto smiled. "Apparently, we were chosen to be the designated sober people in the party."

**A/N**

Hirubirīzu = Hillbillies


	15. Chapter 15

The next day was to be their departure, but since none of the ninjas wanted to leave without doing what they called "personal errands" (which cleaned a certain smuggler's "courtship music" stock, not to mention C.O.D. orders to be delivered in Konoha), they ended up leaving in the morning after that.

"Yo, it's not polite to run ahead of everyone", Kakashi said, catching up to the kids. "You should've stayed close to the caravan."

"Right, so those stuck-up nobs could sneer at my face? No thanks. Don't want Oyaji to get angry." Amachi said, giving him a glare.

"It would help if you didn't show your back to everyone", Kakashi pointed out. The boy was shirtless and had tied his shirt on his head. The fresh scars shout out on his deep brown back.

"It's warm." The boy replied.

"You're gonna get a sunburn" Kakashi said.

The children started laughing together.

"No offense, Kakashi-sensei, but where I was born this is how bright the sun is on winter. I don't get sunburns."

Kakashi almost tripped. He had already begun to get used to the boy using the insulting nickname.

"And… I'm not ashamed of my skin. I know those nobs don't like it, most of the people me and the Babalawo crossed with didn't. But I don't care." The child said.

Kakashi tried to make amends. "I think… maybe the scars scare them."

"Don't care either. I like them. They don't let me forget."

The former copy-nin looked at the boy with a newfound respect.

"On the other hand… I'm happy we got the nobs with us. I don't miss eating desert rat and lizards." Amachi blinked his eye at him.

Ishoo made a face, and nodded. "Blurgh."

She then gave Kakashi her best "Adorable little girl #47" smile.

"Kakashi-sensei, will you help Iruka-sensei and Shima-sama train us when we get back?"

Kakashi returned her gaze with a suspicious one. "I thought you were going to enroll at the Academy."

She widened her smile. "Yeah… but the other kids all have chakra… and we don't… so we need a special teacher for training… and Iruka-sensei is going to teach us all the other stuff anyway in class, and Shima-sama is sooooooo tiny… and fragile… and I promise to whack Amachi on the head if he's mean to you…" she batted her eyelids at him, holding her hands in front of her chest.

He looked down at her. 'It's not fair, being accossed by a cute little girl' he thought. The brat had apparently given this quite a lot of thoughtful planning, even as to how to dress to give the best "lovely country girl with flowers and straw hat" picture, except for the flowers. She was even wearing blue overalls with the Uchiha-Uzumaki symbol on the front, a pink t-shirt with daisies on underneath, AND a dainty straw hat to protect her pink cheeks. Next to her, Amachi looked like a small desert warrior, tall and proud with the linen pants and impromptu turban. Both looked at him expectantly.

Kakashi sighed, promising himself to have a long talk with Sakura about her teaching feminine guerrilla tactics to her adopted niece. "Let's see what the Godaime says." He answered in a gruff voice. The children shared a high-five.

* * *

Watching Naruto and Shikamaru interact with the merchant envoys was fascinating.

First, because Naruto had had his fill of dealing with Daimyos and nobles for the year (as he had confessed to him in bed the last night), having been pestered as hell for the last six months.

"Those ASSHOLES think I'm some kind of maid, they're always complaining, always looking down at people and bothering everyone, nothing is ever good enough for them! And the things they say about the other countries! Aaagh, makes me want to STRANGLE them!" he had complained.

Second, because of the looks and comments said nobles made behind their backs, looking at the couple. Same sex relationships and marriages weren't uncommon amongst shinobi and other warrior classes, especially since ninja medics had figured out how to manipulate reproduction; people were naturally weary of butting in a shinobi's personal life, what with all their violent tendencies, and surrogate mothering was a legitimate trade and a very profitable one at that. However, the nobles seemed to have a very antiquated view of the matter, and that view had been made itself noticed as soon as Naruto's family had joined the caravan.

The horrified, disgusted faces the nobles had made at their son were even worse. Especially when the boy had decided to take off his shirt.

Sasuke and Naruto were used to discrimination, but Naruto had never been exposed to blatant racism. Ninja came in all colors, and different bloodlines made for exquisite physical combinations, like Kisame. And Amachi was a gorgeous child, tall, proud, with a beautiful face and wild hair that, combined with his gallant behavior toward them, enchanted all the women and girls in Suna. The fact that his smile showed the "most perfect, white teeth ever" in Hinata's words had granted the boy even more admiration, and enough parting gifts to pack a mule with.

All those little displays of douchebaggery made Sasuke grind his teeth and keep as far from the palankin the nobles shared as he could. Naruto, however, being the Godaime's special envoy, didn't have that luxury.

Thus, he had decided to vent on Shikamaru, who had been assigned as his personal assistant.

As soon as Sasuke had noticed the interaction, he had taken a prime position at the back of the convoy to watch the show.

It went like this:

Every half hour the nobles asked for something stupid, either ice-cold refreshments (because gods forbid they drink tepid water from canteens like everyone) and snacks, or complained loudly about the weather, the sand, the difference in height of the current poor souls carrying their palankin, the flavor of the provided refreshments, and such. Naruto heard those complaints with a plastic smile on his face from his place at the right front side of the palankin, then went to convey the nobles' dissatisfaction to Shikamaru, who was walking (because gods forbid they run and offend the nobles' delicate dispositions) behind said palankin, glaring murder.

Both of them would then spend various minutes silently making the rudest hand signs (and since most of those had been created by the Inuzuka clan, they were able to convey a lot) Sasuke had ever seen at each other, before Shikamaru or Naruto (whoever won the apparent argument) would go get whatever the nobles wanted, or go apologize for whatever was bothering them.

It was highly entertaining, especially since Hinata, being a tracker ninja, had been trained in all of them, and went all shades of red when translating them to Sai, who took notes.

At night, in their tent, he mentioned this.

"You know, you're putting Hinata in a very uncomfortable situation with all the silent swearing, dobe."

"Huh?" Naruto answered sleepily, raising his head from Sasuke's shoulder.

"Sai's been making her translate your arguments with Shikamaru, he said he's going to write an encyclopedia of those so the Anbu can understand tracker sign language better." He answered with a smirk on his face.

"Oh, fuck, poor Hinata-chan…" Naruto snickered. "I have to apologize to her later, but those nobs were making us both crazy, so yeah… we have to vent somehow."

"Kakashi said he had never even seen some of those signs. It was all I could do not to let the kids see Sai's scroll" Sasuke chuckled, running his fingers through Naruto's hair.

"Oh, man, I wanted to knock some teeth off those bastards so bad today when they stared at Amachi… seriously, I want to be Hokage, but dealing with those assholes makes me feel filthy." Naruto whined, hiding his face on Sasuke's armpit.

"I was proud of him. Even prouder when he took off his shirt and all but flaunted his scars at them." Sasuke smiled and threw his leg over Naruto's waist.

"Ah, by the way, Kakashi said the kids asked him to be their personal trainer." He continued.

Naruto raised his head and kissed him. "Really?"

"Really. He said he'll go for it if Tsunade allows it." Sasuke said, kissed him back and moaned a bit when he felt Naruto's short beard scratch his cheek.

"And what are you going to do then? Join Anbu? You know baa-chan won't let you go on solo missions as a regular jounin, you're too damn famous now." Naruto had started to nibble along his jaw, encouraged by the moans and sighs.

"Usuratonkachi, stop teasing me, we're… aaahhh… in the middle of the desert…" Sasuke complained, knowing his brain would turn into putty at any moment now.

"It's your entire fault, I was almost sleeping and you teased me first, bastard", the blonde muttered, shamelessly groping for his groin.

"I teased you?" Sasuke squealed. "I was just talking, you horny pervert! Get your hands out of there", he gasped as Naruto slipped a hand into his pants and sucked on his neck, "there isn't anywhere to bathe around here, do you want us to stink all the way back home?"

Naruto looked up at him with a mischievous grin. "Yes, you teased me with your sexy voice. Don't worry, I'll lick you clean."

Sasuke widened his eyes and opened his mouth to complain, but he was pushed on his back as his cock was pulled out. His brain went then on a merry trip as he felt those sinful lips covering his length and all his reserves jumping out the window.

"I missed you so much, dobe…" he whispered, shuddering and weaving fingers through his hair. He could feel Naruto smiling around him, and bucked when he playfully nibbed with his teeth.

"Shhhhhh", Naruto hushed, and Sasuke bit back a loud moan when he felt it.

"Naruto" He growled after a few more minutes of slow oral torture, thrusting.

"Hmmmmmm?" Naruto thrummed stopping and leisurely playing with his tongue on the tip.

"Stop teasing or I'll fuck your throat hoarse."

Naruto raised his head and gave him a dirty look, then rose to his knees, braced his hands on the ground and bent over, swallowing him almost whole. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and decided to give in to the blatant challenge, grabbing his hair with one hand and his neck with the other before thrusting.

The position was very uncomfortable, but the blonde kept his balance as his throat was ruthlessly fucked. It gave Sasuke power and control, and Sasuke loved power over almost anything else, but control made Sasuke rough as hell, and being treated this roughly thrilled Naruto to his core, so much that he almost came untouched as he felt his beloved grunt and come with a last rough shove down his throat.

Sasuke kissed him softly as he went up to his arms again. He mouthed something, but his voice wouldn't come out and his throat felt raw.

Sasuke smirked and kissed him again.

"Hn, better not let anyone know that this IS a way to make you quiet."

The last thing Naruto thought before falling asleep was 'Oi, Kurama! Be nice and don't heal this.'

Naruto's sore throat lasted for the rest of the week, his inability to speak making him entirely useless for the nobs and thus freeing him to happily travel at the front of the convoy with his family and a very amused Kakashi.

* * *

Soon they were finally home.

"Lunch at Ichiraku's is on me, dattebayo!" Naruto almost screamed when they spotted the gates, and ran ahead.

"Papa, are you sure not letting me tell Tou-chan that Tsunade-sama is at the gates was a good idea?"

Sasuke and Kakashi nodded at the same time.

"Oi, Kabuto-san, do we have a decent science library in Konoha?" Amachi asked with a thoughtful look.

Kabuto frowned in surprise. "Yes… why?"

"I had a few ideas on the trip, but I need two adults to help out. Wanna help me and Chichi?"

"Did you ask him if he wants to help you first?" Kabuto said with a smirk.

"Oh, when he knows what my ideas are he'll be all for it. So, wanna help? I know I'm probably a genius next to other kids my age, but I'm still a kid yet."

Kabuto couldn't help but laugh at that. "That is a very Uchiha way to define yourself, you know."

Sasuke heard it from where he was walking with Kakashi, and made a smug face at that.


	16. Chapter 16

And then there was the Council.

Tsunade had grabbed Naruto by the collar right as he reached the gates. Four Anbu were behind her, and when the rest of the convoy arrived, they silently joined it to escort the merchant envoys to the capital city.

Everyone was dismissed except for Naruto and his family, Shikamaru, Kakashi and Sai, who followed a fuming Tsunade to the Hokage tower.

The Godaime stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned to Naruto.

"Before we get there, you both should know I'm not supporting this." She gave a sad, worried look to the two children. "The Council is already on my office. We have received a message from Swamp two days ago. I really, really hope you can talk your way out of this one, brat." She turned and they resumed walking.

Naruto crouched and took Amachi's hand on one of his. The boy stared ahead, seemingly unfazed, but his hands were cold, the other holding his sister's in a death grip.

"Amachi. Look at me."

The boy turned to his father.

"Nobody is going to take you away from us. I am not letting that happen. I –"

"Don't." The boy looked at him with serious, bottomless black eyes. "Don't promise. You don't owe us nothing."

"I don't make promises because I owe people, ttebayo! Gods, you're just like Sasuke!" Naruto almost screamed. "I WON'T let anyone take you away because I WANT you both and I WILL do whatever it takes to keep you, and I DON'T CARE what you think about this, ok?"

Both children gave him with a thoughtful gaze.

"Ok." They both said together.

He got up and turned to Sasuke, who had gone even paler than his usual complexion, and was giving him a death stare.

"If it comes to that, we'll leave." He whispered on his ear.

"If it comes to that, I'll kill those two for making us do it." Sasuke replied.

Naruto hesitated for a heartbeat before responding to that.

"I won't stop you."

* * *

"Uzumaki Naruto" Mitokado Homura started.

"Uchiha-Uzumaki." Naruto interrupted with a low growl.

"Very well. The Daimyo of the Land of Swamp has sent us a message informing that you have come in possession of a dangerous criminal and a private property of that country. You will turn them in to be sent back -"

"No, I won't. Monifa is dead and Amachi is not property."

Utatane Koharu gave what she probably thought was a sympathetic smile. Sasuke scowled, feeling his stomach churn at the sight.

"Naruto, we understand your feelings about this, but it is not in our power to meddle in another country's politics and -"

"Politics?" Sasuke snarled.

"Do not meddle in this, Uchiha" Homura barked. Sasuke made to go to him, but Amachi pulled on his wrist sharply, and called him down to whisper on his ear. Sasuke then rose and gave Homura a predatory grin.

"On the other hand," he said smoothly, "if it's a mater of property, then we can just buy him."

Naruto turned wide eyed at him, but stayed quiet.

"You cannot buy a human being as a citizen from Konoha. The Fire Country does not condone slavery." Homura retorted.

"Then we don't have to return him either." Naruto said.

"We will not let you jeopardize Konoha's status for a whim!" Koharu shout.

"Fine. We'll leave then. Suna has already offered us asylum." Naruto said sharply. He hadn't really asked, but Gaara had told him that whatever problem they might have, he'd be there for them, so it was at least a half-truth.

Even Tsunade's jaw dropped.

"Naruto! You… you can't do that! You belong in Konoha!" Koharu exclaimed.

"Watch me."

"You belong TO Konoha, boy. You will obey." Homura said with a scorn.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but Naruto held a hand to him.

"Is that the kind of Hokage you people want this village to have? A slave who enslaves the village in turn to do YOUR bidding? I will give you until tomorrow morning to think very carefully about this, old man. If by then my son is not welcome in this village with open arms, and you keep your decision, me and my family will leave Konoha, and the gods help you if you decide to try to stop us, because MY Konoha isn't a slavehold."

He then turned and left the room with his family in tow.

* * *

It seemed like half the village had gathered in front of the Hokage tower to silently wait for them.

Naruto sighed. He had no choice but to rely on their friends.

"Um… this is our son, Amachi." Everyone looked at the boy, who looked back at them, unafraid.

"He was enslaved and almost whipped to death in the Land of Swamp. He ran carrying his sensei all the way to Suna to meet us. His sensei was the oldest guy I ever met, and he was also beat up. They were starving to death when they got to us. His sensei died asking us to take care of him." Naruto looked at their shocked, consterned faces.

"The Council has received word that Swamp wants the boy back. They want me to turn him in. But I won't."

People were now whispering with each other, basically agreeing with what he had said.

"I told them they have until tomorrow morning to decide if we can stay together in peace here in Konoha. If they don't agree, we'll leave. I love this village, and I love you, and I really want to be Hokage someday, but… not if this is the price for it. Even if we have to fight to leave, we will." Naruto finished.

He saw their jaws drop with shock. He saw heads shaken in confusion. He even saw some (thankfully few) faces scowl at the stoic boy holding his hand.

But when they got to the end of the staircase, the remaining Rookie 9 opened the way for them, and followed.

* * *

Tsunade wasn't at all surprised when her doors were kicked open by a rabid Konohamaru. What surprised her is that he had actually waited for her to summon him.

"What the FUCK were you thinking, baa-chan?" He screamed at her. Behind him were his two team mates and a small army of chunnin.

"Close the door, brat." She said without raising her head.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled.

"CLOSE THE DOOR, KONOHAMARU!" She screamed at him, slamming her hand on her desk and almost smashing it. One of the chunnins hastily pulled the doors closed, leaving the three and her alone.

"Fine. The door is closed. Now explain why the hell you let those old assholes do that to Naruto nii-san!" Konohamaru snarled at her face.

Tsunade turned a paper toward him and gave it a meaningful look. When the chunnin didn't catch her meaning, she sighed and pulled his face down on it.

It read:

'I have sent a private message to our Daimyo about the problem yesterday, along with my concerns about the consequences of retaliatory actions by the Council. I can't just up and kick their asses without the Daimyo's consent, so I need YOU to convince Naruto and Sasuke not to leave before I get the Daimyo's decision.'

Konohamaru furrowed his brows and pulled a blank paper to write back.

'Why can't you tell those bastards to shut up and decide this yourself? Aren't you the damn Hokage already?'

Tsunade quickly scribbled her answer.

'Village conflicts raised by a foreign Daimyo's demands must be decided by the Daimyo himself. Apparently, the Council either doesn't know that, or they have something up their sleeve about this, and have most likely sent their own message to the Daimyo. They also seem to think Naruto wouldn't dare to leave the village, even if he said he will.'

"If he leaves, I will leave with him. And trust me; I won't be the only one." Konohamaru growled lowly.

Tsunade shoved him a last paper, a smug smile on her face.

'That's what I'm counting on.'

* * *

Sakura was the first to say it, as they were nearing Naruto's home.

"If you guys leave, we'll leave with you."

Naruto didn't even stop.

"You don't have to, and you won't, you have your parents to think about."

"Who says they won't come? I'm coming too and I'll bet my mom will be the first to pack everybody else's stuff when she hears about this." Chouji said in a determined voice.

"Yeah, better tell Gaara to expect A LOT of people, Naruto." Kiba said. "Nobody will want to stay here without you, especially if it's to live in a village that sends untrained little kids to be tortured and killed."

"I have my doubts about that, apparently Homura and Koharu were all too eager to put their hands on Root after Danzou fell." Sai commented. "But even then, their forces aren't strong enough to hold the Fire Country up if enough of us leave with you."

"Especially if they try to fight us." Ino growled. She had unwittingly touched Amachi's back and a badly healed scab had come out, and the boy had bled through his shirt. Sakura had noticed and stopped them to look at it, and Ino had felt angry tears well up in her eyes, especially when she saw both children hug Sakura in thanks for the bandage. The boy's stoic face reminded her of young Sasuke, except for the fact his eyes held no anger at all.

When they reached the house, Sasuke had gone straight to the dojo to pack all the weapons he could carry, leaving Naruto and the children to gather all they needed for the trip back, and also the few valuables they could sell to pay for expenses before getting a position there.

Their friends had decided to take turns guarding the house in teams of two people, while the remainder went home to share the news and pack.

Konohamaru and his team arrived soon after they had dispersed leaving Kiba and Sakura to take the first turn, along with a completely irate and already packed Iruka, little Motoyo and all. Ashi had already gone downhill to warn the other Inuzukas of the previous events.

"Iruka-sensei… you don't have to" Naruto told him as he entered the living room.

"Are you leaving your family behind?" Iruka challenged him.

"Of course not!' Naruto replied.

"Then shut up, because neither am I. Kurenai is on a mission, but Sai sent a messenger bird to her and she should join us on our way. The same should happen with the other teams on missions."

Two hours later they heard the loud sound of large carts being dragged uphill. Naruto and Sasuke went out to see the entire Akimichi family not only dragging their own large cart, but helping Teuchi Ichiraku and Ayame with theirs.

"So! I heard we were moving tomorrow morning, anybody hungry?" Teuchi beamed at them.

* * *

At 10 p.m., Tsunade gave Shizune a huge shit eating grin. They were both watching the current events from the office's window.

Half the village was dark already, but not because people were sleeping; rather, it seemed everyone and their mother was concentrating near the gates. Loaded carts where parked everywhere, as well as communal fires. Every once in a while, someone would start a speech, and loud cheering could be heard. And still more people were joining the throng.

"Tsunade-sama, if I wasn't seeing this for myself, I wouldn't believe it in a million years." Shizune said.

The Council burst in the office, both members covered in eggs from head to toe.

"Tsunade, what is the meaning of this? Where the hell are the guards to send those people home?" Homura yelled in fury.

"Guards? Which ones, the ones booing and throwing eggs at us along with half the civilians, or the ones surrounding the Anbu headquarters?" She replied with a smirk.

"You are the Hokage! Do something!" Koharu snarled at her.

"I already did. Unfortunately, you apparently have pleaded for the Daimyo to send the child back to Swamp in direct opposition to my personal view on the matter, so the Daimyo is forced to study the problem thoroughly before deciding what we're supposed to do, which, says the message I was sent from the capital, will take at least a month, unless one of the sides drops their claim and an unamimous decision is achieved. I could probably be the better party here and drop my claim to give the boy asylum, but then, I don't think it would make a difference."

Her smirk became a predatory grin.

* * *

At one a.m. Naruto and Sasuke were surprised by a ninja from Root being struck down through the roof right in their living room.

* * *

At one thirty a.m. the very alive and terrified headless body of said ninja was thrown over the walls of the Anbu headquarters, with a note saying that if his masters stopped having stupid ideas about killing Amachi-kun, his sister would let said body have its head back. However, if that was not to be the case, any further attempts would lead to Ishoo-chan having not only one quite realistic, albeit big-headed, talking doll, but a collection of them.

No other assassination attempts were made after that.

* * *

At 5 a.m. Sasuke didn't want to kill the Council anymore.

That was because he realized that taking _everything_ away from them while they watched impotently would be a much sweeter vengeance not only for what was being done to his family now, but for what the old bastards had done to Itachi and his family before, too.

As he and Naruto began walking the way out to the gates, he tried to wrap his mind around the sheer magnitude of what his dobe's decision had brought, but couldn't.

It seemed the entire village was moving out with them. Throngs of people carrying backpacks or pulling carts were spread as far as his eyes could see.

They were greeted by everyone they passed. People paid special attention to Naruto and the children, either congratulating Amachi for his bravery, or Ishoo for her support to her "new" brother, but even Sasuke was given handshakes, hugs and nods of respect, which, even though he hadn't been exactly treated with hatred when he and Naruto had returned to the village, had never happened to him so openly before.

As they reached the main road, he realized there was actually a sort of organized defense being mounted. Civilians were being separated in groups by strategically positioned carts on the sides, pulled by genin and watched over by higher ranked ninja. Trackers – and it seemed not only the Inuzukas were following them in bulk, but also the entire Hyuuga clan – were spread on the roofs and alleys aside the main road. Med nins were seen here and there, along with some injured who had been at the hospital, but had adamantly refused to stay in the village.

After the failed assassination attempt, a small number of previously remaining Anbu had surrendered their masks and weapons and asked to be taken as prisoners. Sai had promptly told them that as long as they had seen reason, they were welcome as comrades, and immediately put them in charge of carrying the old people and the wounded on their backs right then and there. He told them it would be good for morale. Of course, the Anbu that had immediately sided with Naruto had been moved to watch over them.

All that made Sasuke so ecstatic he felt shivers of pleasure every now and then. Especially after Konohamaru had told them that Tsunade had informed not only the Daimyo, but the other Four Kage about what was going on, saying that in case the following people – with a list for EVERY citizen in the village including Shizune, who had reluctantly joined the throng after Tsunade threatened to throw her in the crowd from her office window – were seen, they were supposed to be treated as missing nin. She explicitly mentioned they were all travelling together.

The mere thought of the elders being publicly humiliated and quite probably condemned to death for shaming the Fire Country in front of all the other nations was liberating in a way that killing had never even come close to. The old saying was definitely right; revenge was a dish best served cold. And this kind of revenge was the best flavor of ice cream ever invented.

Naruto thought that if Sasuke's smile got bigger, the top of his head would fall off.

* * *

At 5:30 a.m. Tsunade wrote a message, wrapped it on a rock and opened the window.

"Yo! Shizune!" She yelled at her assistant, who was standing at the edge of the throng closest to the Hokage tower.

She threw the rock at Shizune, narrowly missing her head.

"Take that message to Naruto and for fuck's sake get Konohamaru to open a safe path to the top of the gates!"

Shizune nodded and went about her task.

Tsunade went to the elder's quarters.

"You have exactly fifteen minutes left to make up your mind, it will take at least fifteen more for you to drag your sorry asses up to the top of the gates. I'll be on my way now. Don't do anything stupid." She announced, and left.

* * *

It was about then that Naruto and Sasuke realized their daughter had gone missing. Naruto pulled a completely unconcerned Amachi to the side.

"Where is she?" He whispered in the boy's ear.

"Making sure the old people don't kill themselves and ruin all the fun." The boy's eyes glinted with evil glee.

Sasuke's smile got impossibly wider. "Thanks."

* * *

At 5:45 a.m. Homura and Koharu were seated in front of each other, katanas in hands.

"So it has come to this." Koharu said in a bitter tone.

"At least we won't give anyone the satisfaction of humiliating us further." Homura snarled.

They felt a small hand cover each of theirs, and suddenly a little girl was between them.

"Oh no, you don't. You do what you want afterwards, but you answer for it like anyone else before, or else you answer anyway, but with your guts hanging out for everyone to see. Your choice." Ishoo said with a warning tone.

The elders ripped their guts out with the katanas, and fainted briefly, only to wake up when the girl kicked each of their shins.

"Didn't baa-chan tell you not to do anything stupid? Now get up and go face what you did, you mean people."

The elders got up in wonder, their intestines unfolding and falling from their bellies.

"And pick those up, or else it will be YOU cleaning up all the mess, I'm already busy with your pain." The girl added through her clenched teeth.

"You should listen to her; she gets really mad when she's in pain." A male voice said in an apologetic tone. "Won't help anything if you try something more drastic, trust me."

They looked back at the girl. A bored looking severed head was stuck on a small doll's body, which in turn was tied upside down on her belt.

* * *

At 5:58 a.m. the Hokage was standing on top of the gates, facing down the entire village, a determined Naruto and the giddiest Uchiha ever seen in history at the front of the throngs, with a smug-looking boy perched on his shoulders. She realized the boy looked exactly like a shadow copy of Sasuke: completely different in skin color and hair, but with the same eyes, features and demeanor, except for the lack of one defining feature.

Amachi's eyes held no hate whatsoever, only amused smugness. The boy saluted at her with a knowing smirk. She couldn't help herself to raise an eyebrow and salute back to him. 'Who knows what the gods have brought us through this child, indeed' she thought. 'Or children', she amended, seeing Ishoo uncloak beside her and jump down on Naruto's arms. She had seemed a normal enough kid by ninja standards before leaving for Suna, but with her brother beside her she had obviously changed a lot, and it showed in the way she perched on Naruto's shoulders and looked back up with unwavering determination in her colorful eyes.

Silence suddenly fell like a shroud, and Tsunade turned her head.

Everyone followed the two elders as they shuffled uneasily to the Godaime's side. They held a piece of paper out to her and haughtily overlooked the crowd in silence.

Tsunade read and examined the paper carefully with a chakra-glowing hand. Apparently satisfied, she grunted.

"The Council declines from appealing for their motion to return the boy Amachi to the Land of Swamp, and agrees that Konoha grants him asylum. It also declines any rights to contest his adoption by the Uchiha-Uzumakis."

The walls trembled with the cheers. Sai jumped up with a messenger bird in a cage so the message could be sent to the capital city immediately.

The cheering subsided after a few minutes, but nobody moved. The elders started to leave.

"HEY!" A male voice screamed. "Don't you even THINK about leaving before APOLOGIZING, you creeps!" The man – obviously a civilian, since all ninjas were proudly wearing their hitai-ates – raised his arm in defiance.

"Yeah, we had about ENOUGH of your crap! You've been after Naruto since he was born!" A short woman agreed.

"Make them apologize, Hokage-sama!" Another civilian said.

Naruto saw Tsunade's alarmed glare and decided to act before the unrest turned into a riot. He let Ishoo down, jumped up beside Tsunade, and frowned at the crowd.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP, DATTEBAYO!" He yelled, and they did.

"Look, if they want to apologize, I'll take it, but forcing them to do it is just petty. Seriously, I don't want that." he sighed. "We just want to go home in peace."

"Hear hear!" Chouza said, starting a chorus of assentment.

* * *

Sakura came out of the operation room carrying the sleeping Uchiha-Uzumaki girl.

"We gave her a mild sedative for the pain and examined her as best we could. She should be fine, but please… don't let her do this again for a while." She said, passing the girl to Sasuke.

"What about the elders and that Anbu?" Naruto asked unconcernedly. He had heard the girl's cries of pain as she had "fixed" them.

"They are fine." Sakura answered with a grim face. "Unfortunately, they seemed not to feel any discomfort."

"Don't you all worry about it too much; it'll get better as the body grows." Amachi said.

"Will the pain go away when she's bigger?" Sasuke asked him.

"No, but the body will get used to it. It'll be easier to keep quiet through it." The boy said.

"Aren't you sorry for her?" Sakura asked in shock. "What she went through is horrible!"

"Why should I fell sorry for myself? Besides, it's not like I never felt anything like that before." The boy asked in genuine wonder, pointing to his back.

Naruto put a hand on her shoulder and led her kindly away. "Don't try to understand too much, it's a long story."

Sakura took a good look at him. "Well, at least now that you're going home you'll be able to shave, you're beginning to look like you played tonsil-hockey with a hedgehog."

Naruto smiled and scratched the back of his head. "Well, about that… I don't know, Sasuke likes it, and I think it makes me look more grown up, or something like that."

"Sasuke likes it, huh? Boy, you're totally whipped!" She laughed.

"Me? No way!"

"Yes you, I'll bet if Sasuke tells you to start wearing high heels you'd do it!"

"Of course not! Sasuke doesn't like high heels, er, um."

Sakura laughed until after they left.

* * *

"If the Daimyo takes action against the elders I'll petition for their punishment to be to clean up this mess." Naruto said in a tired voice, when they were finally home.

It looked like a hurricane had passed through the place. The living room floor was still covered in broken wood, tiles and blood from Ishoo's earlier "lesson" to the unfortunate Root ninja, right under the hole in the roof. Shoe marks were everywhere, and apparently all their cups and glasses had been used sometime or another during the night, and left on every available surface.

Sasuke took the sleeping girl and yawning boy into their room and closed the curtains so they could rest easier, while Naruto put the take out bento they had got for dinner in the fridge and their bags down in the main bedroom.

He was just coming out when Sasuke shoved him against the wall in a violent kiss.

"Teme…" he started, trying to wriggle out of the embrace, "I have to pee!" he whispered hurriedly.

"You have five minutes, dobe." Sasuke whispered back and let said frantic dobe run to the bathroom.

One aspect of the Uchiha-Uzumaki couple's relationship that was baffling to anyone who wasn't used to their history together was their almost complete lack of basic courtesy towards each other. They never exchanged affectionate words in public even though they had no embarrassment whatsoever in publicly announcing their relationship, after the Yondaime had given them his blessing; the only thing approaching a declaration of love had been their bombastic explanation at the allied forces' camp, to the point that their wedding wows had been a hasty "If you even talk about running away again I'll kick your ass so hard you'll puke your balls out" from Naruto, and a sarcastic "Hn" from Sasuke (it made Temari sigh like it was the most romantic exchange she had ever seen, which should have set off a few alarms on Shikamaru's head, in retrospect, but then he was a Nara and would probably expect nothing different from a woman anyway).

The fact was that since Naruto had been basically raised by himself and Sasuke had come from a long line of arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, denial-addicted, hypocritical, paranoid psychopaths (in Naruto's endearing terms, all of which Sasuke secretly agreed with but would rather be caught dead in a pink tutu and matching fishnet stockings than admitting to in public), they had simply moved their physical way of dealing with their relationship into the bedroom, not that some more enlightened people (namely Sai, of all people) hadn't pointed out that their fighting looked just like rough gay sex anyway.

Which was the reason for the fact that almost every time Sasuke or Naruto wanted to thank the other for something meaningful, they'd simply fuck each other's brains out until one of them called uncle, or the neighbors threatened to call the fire fighting ninjas to cool them off (which had actually happened once in the first months of their marriage and led to a lecture by a very disturbed Tsunade and a discreet lesson on the convenience of handy gags by a blushing Shizune afterwards).

It was almost a Pavlovian reflex, and Sasuke had to have been literally drooling to thank Naruto for the last few hours; after all, he had had the privilege of watching the only two people he not only could never forgive but had actively regretted having not killed being thoroughly dishonored, humiliated and reduced to nothing in the eyes of the entire village, basically due to the simple fact that even those people who didn't worship Naruto like some kind of god were either decent enough to follow them out of basic principles, or smart enough to know that Konoha would be completely annihilated once its most powerful ninjas had defected.

Hence the reason for Naruto to make full use of his entire five-minute reprieve to emerge not only relieved but freshly and thoroughly showered out of the bathroom, wearing an open bathrobe. He didn't even sigh twice as Sasuke, still dressed up, unceremoniously threw him over a shouder and headed to the dojo.

He was, however, extremely baffled when instead of jumping straight into the fray, as it was, Sasuke pulled him down on his lap on a corner and just hugged him quietly for a long time.

"Um, Sasuke..."

"Shut up, dobe."

Naruto was stopped from turning back to face him by the feeling of warm liquid dropping on his back, followed by an almost inaudible sob that stunned him into frozen silence.

And so it was that the last Uchiha finally let the ghosts of his past rest in peace.

* * *

It was after midnight when two small figures silently left the house.

First, Amachi stopped at the side of the property's gates, dug a small hole in the ground and put a small iron trident in it, cutting his hand with a kunai and letting blood drop over the fetish, which he then buried.

Then, the two figures purposefully set out into the sleeping village.

* * *

That night, the village dreamed.

On every post and every gate, guards quietly fell asleep.

Dogs retired for the night, and cats quietly played around with the mushi.

The most persistent insomniacs reconciled with their pillows.

The civilians slept soundly.

The sick rested.

The dying found painless release from their suffering.

The sad found relief.

The heartsick were soothed.

The grieving felt comforted.

The energy remains of painful memories were dissolved from every home and every corner.

And then Amachi reached the sterile remains of the Uchiha quarter.

He let his blood drop on the ground, and then stood back.

Earthworms and mushi began to work, and soon the soil was black and rich, ready to conceive again.

As the smell of dawn came, Ishoo knelt, stabbed her hands and pushed them into the earth.

The flowers were ready to open by the time they left.

**Author Notes:**

This is the last one on this story, events will continue in the next installment, When Worlds Collide, which is set six years after these events.


End file.
